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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What constitutes modern day feminism

635 replies

katienlisa552 · 05/04/2020 10:45

What does it mean to be a feminist in the 21st century? When I and indeed the members of my family who I would consider to be feminist were growing up it was about fighting for equal rights for women such as equal pay and better representation of women in high powered jobs and given that the Labour Party has yet again elected a male leader says to me that there is still along way to go. However I and my family members find ourselves becoming more and more uncomfortable with what some might call the more extreme side of feminism.

I fear that certain views of feminism are allowing a rather unhealthy and quite hateful form especially in relation to trans rights. As a member of the lgbt community and although I’m not trans myself I do have friends who are and I also volunteer for a local charity who support and offer counselling to trans teenagers. I see first hand the damage done by the attitudes promoted and supported by some sections of the feminist community dressed up under the guise of ‘free speech’. The trans right issue is a complex one. I don’t think children should be allowed to transition or be given hormone blockers to prevent puberty because I’m not convinced a child has the maturity to make those kind of life changing decisions although that doesn’t mean I don’t believe that children can’t be trans because I see it everyday through my work with the charity and it’s a fact of great shame that at least 70% of young trans have self harmed or tried to commit suicide because of the prejudice they face.

The biggest contentious issue appears to be that of self indentification. I fail to see how it erodes my rights as a women if a trans person chooses to self identify and personally I find the notion that people chose to self identify because they want to harm others somewhat far fetched. Yes I accept that there are some sick indivuals that do this but the fact is the majority of sex offenders offend as men not men who are self identifying as female or the other wan around. I remember mixed sex changing rooms when I was growing up and I don’t remember a vast increase in sexual assay because of it.

Now despite being accused of it on here several times by people who hide behind the guise of feminism to attack anyone who dares to defend trans rights as someone who condones sexual assault I do not in fact as a surviour of sexual assault I find that extremely offensive. Anyone trans or otherwise who commits any kind of sexual assault deserves to be castrated and strung up. Maybe one way around the shared changing room or toilet issue would be to have single cubicles or toilets as we do at our charity so it doesn’t matter who uses them because there’s only u on there. As a parent and someone who works with children who have been absued I can totally understand the argument for parents wanting to know who the child is sharing a changing room with. Personally I wouldn’t allow my son or my nieces who I regularly look after our without a grown up until they were of teenager age and then allow in groups of friends.

I’ve no doubt that this post will either be ignored or removed as mums net seems to remove anything that resembles some who supports the rights of trans people but just as the people who use feminism to try and erode or stand Agasint trans rights I to have the right to express my opinion.

The debate of feminism and trans issues needs to be less toxic and more about open discussion and tolerance of others opinions will allowing healthy debate because trans people are people and have the same right to be heard and to be given the same freedoms as any other member of society. Do I think that all feminists are transphobic absolutely not and neither do I believe that all of the trans community min are good people. There’s good and bad in everyone and every group of society but since when is that a justification for the discrimination of a whole part of society

OP posts:
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MarieQueenofScots · 05/04/2020 13:19

You might want to be terribly woke and assert women can have penises.

I prefer to deal in the science of biology.

Fromage · 05/04/2020 13:18

What's your point, OP? Because your post is about trans issues, and your question is about the definition of feminism.

Maybe you could start two separate threads?

katienlisa552 · 05/04/2020 13:17

And how do trans rights erode your rights as a women it doesn’t people just use that as an excuse for bigotry

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MarieQueenofScots · 05/04/2020 13:16

Look on any lgbt plus website like stonewall and u will find plenty of stats that many of the lgbt plus community have self harmed

That isn’t what you said. You said at least 70% of young trans have self harmed or tried to commit suicide because of the prejudice they face

Can you please link to the study that reflects that stat.

R0wantrees · 05/04/2020 13:16

I don’t think children should be allowed to transition or be given hormone blockers to prevent puberty because I’m not convinced a child has the maturity to make those kind of life changing decisions although that doesn’t mean I don’t believe that children can’t be trans because I see it everyday through my work with the charity

So within your work you are affirming children as being transsexual but think they arent mature to consent to medical interventions? How many children do you affirm as being transsexual every day? What are the criteria which convince you of this?
(confirmation bias is a powerful force)

Have you considered the potential impact of on one hand affirming that a child (under 18) is transsexual whilst also asserting they are too 'immature' to consent to treatment?

What of the children you believe/affirm as transsexual who might resolve their distress during puberty & emerge as contented gender non conforming gay or lesbian young people?

Arty Morty's YouTube discussion, 'TRANS KIDS VS. GAY KIDS: The Battle Over Gender-Nonconforming Children' is worth watching & raises important questions for parents, carers & those working for LGBT children's groups:

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 05/04/2020 13:16

Look on any lgbt plus website like stonewall

Wouldn't trust any of Stonewall's stats, to be honest.

katienlisa552 · 05/04/2020 13:12

Look on any lgbt plus website like stonewall and u will find plenty of stats that many of the lgbt plus community have self harmed

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WrathofFaeKIopp · 05/04/2020 13:01

Working for charity, with children is a common phenomenon lately.

DickKerrLadies · 05/04/2020 12:57

I'm lazy so I'm going to c&p what I wrote on another similar thread the other day (with some additions from PertElla)

So far, women are now allowed to participate in the world as if they were men. The original system hasn't changed, but women are allowed to play too now. The world is still set up by men, for men.

If you act like a man would then you can play.

Except if you assert yourself like a man would.

Or continue to apply yourself to your career after having children, like a man would.

That, to me, is not true equality.

Proven by the fact that it's ok for a girl to be a tomboy, but society finds it much less acceptable the other way round. If females were seen as truly equal, that wouldn't be an issue. But while we still hear phrases such as 'run/throw/cry like a girl' I believe we have a way to go.

WrathofFaeKIopp · 05/04/2020 12:55

I fail to see how it erodes my rights as a women

As long as you're alright then.

aliasundercover · 05/04/2020 12:38

To me feminism is about ensuring women have the same opportunities as men.
Trans’women’ have nothing to do with feminism.

FFSFFSFFS · 05/04/2020 12:37

Feminism is about women.

Women don't have dicks.

HTH.

BlackForestCake · 05/04/2020 12:35

Everyone has the right to free speech. That means the teenagers at your charity have the right to pretend they are the opposite sex, you have the right to pretend you believe them, and we have the right to not have to pretend. Seems fair to me.

Absolutely correct that tolerance of others' opinions and open discussion are needed. Please tell that to the people who are assaulting women trying to attend political meetings, banging on the windows of political meetings, and trying to get people who disagree with them expelled from their political parties, banned from Twitter and sacked from their jobs.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 05/04/2020 12:23

Disingenuous post.

You’re not asking ‘what constitutes feminism?’, you’re telling gender critical feminists that they’re doing feminism wrong because they don’t believe that TWAW.

Totally agree.

HorseRadishFemish · 05/04/2020 12:17

Speaking strictly for me op, feminism starts with knowing what a woman is.

Ooh! That's a belter. I do hope OP will return to give his or her thoughts on that.

JellySlice · 05/04/2020 12:13

Buzzword bingo.

If you're bored during the holidays, do the work your teachers assigned you.

BringbackLang · 05/04/2020 12:12

Feminism is for women. You can't identify into being a woman, you become one being a female born child who grows to adulthood.

Now if you want to include men who identify as women in your 'feminism' then you should call your 'feminism' what it actually is and that it is egalitarianism. Stop trying to redefine some by calling it 'modern'.

LadyQuarantinaPluckington · 05/04/2020 12:09

It's an interesting question to ask 'What does it mean to be a feminist in the 21st century?' and I might have been interested in having a go at answering, but you asked the question and then wrote 5 paragraphs about Trans issues, which are as tangential to feminism as men's mental health issues, so I don't think you're really interested in feminism as it relates to women's rights.

Pass.

MarieQueenofScots · 05/04/2020 12:06

Your title is misleading. You’re actually starting a thread to tell people how they’re doing feminism wrong.

I’m a gender critical feminist. I have a problem with the erosion of female spaces, female sports etc.

stillathing · 05/04/2020 12:03

If you can't define the class of people feminism is about then it can't really be a thing. There is no group which includes all female people plus a few male people who identify as women that makes any logical sense in terms of describing disadvantages, needs, experiences etc. Any attempt to do so usually relies on outdated, superficial stereotypes that ignore structural issues and also exclude many females.

But remember feminism is not the only thing and most people are capable of caring about more than one issue: Humanity, animals, the climate. The struggle for racial equality. Structural disadvantages experienced by working class people. Disability rights. Homophobia. Ageism. Transphobia (the original meaning of the word).

No need for anyone to feel excluded just because the class of female humans continue to organise to fight for the rights of all females.

midgebabe · 05/04/2020 11:22

I have no problem with how people want to identify and present themselves

I totally get the difficulty of growing up into a sexed body that you abhor

Yet at the same time I can totally understand the difference between sex and gender.

Sex. Immutable, externally observable

Sex based rights are not trans based rights and should not be confused .

All are forms of human rights designed to ensure that all people can participate fully and fairly in society.

Floisme · 05/04/2020 11:21

Speaking strictly for me op, feminism starts with knowing what a woman is.

Helmetbymidnight · 05/04/2020 11:19

I fail to see how it erodes my rights as a women if a trans person chooses to self identify

yes, i appreciate you cant see that men identifying as women and having access to any womens single sex spaces including refuges, changing rooms and sports erodes our rights but fortunately most of us can see and will argue/act accordingly.

OneEpisode · 05/04/2020 11:16

So from the op
I remember mixed sex changing rooms when I was growing up and I don’t remember a vast increase in sexual assay because of it.
And also www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html
just one article for the OP, there are lots more on google.

MrsSnippyPants · 05/04/2020 11:16

These children you see who are 'trans'. Can you explain what makes them 'trans' without resorting to any masculine and feminine stereotypes?

We'll wait........

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