Mermaids is encouraging children to hide online searches from their parents

'And what we can also do is discuss the shortcomings of the Mermaids approach on a parenting site so that other parents can be aware of the multiple concerns around the operations and ethics of Mermaids.'

You're right, perhaps an AIBU thread would raise greater awareness as oppose to this particular section where many already have an opinion about Mermaids.

' As far as I'm aware she is self-taught when it comes to gender issues.'

I can only imagine her experience of having had a trans child who turned into a happy adult drives her opinions. Like you though, I often think the same about some of the prominent commentators from both sides of the divide.

Resources for parents/carers whose children are questioning their gender identity:

www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/

www.transgendertrend.com/

4thwavenow.com/

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

And what we can also do is discuss the shortcomings of the Mermaids approach on a parenting site so that other parents can be aware of the multiple concerns around the operations and ethics of Mermaids.

Parents /carers have the core Safeguarding responsibility for their children.

Forgive me for being dense, but given that you said you are “trans and same sex attracted” and your clarification is ” Of course, I'm a trans woman (male) I am sexually attracted to men. Does that help?”

I honestly don’t know if you were born male but now present as female and are attracted to men, or if you were born female, now present as male and are attracted to men.

I can read it both ways! I think because people use the same words to mean different things it gets really confusing.

If people have a genuine concern then perhaps it would just make sense to report it to someone who is in a formal position to address and report back on that concern

And what we can also do is discuss the shortcomings of the Mermaids approach on a parenting site so that other parents can be aware of the multiple concerns around the operations and ethics of Mermaids.

There is a broad spectrum between “acceptance” and “abuse”, and it helps nobody, least of all vulnerable children who may identify as trans, to obscure and obfuscate that distinction. Mermaids, among many other things that they do not understand, do not understand that.

'With many children’s centres, nurseries, libraries and youth services closed down or cut, “there will be the best part of 1 million children who have needed a social worker in the past three years now becoming invisible to professionals, just as their families come under unprecedented strain”, adds Longfield.'

If you are confident that it is not a safeguarding concern they need to hear about at the moment then I'll leave it to you.

You're right, R0wantrees, of course. I was focussing on IT because it is the one area relevant to Mermaids' sphere of operations where SG has some relevant work experience. As far as I'm aware she is self-taught when it comes to gender issues.

I don't know what level of professional qualifications she has but the massive data breach last year suggested that whoever looks after Mermaids' IT systems was not up to the job.

It wasnt just a data breach, what was demonstrated was lack of standard good practice in sharing personal information about children & families within the organisation.

Mermaids don't understand Safeguarding.

'Not to dismiss your distress.....but who was forcing you into a box? And what did that box resemble? I'd suggest that a good many of us reject being forced into boxes...and struggle with them all of our lives....Boxes of different shapes and sorts. Discovering our selves means rejecting boxes.'

To answer your question, my parents forced me into a box or at least tried to force me into a box. The box resembled telling them what I was and them firstly hoping it was just a phase and then actively trying to make it go away. I rejected the box and discovered myself so i'm mindful to agree with your last comment.

I've just had a go and it does not wipe the browser like certain sites do, making it impossible to track they've been on.

So if a parent has suspicions then all they have to do is click backspace or look in the browser history... seems somewhat obsolete.

Doesn't surprise me. Ms Green used to work as an IT manager for the Citizens' Advice Bureau, I believe. I don't know what level of professional qualifications she has but the massive data breach last year suggested that whoever looks after Mermaids' IT systems was not up to the job.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48652970

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3613168-Data-breaches-by-Mermaids-exposed-in-the-Times

To think that social services aren't always managing a complex child protection situation is perhaps naive. Their current workload is likely complicated and increased by the Covid-19 emergency.

There is no 'likely complicated' about it.
It is not simply about workload it is about increased actual risk of harm to already very vulnerable children.

(extract)
"Children’s commissioner for England Anne Longfield estimates that up to 2.3 million children in England are at significant risk, on the very edge of coming to social services’ attention – but not currently getting help.

There will be [foster] placement breakdowns because of [Covid-19]
Jane Collins, director of the Independent Foster Carers Alliance
“These children are in families that are already unstable, and this crisis is going to put them under even more pressure,” says Longfield. “For these children, school tends to provide one, and often two, hot meals a day; it provides structure and support from peers and teachers, and gives professionals direct line of sight to children, with a well-established escalation procedure. All this is lost if a child isn’t in school, and, even with the government’s announcement, most won’t be.”

With many children’s centres, nurseries, libraries and youth services closed down or cut, “there will be the best part of 1 million children who have needed a social worker in the past three years now becoming invisible to professionals, just as their families come under unprecedented strain”, adds Longfield.

Even for those children who are in care, stability cannot be guaranteed. Foster carers are increasingly anxious about the capacity of the system to support them when social workers – already a scarce resource – fall ill or self-isolate. “There will be [foster] placement breakdowns because of this situation,” says Jane Collins, director of the Independent Foster Carers Alliance." (continues)
www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/25/coronavirus-puts-vulnerable-uk-children-greater-risk-campaigners-warn

I take it you are not a parent? It is the primary job of parents to deal with children. You don't run off to experts at every little bump, bruise or upset. And Teenagers are often moody, sullen and uncommunicative - often framing their identity in opposition to their parents, or certainly in response to them.

Of course you don't need to run to experts at the drop of a hat however, this thread is making an issue over a safeguarding concern. If people have a genuine concern then perhaps it would just make sense to report it to someone who is in a formal position to address and report back on that concern.

This demonstrates a lack of undersatnding about Safeguarding.
Social Services at present is managing complex Child Protection.

To think that social services aren't always managing a complex child protection situation is perhaps naive. Their current workload is likely complicated and increased by the Covid-19 emergency.

Personally, I would not have the confidence to not tell them if I had a safeguarding concern about children based on my own opinions about how busy they may or not be. I'm confident I'm not unique in having that particular lack of confidence.

Being trans is also a feeling I have measurable by the distress I displayed at being forced into a particular box and medical and surgical treatments I have had to reduce that distress

Not to dismiss your distress.....but who was forcing you into a box? And what did that box resemble? I'd suggest that a good many of us reject being forced into boxes...and struggle with them all of our lives....Boxes of different shapes and sorts. Discovering our selves means rejecting boxes.

I understand your concern about the current pressures. However, personally if I had a concern about children, I would report it and let the professionals triage what they are going to deal with as a priority

I take it you are not a parent? It is the primary job of parents to deal with children. You don't run off to experts at every little bump, bruise or upset. And Teenagers are often moody, sullen and uncommunicative - often framing their identity in opposition to their parents, or certainly in response to them.

I understand your concern about the current pressures. However, personally if I had a concern about children, I would report it and let the professionals triage what they are going to deal with as a priority.

This demonstrates a lack of undersatnding about Safeguarding.
Social Services at present is managing complex Child Protection.

'Being same sex attracted is a measurable reality........whereas many would argue that identifying as trans is a mind set'.

Both are measurable realities. Being same sex attracted is a feeling I have, measurable only by who i enter into relationships with. Being trans is also a feeling I have measurable by the distress I displayed at being forced into a particular box and medical and surgical treatments I have had to reduce that distress. Only the former had anything to do with my sexual urges.

'Social Services have an enormous responsibility at the moment to protect the most vulnerable children who are at heightened risk of actual abuse & harm and/or meet complex needs due to illness & disability.'

I understand your concern about the current pressures. However, personally if I had a concern about children, I would report it and let the professionals triage what they are going to deal with as a priority.

However, neither are a choice and I think it is nice to see that the minute number (incidence wise) of trans children in a similar position today, aren't left with no other option than being left to the mercy of people who, in their hope for it to be a phase can at times cause far more harm than good

Being same sex attracted is a measurable reality........whereas many would argue that identifying as trans is a mind set, or a way of framing one's feelings about oneself. Nothing to do with biological sex or with sexual orientation and attraction, except, perhaps, in the case of AGP in which the sexual urge is turned inwards towards oneself as an object of one's own desire.

I can see the positives and the negatives of this.

However, I've just had a go and it does not wipe the browser like certain sites do, making it impossible to track they've been on.

So if a parent has suspicions then all they have to do is click backspace or look in the browser history... seems somewhat obsolete.

Of course, if there is a genuine concern about safeguarding with regards to this particular issue, then social services and the police like the National Lottery previously would likely be interested to hear about it and be well placed to look into it.

Social Services have an enormous responsibility at the moment to protect the most vulnerable children who are at heightened risk of actual abuse & harm and/or meet complex needs due to illness & disability.

The messaging by Mermaids & others demonstrates a failure to understand their Safeguarding responsibilities.

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/25/coronavirus-puts-vulnerable-uk-children-greater-risk-campaigners-warn

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/23/uks-emergency-coronavirus-bill-will-put-vulnerable-at-risk

'Would you be kind enough to explain what that means?'

Of course, I'm a trans woman (male) I am sexually attracted to men. Does that help?

The whole concept of 'being trans' is, itself, relatively new.

That isn't a widely held opinion. See below.

web.ncf.ca/fm120/Trans/History/Chapter_2-Trans-People.pdf

Being both trans and same sex attracted..

Would you be kind enough to explain what that means?

Being both trans and same sex attracted, I agree wholeheartedly that although both are what I am as oppose to what I do, they are not the same. As my mother explained to me on numerous occasions 'no one had to know I was gay' and she was amongst a minority who hoped both were a phase.

However, neither are a choice and I think it is nice to see that the minute number (incidence wise) of trans children in a similar position today, aren't left with no other option than being left to the mercy of people who, in their hope for it to be a phase can at times cause far more harm than good.

Of course, if there is a genuine concern about safeguarding with regards to this particular issue, then social services and the police like the National Lottery previously would likely be interested to hear about it and be well placed to look into it.