"Don't kink shame me!"

I think people who get off by acting out horrors that real people have been subjected to should feel shame about that, particularly the ones who inflict real pain on other people, whether they have consented to it or not.

Otherwise, as long as you keep it to yourself, meh.

mummy, why is that man crawling around on the ground dressed up like a dog

THAT'S A REAL DOG YOU LITTLE BIGOT!

If you’re in your bedroom or other private place with one or more consenting adult, fill your boots.

If you’re bringing your kink into the public domain, then you’re involving other people, including potentially children, in your sex life without their consent and you can fuck off to the outer suburbs of Fuckoffsville with that shite.

I really, really needed to read this. Having a shit day with work, people and life in general... It really cheered me up to read something that summarised how I feel so articulately. She writes bloody well, doesn't she?

I honestly feel it is none of my business what people get up to sexually in their own private homes providing all concerned are consenting and adult.

I believe that practices that come under the category of "kink" can be fun, playful and very enjoyable for some people. I also appreciate that some practices that can be defined as “kink” can be problematic for all kinds of reasons. Like so many things this is complex. I think there is a continuum, with playful, loving experimentation at one end and dangerous compulsive behaviour at the other.

I am becoming increasingly concerned about certain psychotherapists and mental health professionals who promote their "kink aware" "kink friendly" etc. credentials.

Some of them seem to be involved in sinister sex cults that also promote sex work as a spiritual path. This is deeply concerning.

I have no problem at all with people wanting to discuss their sexual fantasies and desires with a properly qualified psychotherapist. However I am concerned that, if a therapist is involved in a sex cult or otherwise abusive cult (and many are), that the confidentiality that their clients assume is there may not exist.

The psychotherapist concerned in such a situation may be, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly, harvesting compromising, sensitive information about people’s sexual fantasies and sexual lives. This can happen if a therapist’s clinical supervisor is in an abusive cult, even if the therapist themselves are not. Given that many people have fantasies that are to some extent contradictory to their outward lives, there is significant potential for people to be blackmailed and controlled once compromised.

With the above in mind I would like to share a video with readers here.

The video is on a strange youtube channel called London Real

It has recently had content removed for providing fake information about coronavirus and 5G conspiracies via an interview with David Icke

link to news article here
www.cnbc.com/2020/05/06/apple-spotify-david-icke-podcast.html

The video readers might be interested in is with the founder of the School of Life, the philosopher Alain de Botton. The School of Life ia a fascinating organisation with significant involvement from many psychotherapists of concern to me, including Valerie Sinason and her associates.

Camila Batmanghelidjh of Kids Company notoriety was also very involved with the School of Life at one point and has connections to Sinason et al.

Anyway here de Botton talks about unusual / unconventional sexual practices and fantasies, what are nowadays referred to as "kink"

My concern is not so much with his position on unPC sexual fantasies / activities but with the company he keeps in terms of the therapists involved with the SoL and with the youtube channel London Real

Readers who would like to check out just how weird London Real is, should check out the contributions from pseudo-Taoist controversial businessman and vaginal jade egg promoter “Grandmaster” Mantak Chia.

This one on "How to Master the Vagina" is comedy cold, the man has absolutely no idea about female anatomy

I’m of the school of parenting that has a good go at age-appropriate explanations for almost anything (and as Londoners, it’s essential), but faced with tubby rubber pups, I’d have nothing but “Cover your eyes, children! Walk quickly!”

The dog masks really are creepy looking. Imagining very woke parents trying to field loud "mummy, why is that man crawling around on the ground dressed up like a dog?" questions almost makes me feel sorry for them.

Those pups would’ve given me nightmares, had I encountered them as a child. Ugh.

Felt like JBurch was everywhere in the 90s/00s and I miss reading her.

I don't understand why gay men aren't putting up more of a fight against all the straight Emo kids dying their hair blue and calling themselves queer.

I suspect that the ones who have a media voice, are mainly young gay men who actually don't remember that there was a time they could be arrested and were viciously harassed by police. That if they got gay-bashed, they couldn't report it becuase the police would bash them as well.

They have no memory.

I don't understand why gay men aren't putting up more of a fight against all the straight Emo kids dying their hair blue and calling themselves queer.

I imagine they learned from the metrosexual fad of the early 2000s and wisely realised that the best way to deal with any fad is to let time take care of it. Alternatively, they may simply not care.

I know someone who is a nudist. He always says that the nudists he knows do their thing "indoors and only with like-minded others." The kinksters could do with listening to him.

If they insist on doing it in public that's another matter.

I agree.

The concept of 'kink shaming' implies either that people have a right to make the details of their sex lives public, or that it's somehow wrong to say 'no' to a particular activity during sex because it's a 'kink'. Both are very worrying.

Sorry my previous was a response to the mention of the Twitter spat! I was too taken aback to even remember to quote it. I saw the video and it was so good, so of course Twitter wanted to ruin it.
I haven't read the column yet but am looking forward to it, I deeply enjoy Julie Burchill.

WTF. There's not a chance in hell that any actual Irish people were getting outraged about the "cultural appropriation." So whoever was getting angry actually was speaking over and erasing the culture they claimed to be sticking up for, and should consider themselves a colonialist appropriator and get in the bin.

When two (or even more) people partner in a romantic relationship, their relationship becomes public because they often form a unit outside of just the bedroom. We see them shopping together, buying a home, caring for the other during sickness. Fighting for gay rights wasn’t about fighting for what people do in the bedroom, it was about fighting for that public relationship.

I don’t care what kinks people have as long as they remain between consenting adults. It should’t be possible for me to kink shame because I shouldn’t know what anyone is doing in the bedroom unless I am considering them as a partner. At that point if we don’t match up, we don’t become partners.

Twitter got outraged about cultural appropriation this week because a black American girl dared to Irish-dance

Seriously? I saw that video, thought she was really good. How ridiculous.

I don't think anyone should be shamed for what they do in private with other consenting adults.

If they insist on doing it in public that's another matter.

This line stood out for me and summarises so much of the issue
Don’t wear a crown that’s been paid for with the blood of others

Agree this is a great point. I don't understand why gay men aren't putting up more of a fight against all the straight Emo kids dying their hair blue and calling themselves queer. Twitter got outraged about cultural appropriation this week because a black American girl dared to Irish-dance (I only mention her colour because this seemed to provoke part of the outrage), but the appropriation of the entire LGB movement by straight twats seems to be fine with everyone apart from lesbians.

I’m all for kink-shaming. What you do with other consenting adults in private is you own business; stop expecting us to be interest or to validate it.

Be off-fucking with that nonsense.

I feel like this don’t kink shame me is actually disingenuous for kinksters. For the most part, kink happens when people’s erotic imaginations get tied to shame and fear. So if we all stopped shaming them they’d lose their appeal! When they scream “don’t shame me” behind a computer screen half of them are Furiously going at it because that’s exactly what they want... to be shamed.

Probably if everyone stopped shaming them they’d have to find something even more objectionable to do in order to get their jollies. Which indeed seems to be true given the increasing publicity of random weird and creepy sex.

Best thing that could happen is that they find a partner who is willing to pretend to be grossed out by whatever they do even though they are not (eg another kinkster). None of that requires they be in public doing their kinks. Involving random people in your kink is unethical because you can’t get consent.

(Last comment meant for a different thread, sorry for the wait what)