Trans Widows' Escape Committee 4 - A New Hope

It's a known fact that leaving a toxic workplace can lead to someone's eczema clearing up. Maybe living with the wrong person is a toxic workplace really; would it help to have that in one's mind as a fall-back position once one has decided that they are the wrong person?

(I cannot begin to express my sympathy for people stuck with poisonous.)

Spot on Southern. Some of moving on is about limiting the wasted time we spend thinking, wondering, reflecting... keep moving forward.

@QuinnMovesOn- too true.

I'm not going to allow him to take up any more of my time. And as little headspace as possible. I'm making plans for the divorce filing in the summer.

@sheitani, what was the topic of those deleted links?

@SouthernTW, as a dear friend told me when I was sad and angry over 20+ years of ultimately dysfunctional marriage coming to an end... "Better 16 years than 17, or 18, or..."

Just popping in.

Today is/would have been/should be (who knows what verb tense to use) my anniversary. Sixteen years of my life down the drain. Allowing myself to feel morose for a bit and then dusting myself off and planning a new life starting tomorrow.

I'm sad to see that the canceling of Transwidows' experiences.

I was looking at Part I when the post vanished. I'll store the links and I am quite likely to notice a message.

Even though it now seems MNHQ won't let us be even here on this thread.

Thank you for those links, sheitani

I don't really dare ask why - I've had a few deletions lately and I don't want to draw any more attention to myself.

In a way it just felt like the same thing my ex did and that's why it was triggering. Like there is this thing we both know it's true but I am not allowed to say it.

(I'm a name changer - I was threatened with doxxing last week)

I'm baffled. On a thread about a book about a sissy fetish I commented about the said thing and mentioned my lived experience. My whole post was maybe 3 sentences about how my ex admitted it was behind his transition, until he changed his mind - and my post was deleted in minutes. Are we now not allowed to talk about what we actually lived through?

I only dip in periodically to read these days (March is the month of my 6th trans-aversary, when my ex dropped his "I'm a woman in a man's body" bomb, and three years March I moved out), but I've been highly entertained by the "super straight" sub over at reddit, which is a declaration of sex-based sexual attraction. After my adventures with my ex's claim he was a lesbian, and that I was, too (when he wasn't asking me to act like an aggressive male and huffing out "I need you to fuck me!), this reddit sub has been a real tonic. One of the hardest things to recover from has been the hit I took to my sexuality and sense of myself as a sexual being.

Here's the background: Some poor 16 year old boy did a tik-tok video saying he was tired of being called transphobic because he didn't want to date transwomen, and didn't think of them as women, because, he said, he was "super straight." There's been a rallying around him around that "super-straight,", and all the sex-based attraction groups are chiming in: super straight, super lesbian, super gay, super bi. No surprise, the TRAs have threatened the kid, by threatening to kill his mother.

I've enjoyed reading the posts on reddit, with people parroting/parodying gender ideology/theory--some of them are very funny, and I thought that as you posted the transwidow flag, some of you might enjoy the reddit show.

@TinselAngel oh my now just like all the other super specific groups we have a flag! The light relief is welcome.

@socialworker222 ha are many of us getting out much these days?

@QuinnMovesOn just talking it out here helped loads because yes financially that would beyond dumb to jeopardize my employment. He’s not shown consistent regard for anything except himself.

@SouthernTW I do have one friend I can speak to in person from time to time that understands all that is going on. It’s been a help just just use the language that matches reality. The friend is also quite practical and can be on hand as per of the in-person support system that DC and I will need.

Working on the stress level. Reading more on how the body keeps score that is very eye opening. Stuff I would have brushed off a year ago that I don’t now!

@SeasideMaureen- i think just being in the situation at all heightens anxiety and makes it difficult to be able to tell up from down because quite literally that which is true is being characterized as the opposite. Do you have a close friend who can help you sort through each of these specific issues and help you put a realist perspective on their likelihoods?

@SeasideM, I also had concerns about my ex slandering me to my employer. This is a legitimate fear, but for me, it never happened. I think several things factored into that, including what you mentioned, that it would have been very financially disadvantageous for my ex to cause problems for me with my employer.

I also think my ex realized, in a rare moment of clarity, that my employer would be more sympathetic to me, despite all the politically correct platitudes about support for transgenderism. There's being trans and then there's being an asshole who also happens to be trans.

Understandable that you are hyper-anxious Seaside. I felt as if I couldn't breathe for weeks after my ex dropped the bombshell. I doubt any employer could act against you regarding your personal relationship. The 'transphobic'stuff is about going public with gender critical views. I keep my mouth shut at work, subtly ensure I influence where I can, support those causes anonymously or via a pseudonym.. so that nobody can ever accuse me of letting my personal experience of trans BS affect my work. I quite enjoy the subterfuge (I don't get out much ).
Blimey Tinsel that article is awful. Here's what you could have had Transwidows... a hideous, coercive, joyless sex life revolving around the self-absorption and priority needs of the bloke. No thanks