Safe Haven Laws

Hi @AllCatsAreBeautiful I think I'm exploring my own views on this as I haven't thought about safe haven laws before.

I think a parent who is struggling with a special needs child who is at toddler stage should get support and shouldn't simply be able to abandon a child as that would be neglect. I don't feel it compares to adoption, I think that's entirely different and I wouldn't suggest there should be consequences for that situation.

I don't think you can abandon a child without there being some checks and balances. For context a woman I vaguely know through family who keeps having children and they keep ending up in foster care due to neglect. No one can stop her having children but if she simply dropped off her newborn at the fire station no one could trace her and existing and future children couldn't be monitored.

I think Around made a good point about there being help for the mother at the safe haven and there being some chance to follow up. As the OP says I think 3 weeks sounds reasonable, I'd be concerned if the age went up to 6 months for example, but I really don't know where the cut off age should be, this is what I need to explore as I know mothers who have struggled, I also wonder if it would be just for teenage mothers or older mothers? I don't know, I really need to think and read a bit more.

And I agree with what Ruffle said

I think more support without stigma would also be a huge help in terms of prevention.

What kind of "consequences" would we be talking about for the women or girls giving up their babies after a yet to be determined cutoff point?

I think that if someone can't cope and knows they can't cope then it just makes sense to give them a way to abandon the baby without putting it in immediate danger. The US isn't the only country that provides that option.

This is really interesting OP, thanks for starting this conversation. I agree with you that these kind of Safe Harbour laws would be a good idea in the UK too.

I'm interested in the comment from @OhHolyJesus – "there would need to be some deep thinking in when the age 'cut off' is, when a baby cannot be abandoned without consequences". I don't agree that there should be 'consequences' after a cut off, I don't think? Are there 'consequences' for putting a child up for adoption? (Genuine question – I don't know! If there are, I don't think there should be.) I would tend to view giving up a baby or child as 'like' late-term abortion in the sense that no one will choose it lightly, and anyone who does need to do this will therefore by definition have her own serious reasons for it. Plus forcing someone to continue to parent a child that she can no longer cope with (for whatever reason) will obviously be a horrible experience for the mother but also likely be a terrible experience for the child, and for that reason if she wants to 'give up' the baby or child in a way that's as safe as possible, that should be made possible for her.

I guess my post isn't that relevant as she wasn't newborn and people knew she existed.

I think more support without stigma would also be a huge help in terms of prevention.

In the UK there's this idea that if you go to someone and say "I'm not coping. I can't do this." The only people you'll be put in touch with are Social Services - and let's face it, few of us would voluntarily contact them. I remember when dd1 was tiny, she wobbled onto a toy which left her with a small, perfectly round 'suspicious looking' mark on her forehead. The questions I received from professionals were probably warranted as I had PND but i was left with the overwhelming feeling that I was a shit mother and therefore a shit person. There were hundreds of times I thought "i am so alone, I just can't do this anymore". I'd also had a previous abortion i never told my parents about at 21.

Safe haven laws make a lot of sense- I'd fo aa far as to include a facilty for the mother of a newborn to have a medical checkup without names being taken.

Good idea.

Abortions aren't as acceptable in America as they are here, so they do need more laws around the problems of unwanted babies.

I do feel extremely sad that so many women want to hide their pregnancies and dump a baby on a cold night, rather than go through the adoption process.
Like you OP I can't really think of many examples, maybe it's sometimes related to conservative religious reasons and women who are abused and frightened. Nonetheless I would fall on the side of yes it's a good law and I wouldn't object to it in the UK.

This is really interesting OP, I think a bit like where the law stands on abortion (when a foetus becomes a baby) there would need to be some deep thinking in when the age 'cut off' is, when a baby cannot be abandoned without consequences.

This would be quite tough in some ways to action but I agree with the principles of it. It's certainly better than the alternative, the US stats are shocking though. Even as a much larger country, teen population etc I find those numbers pretty jaw-dropping.

Safe haven laws make a lot of sense- I'd fo aa far as to include a facilty for the mother of a newborn to have a medical checkup without names being taken.

Thank you for sharing, I completely agree with you. Children shouldn’t be left in unsafe conditions because girls and women are too frightened to tell anyone. Likewise girls and women who are concerned about their of their babies safety should be able to have this option to keep themselves safe.

22,000 abandoned babies annually prompted the safe haven laws in the US as a means of discouraging frightened teen girls from dumping newborns in bins.
The UK has 16 abandoned babies annually, which is probably why it is not considered an urgent problem. When you include children the numbers jump to over 100.
Having a place supported by law where desperate parents can take their children is a good idea everywhere.