The struggles of getting a haircut as a non-binary person

If ever there was a case for referring to anyone as "a young person" it's this poet. If she or he doesn't want to be of either sex, it seems such an obvious thing to call it.

And only older people are likely to realise just what an utter condemnation it is, which is a bonus.

Also hairdressers and barbers can be stressful for anyone - it's practically a national pastime finding it a bit awkward, not being sure what to say, whether to tip, hating your haircut while pretending you love it and running home with your hood up, etc etc. Most of us just get on with it / have a laugh about it. But if your awkwardness is because you're "NB" and imagine - inaccurately - that hairdressers are all binary-gendered and looking at you funny, it's treated as a terribly po-faced Serious Issue.

I think that is what has pissed people off - the fact that the complaints she makes are not only basically untrue, but such a small issue being treated as a big one.

God this vid is annoying.

Like this is sooooo important, when 2 women a week are being murdered? OR the planet burns.

Such boring self-absorption.

"day to day struggles that people are battling" say you??? Try to tell that to a woman who's been raped and knows her attacker will never be punished. Or the woman trying to raise children on Universal Credit after escaping from domestic violence?

I could go on. I really should not watch these things, for the sake of my blood pressure ...

I saw this on twitter and commented on it along the same lines - that millions of us have been getting non-gender–conforming haircuts for donkeys' years and hairdressers are actually far from divided along binary lines. Then I felt bad as it turned into a pile-on.

I do feel bad for this young woman that she has been led to believe not feeling comfortable with stereotyped gender roles makes her unusual, or even worse means she's not male or female. Also that her self-absorbed teenage poetic musings (we've all been there after all) are on record for the world to see - even if she's happy about that now she might cringe in the future, a problem that us old gimmers didn't have to deal with.

I hope she's OK and also discovers radical feminism before making any irreversible decisions.

I did find the "poem" exceedingly irritating. But the problem isn't with young people experimenting with their identity and looks, thinking they know best, or being pretentious – that's as old as time. It's with the establishment - BBC, government, educations system - taking the idea of non-binary and gender identity seriously, promoting it and encouraging it.

It can't be that hard: all the hairdressers near me will gladly do a scraggy bleach and blue dye job on both sexes.

It was my weekend job as a junior. Worked with 6 stylists. They all asked clients what they wanted, not once did they ask about sex/gender/genitals. They were only interested in hair

But do you ask them if they are men or women or do you just ask them what they want doing like every hair dresser I’ve ever met?

I worked in a salon. I would say clients were equally split between men & women

There seems to have been a cultural decision to actively cultivate and valorize mental and emotional fragility in young people and I don't think it's good for them at all.

Totally this. 100%.

In my day, we all cut/dyed/shaved each others' hair, mostly being too broke for trips to t'hairdressers. As goths and glammies there was a fair bit of gender non-conforming.

I see this more as a "too much money not enough sense" issue.

This person promotes an ideology high harms us all, particularly women and girls. The idea that everyone else s happy with gender stereotypes but zee is much more special than us, the idea that liking pink or blue is what makes you a girl or boy, the idea that biological sex doesn’t exist or is a distant second to your feelings and identity.

They look early 20s - at that age I had a job and a mortgage. They are not a child, they are old enough to take responsibility for the harm their ideology creates.

the poet does have a point about things like hairdressers charging more for the same haircut if you're a woman and about societal expectations about femininity

Completely. I remember clearly the utter outrage when Sinead O’Conner was on Top of the Pops.
Nothing is new.

Of course people were going to react like this. They threw her to the lions

Totally agree. I bet the young woman in the video thinks the BBC is on her side but in fact they have failed her. Part of the problem here is the way the BBC has presented this - using the word "struggle" in the headline for a start has opened the poet up to ridicule because it's inappropriate for such a trivial issue.

But also, the poet does have a point about things like hairdressers charging more for the same haircut if you're a woman and about societal expectations about femininity. The problem is, she may not realise this isn't a new problem, and one that affects a huge number of women, not only the special ones who call themselves NB, but the BBC does. Journos at the BBC know all about gender noncomformity over the years, and that it hasn't just been invented by this lot and they could have given this its historical context.

If they'd published this alongside comment about this having been an issue for GNC women since forever and recognising that not only the special people have GNC haircuts, then I bet it would have been much better received. They massively let her down and I bet she thinks they're on her side. And that sums up this movement I think. Adults who should know better involving themselves in a youth movement and encouraging and amplifying this bullshit. Totally agree with this:

There seems to have been a cultural decision to actively cultivate and valorize mental and emotional fragility in young people and I don't think it's good for them at all

Maybe you need to be to cut hair without charging women more than men. Even though they are likely to have smaller heads. That was my actual point although you chose to take one part of my post and twist it to your weird agenda.

But my barbers now is a sort of hipster place where they are either vegans

Oh no, not vegans. Everyone knows that you need to consume animal based food to be able to cut hair.

Some excellent comments here.

Wellbehavedwomen: creating drama over having to ask for a cut that you feel is gender neutral ... falls squarely under the heading of buying problems, when life will hand you a plethora of 'em.
I hope you’re fully recovered from the cancer and I’m glad your hair has grown back.

Prodigalkitten: There seems to have been a cultural decision to actively cultivate and valorize mental and emotional fragility in young people and I don't think it's good for them at all.

Yes I did watch this video and it was cringeworthy. I’ve no issue about what haircut you choose or toilet you want to use. But don’t sell yourself out for a cheap interview which makes you look like a fool

As a bloke, I've tried those unisex salon places and regardless of the gender of the person cutting my hair, it's been all fancy shampoo and a shit cut.

Barbers are better. Though not much cheaper these days. My barber does cut women's hair and there is no price difference. What will cost a fair whack is if you have long hair and you're going short. But my barbers now is a sort of hipster place where they are either vegans or part time farmers. Other barbers I've been to like the one near my first flat would not cut the hair of many women. Most women wouldn't even go in there as it was literally a cesspit of misogyny.

I'm not happy about the idea that this bilge can't be ridiculed or satirised because it's mean. The BBC should have been more responsible. Of course people were going to react like this. They threw her to the lions.

Agree, Dulang!

Woke parties must be a great place to take a nap.

I didn’t watch much of the video but I did read all the comments.

We are going to have such a good time in the gulags!

Gender-dissenters are much funnier than woke people.

They're not harming anyone at all.

Except they are, wellbehavedwoman. They are spending their time and talent and their platform promoting and reinforcing the idea that gender is what matters, not biological sex, in how people are treated. They are throwing other women under the bus. They are promoting the "trans and NB people are oppressed in ways you mere cis types can't even imagine" nonsense. And sure, they seem quite sweet, and aren't (unlike other gender extremists) holding a bloody knife and telling us to die in a fire, but they are still harming us.

Indeed, Bicker. As a visual message the trans flag reads as a celebration of both regressive gender stereotypes and keeping adults in a permanent state of immaturity. It's a twee children's products catalogue that even a few years ago would have been protested on "let toys be toys" grounds sold as progress and liberation.