Any more new recruits?

DH is utterly on board. He abhors the hatred of women. He is very busy telling our DDs that women need safe spaces.

Two young guys I work with are equally supportive and have spoken to me about it.

It saddens me when some posters have no experience of support from men. I value it just as I value the support of my female friends too.

And I have at least made it an issue in groups I attend too.

Like a lot of people I was all up for the inclusion of transwomen into women's spaces until I realised that they didn't have to have the chop to be transwomen. DH knows that but got incredibly hurt when I said that a penis is a weapon because to me it is. And I would imagine it's the same for a lot of women. But that's still ok apparently because if they have lady brains they won't be violent!

Sorry to ramble on, I have no one in real life who gets it

When we first started having discussions about this (relatively recently) I sent him a couple of articles. One I think about gender colonialism, who's analysis he disagreed with. Not sure how he rationalised it as he's a man but hey.

I think I get frustrated because I just can't articulate my arguments properly and I get confused that he can't see how circular his discussion is. I did get cross when he referred to me a cis woman and told him why I find it insulting. Yet this is a man who wouldn't even call me his 'wife' a couple of years ago because I'm not property. But he can't see that's he's all up for taking away my language and identity??????

We've left it for the moment with the proviso that we do more research and revisit the issue in a couple of weeks.

I won't lie, it does my head in that he could even think the poor trans people need women's spaces because 'male violence' aaargghhhh

I work in a very very woke place with a lot of young people. I have to keep my GC views to myself at work. I would no longer have a job if I didn't, and I need to pay the bills for my children's sake.

But, I did post JKR essay on my private Facebook page and the response I got blew my husbands mind. I had over 10 private messages saying that they thought it was brilliant but they didn't want to say it publicly for the fear of backlash and being called a TERF. Husband couldn't believe how silenced women are on this, and was disgusted and has now started looking into it more. I have a long way to go for being more open myself, but I am getting there. I even replied on twitter to a TRA complaint that "JK is wrong and not all women menstruate" and I have yet to receive a backlash.

talkingdeadscot

How does your husband explain the much higher rate of sex offenses among the transgender population compared to other males? Their crime rate is the same in all other respects.

What I find bemusing and illogical is all the disgusting slurs mentioning JKR's "coochie". I can honestly say I have never, ever given a moment's thought to another woman's vagina/vulva. For a group that considers genitalia irrelevant they are really going on about it. Also, what is the 'hag' insult that is prevalent in their comments? Is it because she is no longer young?

Unfortunately all my friends seem to be vying for spots on the woke Olympics team and are falling over themselves to express their disdain for Rowling. I have only perhaps planted the seed of doubt though not yet converted one friend. My DH has gone from apathy to understanding over the last year, and this was certainly accelerated by Rowling's article and the misogynistic backlash she received.

It's heartening to read that some young people get it. I worried that the younger generation were all of the TWAW persuasion. Friends with daughters in their teens and early 20s say that their daughters think it's as important as the gay rights movement in the 80s. How depressing.

My OH gets it completely. And he has a beard! I was never 'woke' but I remember a boss a few years ago asking if I was going to sign the petition that was going around supporting the transwoman who had been charged with violent assault going into a women's prison. He joked that 'I was a feminist so surely I'd be supporting this'. I looked into it and saw that this man (can't remember his name) had a website on which he described his "8 inch surprise" and I think had twice been convicted of violent assault. I told my boss that no way would I be signing that petition and that was the first I really thought about it.

A few years later a dear friend of mine decided at a grand old age that he had always been a woman. I am embarrassed by his performance of womanhood (manicures and lipstick) and I am offended by his assumption that he can decide he is a woman overnight.

This friend's transition, such as it is, also helped to peak trans my OH but he is sensible anyway and completely gets it. I think many people out of the Twittersphere do. My parents and two aunts definitely think it's all nonsense (am I allowed to say that?? I'm not sure anymore!).

That's good Lamahaha. But am I brave enough to send it to my friend?

And on the subject of how to talk to people about it, here's a great article: How To Talk to Your Liberal Friends About JK Rowling

genderheretics.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-to-your-liberal-friends?token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoxMTI5NDY5NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6NTQ3NDI4LCJfIjoiN3lUdS8iLCJpYXQiOjE1OTE5MTMxMTcsImV4cCI6MTU5MTkxNjcxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTQwMDc3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.sQCLCEHNREVkL4YgB3w-27qT4R5pv5lEI3NT67Sa3rU

"Are you overjoyed by the courage that author JK Rowling has demonstrated, but sad that you don’t know how to talk about it with your liberal friends? Here is a handy, dandy guide to dealing with that difficult friend, family member, or co-worker.

It’s easy. Really! Just stick to the biggest issue that Rowling has raised: the systematic silencing of women who dare to speak about their gender heresies."

I converted my friend ages ago and then she spoke to her daughter, who said "why can't you just be kind."

So she decided to be "kind" and I did not lose her friendship, but had to hide my views. That hurt. Is it a real friendship if you only stay friends by holding something in?

Although...my friend is a huge HP fan who loves JKR and now I am getting cryptic texts. Perhaps a chink of light.

PS I hardly speak to anyone outside my immediate family so don't get the chance to spread the word. But my son, daughter and son-in-law are all very GC, especially the SIL who is a scientist and is always arguing with is very woke sister and I discusses a lot with friends, colleagues etc. He's not one to hold back.

He gets most of his GC info from me, so...

Among my FB friends are a couple of GC women (not counting the many in GC groups, such as Venice Allen and Posie).

But also one woke-ish woman who has always been very pro-alphabet-salad, inclusive, sex-positive, lib-fem etc. Never actually argued pro-TRA stuff, but just by her other statements you can tell that she is "inclusive", open-minded to the point of posting extremely personal and in my eyes TMI stuff. She is very prolific on FB -- I'm not. In her 50's.

One of the GC women is brave enough to post all kinds of GC articles on her private wall. She usually gets lots of resonance, likes, hearts, approving comments, support for being brave, etc from women who obviously agree with her but never post openly themselves.

The lib-fem one never comments on the GC one, and as far as I can tell never likes her GC posts.

Today the GC one has posted Rowling's article saying it's a must-read, and has had a great response -- including the lib-fem one, who commented that it's a great article!!!! I'm dumbstruck. I cannot believe she is peaking at last!

She is extremely popular, has tons of friends, is very outspoken etc. She's a lovely person (I've met her in rl) but soooooo liberal...

I think a LOT of women are peaking. And men. Many of the supportive Times comments are by males. I am hopeful.

Dh has been agnostic about it all despite my years of ranting. He told me today he gets what I've been talking about now.

DH has gone from politely indicating he thought I was slightly batshit this time last year, to agreeing completely with the GC position.

He works in the wokest of woke environments (Irish trade unionism) and has started dipping his toe into the waters at work.

My brother mentioned it without my saying anything. We are finally in agreement over more or less everything after many many years. Surprising...

scot you need to show your husband this study:

journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

They looked at every single Swedish person who transitioned over a 30 year period and found that post-transition males have the same pattern of criminality as non-transitioned males.

Also, 60% of male sex transgender prisoners in UK prisons are sex offenders, that's according to Ministry of Justice figures.

I've converted my DH and my DD who is 15. She's even read Invisible Women. It's the subject of her speaking exam for English GCSE.
I am proud of her!

I don’t think I’ve converted ppl so much as woken them up. Sisters & mum didbt take much, DH was a “ph god there goes kit ranting again” until the rugby thing with the TW playing with women and “folding them like deckchairs” and the rugby referees subsequently coming out and expressing their fears for player safety

He manages umpires in hockey & when I said “so what would you advise your umpires in terms of their duty of care if a TW turns up playing in a ladies side?”
the light dawned

His national federation are publicly TWAW but I know privately the umpires are worried about their position with player safety

I have been having conversations with people too about this whole debate and a lot of people have just been baffled by where we are with things.

I’ve been ‘banging on’ about this for for some years now (largely thanks to Mumsnet and Magdalen Berns). DH has always been ‘sympathetic’ to my GC views but after reading JK’s essay, came up to me this morning and said, “You’re right.” My teenage boys take the piss out of me all the time for ranting whenever this issue comes up in the papers, but do actually agree with me. 17 year old DS says all his friends think the same, as does his girlfriend, so that is encouraging.

*when something