Help me make the case to DD’s school about gendered loos!

Those toilets seem nice. If you complain they might just make all loo gender neutral.

If you are a parent that doesn’t support the school much then rock up with a complaint like that it will go down like a lead balloon. If you go in positively with your solution in place that’s good.

If you paint yourself be very careful my friend picked up a nasty skin infection from our painting day. No good deed unpunished!

I think the OP has said she & some other parents are willing to get the paint & do the painting

I wouldn’t mention the gender stereotype issue just say you’re happy to help freshen them up

God you are lucky they are sex segregated. Why not offer to slap on a cot of paint or get some of those wall stickers? Schools just don’t have the money. What would you suggest doing?

I agree with PPs about being very cautious to avoid getting backs up.

That said, I do think that unpicking these stereotypes at a young age is really important. It's great that you are willing to do something about it and, if put in a helpful way, most heads would appreciate the offer.

Just put stick boys and girls on the doors if it's such a big deal to you.

I wouldn't like it because it'd make me wonder what else was "gendered". I think if that's all there is too it, it's not so bad. I'd probably want to check their policy on it because it could cause problems for my DS.

Both my boys have long hair and love rainbows and pink. They naturally approach and make friends with girls.Youngest is in Nursery, absolutely loves Skye from Paw Patrol atm, and is eating his dinner of a pink plate with her on! - I would hate to think he was encouraged away from what he likes.

Eldest is used to it all now and happily and confidently corrects people. He shouldn't hate to though.

Just get in touch with the head and say you think the toilets need a refresh and as parents your are willing to raise the funds and do the painting yourselves

Aye, this. I wouldn't lead with a criticism about gendered pictures, I'd suggest the loos need a bit of sprucing up, offer services as a kind gesture, then add plenty of lovely bright pics as required. Easier and more likely to get a result than raising the issue of gender-coding, really.

I'd also suggest using low VOC paints. More expensive, but far better for kids' health.

Pink rocket stickers: www.stickerscape.co.uk/product/pink-flying-rocket-wall-sticker/?attribute_pa_size=regular-size&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpLGspqPq5wIVArDtCh0FWAaAEAQYASABEgJo7fD_BwE

Blue butterflies:

www.stickerscape.co.uk/product/classic-butterfly-wall-stickers/?attribute_pa_colour=marina-blue&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1N3btqPq5wIVybTtCh3TdwCBEAQYAiABEgJLX_D_BwE

Job done. HTH.

Does it really matter? If I need a toilet I like it to be clean but have little interest in the decor.

Is there an issue with that?....

Well my DC would have loved that as she struggled going to the toilet for a long time. Having butterflies wound have made her more likely to go in........

Are you for real? I envy your life and school if the toilet decorations are your biggest issue 🙄

Serious question, exactly why do you want to get it changed? Or do you just want it taken down full stop?

I know it's 2020, but seriously, this is mad.

What great evil do you think they are going to come by with having pink and blue toilets?

Some PTA groups sometimes help out with things like this - I heard of a call to arms for volunteers to spend a weekend painting classrooms from a couple of schools. If you really feel the need to have the decs changed OP perhaps change things that way?

I agree on picking your battles though. You can teach your own DC about this at home. Save your breath for the introduction of gender neutral toilets, for example.

I know this is a bit out there but (assuming it’s primary school) maybe it’s good for telling the difference when you walk in? Especially if they’re right next to each other, when you’re little and you need to go it’s like tunnel vision lol. I know when I was in primary I’d stumble into the boys every now and then by accident. (It was all terracotta/white tiles for both). And I would be mortified lol. Does it really matter that much?

Snort at the school caring about the standard of painting. The loos were bad so bad that even the crappest paint job would have been an improvement. They looked way better when we finished. Boys was worse but we didn’t do those as we had girls.

Another stress to add to the head’s list.

Do they really need redoing or could you just donate some butterfly wall stickers for the boys and some rockets for the girls to even things up a bit?

Gender stereotypes are crap but it’s not as if they are gonna swap them for penis and vulva stickers to indicate who goes where in a primary school (and some kids can’t read ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ signs due to English as a second language, special educational needs or just being too little to read much yet).

I think your first email/conversation needs to be about whether the school wants parents to fund raise and then volunteer to do the painting.

As pp have said, it will need to be during a holiday period when children aren't at school. Is that practical for parents re: their own childcare? Is there someone eg a caretaker who would be able and willing to be on site? etc

It's a kind thought, but sometimes the practicalities of these things re more hassle than they appear at first sight.

Nothing wrong with butterflies or rockets for either sex, as long as they can have both.

I'd go with birds and trees, if you can.

I wouldn’t be giving them ‘evidence’. I’m sure they realise it’s not ideal. It would be pretty insulting to tell the head of a primary school about gender stereotyping.

I’d be concerned about the quality of the job if I were the head. Some people can’t decorate a room for toffee!

Also it will need to be done all in one go at a time when there are no children on site but also at a time when staff are present as there would be all sorts of issues with parents being in there with no staff present. That’s the sort of thing I’d be addressing in the initial email, not telling the head that boys shouldn’t have spacemen on the walls.

Pick your battles OP. At least your children have same sex loos. Countless children are forced to share toilets with the opposite sex and girls have to negotiate the practicalities of puberty and their periods in the company of boys. Given that I'd settle for sexist butterflies and space rockets any day (and I never thought I'd ever say that)

Just get in touch with the head and say you think the toilets need a refresh and as parents your are willing to raise the funds and do the painting yourselves.
Just be to the point, you feel its outdated and due a refresh. Nothing wrong with getting to the point and offering a solution.