Men whistling loudly

I hate whistling. Some men have to make their presence known.

When I've encountered it, the whistling and/or humming seems more like a way of keeping himself company, self-generated background music, as it were.

What's irritating about it is that he's not thinking about its effect on you, whether it's territory marking or anything else. He's doing his own thing and you don't exist.

The obliviousness of extreme privilege. Accompanied always by surprise and hurt at being misunderstood ("I was just whistling! Jeesus. Get a life.") when one of the background nonentities insists on being considered.

@Thisismytimetoshine these are just random blokes on the train, not my acquaintances.

And it's not whistling, it's whistling in inappropriate places. But perhaps I've been in London too long where the objective is to fade into the crowds.

I think that back up the idea that women shouldn't draw attention to themselves in public or try to own the space - but it's fine and right for men to do so.

So would you then advocate that women whistle more often?

I think many of the posts on here are the reason feminism gets a bad name / not taken seriously.

Yes.

Some of the comments on here are man bashing. Weird to say it’s practically only men who whistle and bizarre to think its power play.

You seem to associate with cretins, Busy. No men of my acquaintance huff and puff until I ask them what’s troubling them. I’m not buying that it’s a male “thing”.

Or that whistling is about taking up space.

auldcraw

As the comments on say "Comedy gold"

I liked the point about halfway through where someone asked what exactly were they talking about and voting on.

I agree with the poster. Whistling in public is about taking up space. I know it's not a conscious strategy, but it really does signify that someone has taken ownership of the public realm. I really don't mind it out on the street, anonymous, etc, but once you start getting into confined spaces, it's dominating.

Other things I find annoying that men do to dominate space:

• huffing/puffing/sighing loudly. This happens a lot on trains. Guy clearly wants attention and clearly expects me to ask. I don't.
• playing music (usually men but not always)
• taking up space. Manspreading. I do it back to retaliate. This happens a lot in meetings and the workplace. Displays of entitlement. Think of Jacob Reese-Mogg lying across the front bench.

Just wondering what kind of men most of the posters on here can bear to be around. Is there a type that is acceptable/inoffensive, or are all men just basically really annoying?

If you need light entertainment for IWD and haven't seen the DSA 2019 Convention Highlights please watch.

Only serious note the young woman at the podium should get a medal for patiance, she can barely get a sentence out with out being shouted over by the woke blokes at the end of this clip.

What is this tilting to one side *lark?
*

Apologies.

The original comment tickled me.

Oh, right. I thought so, but I’ve seen it twice on the thread so wondered what I was missing!

Not sure if the 2nd poster was being serious. If she was, it kind of proves the point of the first poster though.

Yep someone at work does it and it feels very territorial, I detest it. I'd lay money he doesn't do it when he's in a private space of his own like a car.

You what, Regina?? Was that a joke too? . Beginning to feel a bit lost here, people are weird...

Oh, right. I thought so, but I’ve seen it twice on the thread so wondered what I was missing!

I think it’s cultural. I’ve only ever seen older native British men doing it. If someone did this in the setting of my cultural background they’d probably be taken for a psychiatric evaluation.

What is this tilting to one side lark? Do some men really do this, or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

I think a pp said it as a joke because of how ridiculous this thread is. I think she said that people could say a man did anything and posters would jump on and agree how awful it is. She then said "leaning to one side".

You could use breathing, scratching their head - any innocent gesture.

or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

I think it's a joke. A poster upthread said that she could come on mumsnet and say absolutely anything about men and that she finds it annoying, and loads of people would agree eg saying that men all tilt to one side just to show their dominance over women. I think that's what she meant anyway.

What is this tilting to one side lark? Do some men really do this, or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

Unlike Layla Moran I can't look into peoples hearts and know mens intentions. I think we should draw a line where there are deleberate acts intended to impose dominance such as expecting you to move out of the way on the pavement, manspreading where there is adequate leg room, repeatedly being talked over, and so on. I really don't think you can put whistling into this category - though i do agree it can be annoying.

I whistle classical tunes on the way to work. I’m not a man lol 😂

I don’t think we should categorise it as a male thing. If someone asked me not to I would stop whistling in their presence but I’d expect them to ask politely as whistling is a cheery disposition mode.

I’m mildly autistic and have severe PTSD and I can’t stand people whistling. I’m hyper-vigilant so any loud noises put me on edge, and most noises make me feel overwhelmed. It doesn’t even have to be noise, actually, if someone is shaking their foot in my field of vision I can’t concentrate and get irritated. It’s nobody’s fault and people aren’t doing it deliberately or even consciously - I shake my foot sometimes - that’s just the way I am.

I was brought up to make as little noise and take up as little space as possible. I sneeze silently, try to breathe quietly when I’m exercising, have a very quiet voice and a pathological fear of hearing my own singing voice, my phone is always on silent, I’m always trying to make myself small and silent. I don’t think whistling is a deliberate act of passive-aggression but it does seem to be an expression of the reverse of believing that any noise you make will irritate people and that you shouldn’t take up physical and aural space, which is my attitude. It’s not fun or healthy, but there it is.

About sneezing, sneezing is a physiological response to a stimulus which tells you that you need forcibly to expel something which is irritating your nasal passages, so suppressed sneezes are effectively pointless and increase pressure inside your body. You don’t have to voice sneezing, though. Anyone who shouts when they sneeze or says “achoo!” doesn’t actually need to. It’s like grunting at the gym (which in my experience is entirely men doing it and is very annoying to the women).

Agreed - my dad whistled, now passed. A gentle man and much missed

Gentlemen don’t whistle. What a load of tosh.

It's always men leisurely going round the shops, whistling some cringey tune. They normally try and catch your eye, as they're waiting for you to nod and smile approvingly. I always studiously ignore