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Original poster

How? How can we tell girls we care THIS little about them? TRIGGER WARNING - abuse and rape

35 replies

ThisSistineWontScreamAtItself · 07/03/2020 20:00

My god. My fucking god. How?

I'm a victim of rape as an adult, not a child. The way adult victims are treated is horrendous.

The way child victims are treated is equally and if not more (even as an adult I don't know if that's ok to say - I don't know what is ok to say anymore and I'm always scared to say anything for fear of being told I am being over dramatic / biased etc) repulsive and makes my heart even heavier.

Eleven years? When he has ADMITTED the charges? How are these our sentencing guidelines? How can this be?

I often feel just in grief for what is happening.

I'm aware this doesn't just happen to girls of course and it is equally as terrible for males who go through the same - I am just speaking in the feminism thread because I feel it's vital that society recognised the value they place on young women is so unbelievable from childhood onwards.

My heart breaks every time I read these stories.

www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/senior-teacher-who-filmed-himself-1858669

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisSistineWontScreamAtItself · 07/03/2020 20:48

Thank you all so much for replying about that. I've been carrying around shame and a strange sense of disloyalty that I feel that way about having girls. I feel like however much I was to empower them I'm not confident I can protect them. Sorry I'm using this thread as therapy and that other people have been through awful stuff too and feel the same x

OP posts:
blubellsarebells · 07/03/2020 20:44

I have one son and as awful as i know it is to say, im glad ive not got daughters.
The world is just too much of a shitty place for women right now.
Although if i had one daughter instead of a son i could think about joining a women's commune and going all out seperatist so that would be nice

Languishingfemale · 07/03/2020 20:43

It is frightening Alonelonelyloner being a parent of daughters. Although being a parent and looking round at the world generally can be pretty frightening. Flowers

Alonelonelyloner · 07/03/2020 20:28

I was raped when I was 12. And then later when older.

As an adult I did exactly wish fervently to never have daughters because I'd be too scared.

I now have daughters and yes I am scared.

Original poster
ThisSistineWontScreamAtItself · 07/03/2020 20:17

*they mention

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisSistineWontScreamAtItself · 07/03/2020 20:16

The mention that he was previously a respected person.

No, he was previously still a rapist. It just wasn't known he was a rapist.

Every day. Every day I am aghast at shit like this.

Eleven years?

People say well they have to work in sentencing guidelines. I appreciate that is a fact.

But that doesn't mean those guidelines shouldn't be changed?!

And then people say it's not as simple as that, it takes years to change them.

Yes. I fucking know. So let's start now, or we are just going to be further and further away from getting it right?!

What's even the point now. I am so tired of trying to shout about these things.

It's exhausting.

Have any other survivors of rape got to the point where they hope they don't have girls when they have kids?

I've never said that outside my own head before. I love children. I desperately want to be a mum. I aim to inspire and empower every young woman I meet. Yet I feel like that.

What a waste. What could have been.

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 07/03/2020 20:10

It's horrific. And it fills me with anger that the remorse he feels appears to be all for himself, and that the media report it all so sympathetically. 'He has lost everything'. Well, so he bloody should. Do you know who else has lost everything? His victim. And the perpetrator's family. They've lost everything too. But no, it's all about his fall from grace and how terrible it is for him.

CalleighDoodle · 07/03/2020 20:08

He got 11 years.

Languishingfemale · 07/03/2020 20:05

So sorry OP. You are not alone in being horrified on a daily basis at what some men do to women and girls. No wise words - just a shared disgust at men like this.

FemiLANGul · 07/03/2020 20:03

Fucking hell Angry

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