Hi, I could really do with your help.
My DD is nearly 14, she hangs out with a (seemingly nice) group of boys and girls her age.
A few months ago she got together with one of the boys. Again all fairly innocent, they always meet with the group and haven’t really been out alone. DD is fairly embarrassed about it all and doesn’t really want to talk about it.
I rightly or wrongly still check DDs phone from time to time.
Anyway, it seems (from checking messages) they’ve decided to split up and just be friends. Fairly mutual but more from him. Lots of talk from both of how it’s not the same now they can’t see each other, still love you, we can be good friends, let’s see how we feel after lockdown ends and we’ll maybe get back together.
All seems reasonable.
However talk then turned to DD not being keen to ‘wank him off’. He’s full of that’s fine, no pressure etc but then slips in that if she had done it they probably wouldn’t have split up. She then replied that although she doesn’t want to have sex until she’s 15 or 16, she might have done that.
I’m so bloody angry with this boy for manipulating her like this all with a smattering of ‘no pressure but...’
He’s coming across to her as a nice caring boy who would never pressure her and who loves her, but who basically has his needs and if she’s not going to fulfil them then they can’t be together.
Dd hasn’t mentioned any of this to me, not even them splitting up. He’s told her not to tell me until they’ve decided whether the split is final after lockdown.
I just read the thread about the man’s rights to expect sex from his wife and it’s made me so angry.
I want to talk to DD (and I think DS12 should hear it too) without her thinking i’ve read her messages. Was thinking if maybe starting by telling them about the thread in here and then moving onto how manipulating people is utterly unacceptable.
Any ideas of what I can say to a cringing 13 year old?
Sorry this is so long. Am so bloody mad/worried.