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Original poster

I've just come out of a work event - LGBT terminology and pronouns... and lesbian erasure

65 replies

W0nderW0man · 25/02/2020 15:21

Earlier today I attended a panel discussion put on by my company to discuss LGBT terminology and pronouns. I know that I'd come away raging from the wokeness, but I came away raging!

There were reps from other woke organisations to talk about how they do things, and one of them brought along awareness guides to help us deal with/relate to to members of the community. There was a 'Gay Awareness Guide'. a 'Bisexual Awareness Guide' and a 'Transgender Awareness Guide'. Lesbians apparently do not deserve a guide. Confused

One organisation had a very vocal rep, who was so proud of their % of NB and trans in the workforce and suggested that every workplace should have targets for employing NB/Trans people! Do we get extra points for employing people who are trans and gay and from an ethnic minority?

The same rep also flippantly talked about their organisation's Twitter being trolled over the weekend after someone 'accidentally' posted a meme saying 'Cher hates TERFS'. It was those pesky lesbians that don't believe TWAW getting all het up apparently.

That was pretty much the first and last time that lesbians were mentioned.

We had the pleasure of a transwoman transplaining to us how important pronouns are whilst waving her hand around in an attempt to look more feminine.

I'm surprised that my eyeballs didn't fall out, they were rolling so much. The only positive moment was in the lift as we were leaving, a group of us stood in stunned silence until I asked if anyone else was bothered by the lesbian erasure and I could see the GC glint in several eyes! We may not all feel able to speak up, but it is gratifying to see that more and more people are peaking.

OP posts:
vaginafetishist · 25/02/2020 18:32

Don't worry about being labelled a terf, accept your terfitude, you're in good company.

vaginafetishist · 25/02/2020 18:30

I'm not represented by 'gay' either.

Original poster
W0nderW0man · 25/02/2020 17:44

Oulu - I read through the guide and it was specifically about gay men. I wouldn't have minded too much if it was lumping the L in with the G, although I'd have still had a grumble about leaving it off the front page!

OhHolyJesus - it wasn't a mandatory session, but it was suggested that mandatory training is in the pipeline. I will ask HR about their stance on TWAW and female rights though!

BigFatLiar - cis straights were indeed not represented! Unless the comments about the straights assuming others are straight as default counts! Wink

stumbledin thanks for that idea about sending the link to the LGB Alliance site to the committee.

I did fire off a quick email to the guy who is our local point of contact to ask if he noticed the lesbian erasure. He has replied to say that he did notice the 'mention of ongoing dispute between parts of the community' and mention of TERFS, but it he didn't 'interpret it as a direct attack on lesbians'. He has admitted that maybe it would have been a good idea to have a lesbian (and a bisexual), rather than just 2 straight (1 of whom was oh-so-woke) women, 2 gay men and a transwoman on the panel!

OP posts:
stumbledin · 25/02/2020 17:19

If you do feel able to email maybe give them a link to the LGB Alliance web site to point out that despite media coverage, most people do not accept that trans, non binary let alone intersex are the same as being someone who is same sex attracted.

Ask if they will put on an event that talks about people who are same sex attracted and how to avoid appearing homophobic by inviting in someone who erases the reality of lesbianism and homosexuality.

Melroses · 25/02/2020 17:13

I would complain about the style and lack of participation.

SomeDyke · 25/02/2020 17:04

My lesbian friends are perfectly happy to be described as gay without needing a separate guide all to themselves.
I'm not. Why forget the L in the LGB...?

Plus many people still take 'gay' as short for 'gay men'. Whereas lesbian is a specific name which applies only to women with specific historical associations which go back a lot further than the use of 'gay'. Why (further) erase womens history?

Plus there are (many) issues specific to gay men that don't include lesbians and vice versa.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 25/02/2020 16:57

My lesbian friends are perfectly happy to be described as gay without needing a separate guide all to themselves.

And yet I can't imagine gay men being content with being offered the choice of a 'Lesbian Awareness Guide'. a 'Bisexual Awareness Guide' and a 'Transgender Awareness Guide'.

BigFatLiar · 25/02/2020 16:26

Were hetrosexuals represented? Soon with all the groups being represented they'll be the minority Smile

OhHolyJesus · 25/02/2020 16:11

Was this a mandatory session OP?

If so I would ask in the email if the company was taking the TWAW position and if there was any discussion involving female employees before takin the decision (as their choice of outsourced panel presenters indicates such) and that you noticed the lesbian erasure. It might be something that HR weren't fully aware of how full on it was going to be.

(personally I'm really sick of the term T*RF being thrown around as if that is meant to make us fear reprisals and shut us up. I realise it's a serious problem and there can be a serious impact, particularly when it comes to employment, but I do think it's a slur and designed to create fear and if accused of such you can refer to the judge on the Fair Cop case etc).

dragonlangx · 25/02/2020 16:07

damn it cross posted with others.

I would suggest an email asking why there was no Lesbian awareness guide and see what they say

dragonlangx · 25/02/2020 16:05

Are you going to ask your company why lesbians were not included?

Oulu · 25/02/2020 15:52

My lesbian friends are perfectly happy to be described as gay without needing a separate guide all to themselves.

Original poster
W0nderW0man · 25/02/2020 15:42

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt - it was a panel discussion so there wasn't much audience participation and once Vocal Rep made it clear about her attitude towards GC women I think we all felt uncomfortable speaking up!

I want to email the company LGBT committee with my concerns .... any suggestions to come across as concerned about female/lesbian erasure without being branded a TERF?!

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 25/02/2020 15:30

Then more they push with greater and greater demands the more people get pissed off.

Ever seen those YouTube videos of a puppy poking a napping dog? They get nipped eventually and put back in their place when good grace runs out.

People just have to start saying no. Last year some colleagues tried to get me to run some LGBT promo initiatives at work.

I refused - I asked how it fitted in with our programme of raising the profile of disability inclusion, of modern slavery, child abuse, domestic violence... y’know, the grim, real issues. I wasn’t going to slap a rainbow flag on the website if it excluded women.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 25/02/2020 15:27

Did anyone raise your points about the lack of lesbian inclusion? What did they say?