Women refused permission to WFH while kids are off school

The ridiculous bit is expecting people to work shifts because they have children and this crisis to have zero impact on business. My work fortunately are being understanding, that with the best will in the world, if you have a tiny house and a clingy four year old and 8 year old having to do school work with deadlines from teachers, no one is going to get the same level as work done as in the office. It's all very well saying mum and dad should work shifts, but what about single parent families? Or people with lots of children of different ages and not much space? I'm sick of people pretending we can make this normal. It's not.

You utterly misunderstand me. I’m very sorry about that, and that you have been offended.

Oddly enough my employer doesn’t have a straight or gay register, so they’d have no idea who I do or don’t live it.

@SimonJT - oh Christ, I was worried afterwards you'd take it that way. I'm glad it was done in an online survey though. What I meant was in straight couples it's much much more common for employers to assume women are going to do the juggling. There was a tweet the other day from a woman teacher, married to a teacher, with a sick son. She had done the first three days and when he rang to say he'd be off that day, his school asked how many days his wife had done - the assumption being she should be putting herself out first.

@Longtalljosie Everyone was asked via an online survey, I have no idea what sexuality has to do it it

@margoletta It’s okay, nothing wrong with being mistaken with a woman

@SimonJT - yes, you are a male colleague, but I think the question still applies - did other male colleagues in heterosexual relationships have to provide proof of childcare, or was it assumed because there was a woman at home the question was answered?

Both me and Dh are working from home full time bit have very understanding employers. We are both sharing childcare and home learning but we were pretty equal before all of this happened. I think those who had unequal relationships will see that amplified in the current situation.

My neighbour is taking it to the next level of selfishness... He's a builder so isn't working but every morning he packs his bike in his car and disappears for hours then when he returns he straps on a rucksack and goes running. All this while his wife is at home with two school aged children.

Most solicitors are open but working remotely. There is a limit on what they can do as the civil courts and the Land Registers are closed.

Other work for the likes of corporate/building projects/ renewable energy projects is continuing.

@SimonJT apologies for my assumptions!

I'm currently trying to wfh with a toddler. It's not working. Dh was told he would be furloughed and signed docs to say he agreed. We thought all our problems were solved until his work decided to unfurligh him and keep him as skeleton staff. He's asked for some flexibility for childcare but they've refused. So now I'm stuck having told my employer I'd have childcare when I now don't and am terrified of loosing my job because I can't do it all. And it's just accepted that I will sort it and dh's employer can just say no. If my employer just say no too we are fucked. But there's no consideration for that. I litterally don't know what we are going to do. Like pp said, employers are panicking because this is now a longer term thing so they're asking for every second to be accounted for.

@DroppedBoxxedRuth My boyfriend is looking after (being terrorised) by him when I’m working. I did 2 hour shifts last week with at least thirty minutes between each one to give my boyfriend a break, that worked fairly well.

Of course more men are WFH than women because of basic demographics.

1. More men are in work than women as a % of working age men/women
2. More fathers are in work than mothers as a % of fathers/mothers

So even if everything is done fairly, you cannot avoid having more men WFH than women because more men are in work than women to begin with.

@stella1know furlough is like kurzarbeit.

@SimonJT how are your DC being looked after?

There are so many assumptions - first is that both partners are able to WFH, then yes of course, there should be parity with the children.

But most households I know, there is a partner who works shifts, and relies on one partner who is able to WFH, so think some companies are starting to get a bit nervous that this will go on for more than 3 weeks so are trying set some boundaries which clearly aren't going to work, such as withdrawing people working from home or implementing a diary of all work activities.

I'm desperate to work from home as I have no other childcare options but for me to look after my daughter. They won't let me though so I am having to take all my annual leave then go onto unpaid leave so I will really struggle to pay rent and bills.

@stella1know It's basically being stood down from work but without your contract being ended. You can't do other paid work.

But the problem is that you need to tell your manager how you are doing the childcare with your partner. It is very difficult with younger children and getting furloughed might be the best solution for some.

I find this sickening. I am in Germany and everyone who can is encouraged to work from home. There is a clear understanding that there is no childcare. You aren’t allowed to visit the grandparents nor to dump kids on them. To differentiate between men and women, or to require information about childcare would be clear discrimination and wouldn’t be tolerated by law. but we have rather good employment laws here and you can’t just sack people (except if the business collapses but there are still wage payment obligations even then) That said, parents are super stressed here too when both are wfh, but without the constant threat of being sacked it is slightly less extreme than the UK.
Can someone explain furloughed to me?

I am a male colleague.

@SimonJT we're your male colleagues that are parents asked to do the same?

@DidoLamenting Long story, hasn't worked, hence divorce sought. At least the children and I are safe, many others in similar situations are openly abused verbally and/or physically. We're safe until I can leave.

Where people in my team have young children and a home working partner I expect them to work out a childcare schedule with the other parent & to keep revisiting & reviewing it. Male or female.

Dropping an hour or so here and there is fine.

I think there are also many other families where both parents are WFH but the woman is doing all the home learning, child wrangling as well as her job whilst the man just works.

This. Currently my colleague is working only when her child naps, but her husband presumably works his normal hours. 🙄