JK new post on her reasons for writing about gender

A bit of a classic was whether they should go to a vegetarian or a halal restaurant for their Christmas dinner. Muslims said they would feel excluded from somewhere that served alcohol, vegetarians asked why they could not have similar concerns about somewhere that served meat.

This is the kind of thing that gives vegetarians a bad name. I've been vegetarian since 1971 and I've always gone out to eat with meat eaters; my husband ate meat and I would actually go to the butcher, buy a steak or whatever, and cook it for him. And then people complain because they are mocked because they are vegetarians.

I'm guessing this means that they have actually read her essay now whereas previously they were taking the decision not to acknowledge or engage with what she wrote.

I think it’s that some people have painted themselves into a woke corner. They know what they ought to say, despite it being glaringly inconsistent with everything else that comes out of their mouths.

Prinstress Adichie is also brave and awesome standing up for women, thanks for the clip.
So sorry you have had to deal with that at your therapy, of all places. Awful.

Another author I love and admire, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/clip/2237b1ff-f932-4893-9827-5917b636e96c

Where is the rolling on the floor crying with laughter emoji, MNHQ?

I've thought about asking for this before, but I feel I would need to use it far too much.

I'm also wondering about the older female members of the HP cast (or, for that matter, male). We've obviously read the woke statements from Radcliffe, Watson etc but does anyone know what Julie Walters thinks?

I've noticed an interesting change in rhetoric this morning. Many of those who had previously screamed for the burning at the stake of JKR are now saying that they still disagree with her viewpoints but are defending her as a victim of domestic violence and sexual assault, acknowledging her trauma and her history.

I'm guessing this means that they have actually read her essay now whereas previously they were taking the decision not to acknowledge or engage with what she wrote. It has shone a light on the way that women are dismissed when we try to share our experiences.

More so, a light is being shone on violence against women which can surely only serve to open up the discussion about sex segregated safe spaces, why the exist and why we fought long and hard for these.

Back in the ‘90s, the veggies (inc me) would’ve picked non-meat food from wherever, the Muslims (inc my friend) wouldn’t have ordered booze from wherever. My not-terribly-observant Jewish friend would eat veggie food out to avoid non-kosher meat (yes, I know, non-kosher kitchen!).

This rub-along compromising fails miserably when identity assertion and purity are the priority.

People are free to choose what matters most to them, of course.

Maybe just don’t all hang out together, ever? Very progressive.

Most young people believe in being nice, and in being inclusive. They have had a lifetime of PHSE education. Excluding any group within the cohort would be seen as unacceptable, both by that group and by the others. Which leads to a sense of constantly treading on eggshells. Concepts of triggering, identity and more are all live and kicking on University campuses. JKR saying things as she sees them, and not as she "should" be saying them, is very important.

I think it is all the more important to young women as they seem to bear the brunt of the "be nice" directives.

That said, I am old enough to also suspect identity assertion. But recognise that on some campuses and in some professions (acting - eh Emma and Daniel?) you ignore the zeitgeist at your peril.

Prinstress I’m so sorry

On JK’s far reaching sunlight - my DH (long time GC but doesn’t broadcast it) tells me his gaming group have been messaging about JK (all men 30s-40s all parents, all brought up working class, 4 have lots of professional contact with teen children) - they all get it.

prin

Thanks @CaraDune

This is the only treatment option available to me on the NHS and it is working, the improvement in myself despite these challenges is astounding!

I’m not going to give that up, but I do feel like I need to present my concerns to the trust in writing. I know I won’t be the only person attending who feels that way, and I’m feeling strong enough now to stand up for myself.

I matter.

@Prinstress

That is awful. I'd say "find a new therapist", but I know that finding even one therapist is a bloody struggle.

Ditto the day they had on ‘transgender medicine’. A whole afternoon with a brave and stunning trans women telling them how brave and stunning they were. The medical students were genuinely interested in the medicine stuff: hormones, surgery etc, things they might see as GPS or hospital doctors. Unfortunately the brave and stunning person had decided not to have any medical intervention, so discussion was limited to the dangers of changing your medical records. (Students thought it was crazy and were confused as to why someone would reduce their chances of survival after, say, an RTA.) I wondered how much it cost the University and how many similar gigs there are out there. Apparently the speaker was very arrogant, so perhaps the learning, intended or not, was to recognise power structures and keep individual thoughts to yourself.

I am now imagining this scene as written in a Tom Sharpe novel...

Where is the rolling on the floor crying with laughter emoji, MNHQ?

Alcohol free vegetarian! Is there anywhere they could actually go in that case?

I’m sceptical this is genuinely ethically driven, seems more like identity assertion for the sake of it.

Maybe just don’t all hang out together, ever?

Very progressive.

I’m currently in a therapy program for Personality disorder and PTSD treatment, which I suffer from due to male violence and sexual abuse I have experienced throughout my life.

The place I go to for treatment also houses a gender dysphoria clinic. My diagnosis is a mental illness. There’s is not.

We have a shared waiting room where I quite often have to sit in close proximity to middle aged Trans Women who dress and act like a pornified caricature of women.
I find this highly distressing and it has on one occasion triggered a panic attack, which resulted in me having to leave and not attend my therapy.

When I voiced my concern and confusion to my (lovely) therapist a year ago, I felt completely invalidated by her response. She could not explain why I suffer from something defined as a mental illness, but they do not, or why it is appropriate for traumatised women to have to share a space with people who are clearly (to me) AGP.

I had an online session with her this week where I was in floods of tears over the JK essay and subsequent backlash. I explained how I feel women are being retraumatised by this constant need to validate Trans Women while invalidating female trauma victims and reprogramming us to be able to handle the world. I think she’s finally starting to see where i’m coming from, she said she was going to read Jo’s essay and do some more research online.

I tried to speak to my best friend about how distressing I find it and the battles I’ve had about going to therapy, and feeling “eyed up” by these Trans Women, how the way they dress and present makes me feel uncomfortable and like I’m forced to take part in their fetish by being in the same room.

Her response was “yeah I would feel uncomfortable too, but maybe these men just don’t know how to dress”

I’m completely devastated, I know she loves drag race and drag queens so not overly surprised but as someone who has also suffered sexual assault and male violence I am so disappointed she thinks that women’s rights and needs should come second to making sure trans people don’t feel uncomfortable.

Feel really alone right now.

Fanta, exactly. And others argued that since they were medical students, alcohol soaked Christmas celebrations were part of their cultural traditions. I think the solution was “pre’s” and “after’s”.

Ditto the day they had on ‘transgender medicine’. A whole afternoon with a brave and stunning trans women telling them how brave and stunning they were. The medical students were genuinely interested in the medicine stuff: hormones, surgery etc, things they might see as GPS or hospital doctors. Unfortunately the brave and stunning person had decided not to have any medical intervention, so discussion was limited to the dangers of changing your medical records. (Students thought it was crazy and were confused as to why someone would reduce their chances of survival after, say, an RTA.) I wondered how much it cost the University and how many similar gigs there are out there. Apparently the speaker was very arrogant, so perhaps the learning, intended or not, was to recognise power structures and keep individual thoughts to yourself.

Hence how important JKRs statement is.

A bit of a classic was whether they should go to a vegetarian or a halal restaurant for their Christmas dinner. Muslims said they would feel excluded from somewhere that served alcohol, vegetarians asked why they could not have similar concerns about somewhere that served meat.

I'm a vegetarian myself and this made me hoot. This is where victim politics gets you.

Yes, quite Jemima

www.bl.uk/votes-for-women/articles/the-anti-suffrage-movement

That sounds like a great Christmas dinner needmoresleep. Alcohol free vegetarian! Is there anywhere they could actually go in that case?

Student DDs take is interesting. She is still at the “be kind” stage but tells me she has read JKRs statement and though she does not think she agrees with everything, she feels that JKR has a right to say what she says.

Apparently campus life is constraining. You have to be very careful not to say anything that might offend. Poor DD “liked” something by mistake as she scrolled down on a large group chat, so got piled on. All sorted following an abject apology, but it caused a large amount of stress for something she did not realise she had done. There has been more. A bit of a classic was whether they should go to a vegetarian or a halal restaurant for their Christmas dinner. Muslims said they would feel excluded from somewhere that served alcohol, vegetarians asked why they could not have similar concerns about somewhere that served meat.

So thank you JKR for being ready to speak up for what you believe in. It means a lot for one member of the Harry Potter generation.

Shared J Ks piece on my Facebook. Slowly gathering likes. No cancellations yet. I am so angry about all this I can barely sleep.

I had a strong feeling that Rupert Grint would stay quiet on this but hey ho. She must be feeling "et tu, Rupert?"

Jameela's off on one again on twitter, with a spectacular tweet which starts with condemnation of the violent threats women receive on twitter, but then telling them they're asking for it.

When, in my teens, I first read the Handmaid's Tale, I wondered how the Aunt Lydias could exist. I was so young and naive then. There are many Aunt Lydias out there.

Just "four legs good, two legs bad" to get the retweets.

This is exactly it.

I still find the TRA lack of self-awareness regarding the word 'bigot' somewhat amusing though. 'You're just a bigot so I'm not going to engage with your opinions!'