Line Manager just "come out" as Non-binary

You could say, "I identify as non-binary too, as I don't see myself as conforming to all stereotypes of femininity ascribed to women. This has led me to my sincere, deeply held non binary identity. I suspect many women are similar to me but choose not to draw attention to it where it is irrelevant to the situation. I have also personally come around to the idea that changing pronouns is not my right to ask others; as it is others who use pronouns to refer to me. I believe this is stressful for many, particularly those with autism, who would be discriminated against if they were castigated for being unable to easily switch from a lifelong habit of using w{rds with specific meanings and then suddenly having those meanings change."
I would then add," I gently encourage all working in this office to disclose if they are non binary, as I do not think non binary people who refuse to stop using sex-based pronouns should feel inadequate. "

I'd cc the whole staff. Most women will begin to call themselves non binary at the water cooler, and your line manager will be de-specialised.

I too would just use your managers name, and also "my manager"

So Angela has kindly agreed to assist on this project and Angela will start pulling it together next week.

And to external people - my manager, Angela, and I enjoyed meeting you both last week. Please find some reference material attached that my manager has asked me to send over. Angela thinks you may find it useful.

Some things here are making too much of it

Yes, it's ambiguous if you try to use pronouns to distinguish between jack and Jill, but if it was jack and John in the park you would just use one of the names. It's need not be a barrier to understanding

Personally, I quite like the idea of avoiding the use of sex based identifiers in general

But expecting people to learn everyone's pronouns as well as names is rubbish as is getting upset over them. And fortunately most people don't get at all put out when you forget their name, so what should they if you forget a pronoun

Interesting that their performance is below par. This is one way of ensuring that people will think twice before criticising their work performance - any challenges will be discrimination....

Leave your politics and the door and put your manners on and behave in a polite way back by respecting this person's feelings.

Why doesn't this person behave in a polite way by respecting reality, which is that she is female?

Actually, if you use terfsandwich’s suggestion, and I really hope you do, I would add the fact that having autism, Aspergers is a protected characteristic.

@BlueJava but what about those people who don't respect the decision?

YABU it costs you nothing, and shows you respect them and their decision. However, my personal view for the workplace would be "So what?" as I don't see it makes any difference. Much the same as Philip Schofield's announcement today - it affects his wife and kids, but not most of the population.

I’m glad it’s not just me that finds this way of addressing people can be very confusing as it isn’t grammatically correct.

I can imagine that if I was in the same situation and pointed this out, that I would be made to look like I was being difficult and disrespectful (large public sector organisation about to start values based appraisals) rather than simply trying to write in clear English.

I love *terfsandwich’s’ idea. Do you think you could do that op?

I would quietly come out as non binary too - perhaps in a reply to the email thread with the other two colleagues copied in. However I would add that you choose to continue with sex-based pronouns because it can be confusing and distressing for some people, notably people with autism, to be compelled to change the way they use the English language.
Outwoke her!

This! This is the perfect response. And has the benefit of being true too. Non-binary could refer to most people surely, particularly those who identify as feminist?

Actually, referring to the self obsessed twit as ‘they’ on any communications might cause serious issues if there are any legal issues and communications between her and staff needs to be used as evidence. If you use the plural to talk about her, then that could be translated in any legal actions as including other people and not just her. That would be an interesting situation to watch. 😁

"They" dealt with it badly. "They" should just have dropped you a note saying

Hi Spinning

I know its difficult at first but just wanted to remind you I'd like people to refer to me as "they" rather than she from now on, I'm sure you just slipped up and you'll get used to it in time.

Thanks

Line manager

The arrogant way she dealt with it understandably put your hackles up.

I agree with others "they" is so hard to use in language "They saw Jack and Maria in the park, they really had fun and so did they"

What confuses me is the need to use a plural pronoun for an individual. Its rather reminiscent of the royal We

Ah well... perhaps I'm just old and fuddy duddy

Can you use initials? We do in my work. So: 'MS called a meeting for 2pm today. Mary wants to discuss...'
Still clunky but maybe better than saying Mary or Mary Smith* every time.

*random names.

The thing is they are not her pronouns, she is not using them. You are. Your speech belongs to you. Not her. As pp have said she is trying to force you to address her in her chosen way. It would cause me mental stress to try and refer to another person as them, they, it's all kinds of wrong.
To those who say, well it's just being kind. Where is her kindness to you? She wants you to use unnatural language. She is trying to compel your speech.
Being kind has got women into a bit of a mess, so from me Fuck being kind. No, would be my answer. No fucks given here, they've gone away.

I hate all this 'they' and 'them' business. There was a woman on here the other day talking about her husband as 'they' and it got quite confusing at times, sounded like there was more than one. At the end she said, 'husband' so we knew.

Non binary people are still biologically male or female

It just looks awful. How has this happened?!

You must ensure you are grammatically correct at all times.

“They has asked me to contact you to arrange a meeting. They was very disappointed about the lack of response to the campaign they is involved with.”

Get another job! In the meantime, refer to her by her name and in sentences such as the one given about Angela and the committee, refer to her as 'the former' or 'the latter' as appropriate. 'They' is a plural pronoun. We are not Borg.

I know it's possible Gaspode but I find it absolutely infuriating that someone's pronouns are more important to them than making a document understandable to the people it's aimed at. Because I work hard to write in plain English. A lot of people don't.

It's like those fucking leaflets telling people to get a cervical smear which don't mention women because they don't want to offend transwomen. Prioritising people who aren't even the intended audience of communications for fear of offending them is just insane. It's the insidious creep creep creep of compelled speech.

I won't do it.

terfsandwich
Your out woke response is genius!

How did she do it? I think if she was really dickish it’s different to a gentle FYI