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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What can we do as a society, and as parents, to reduce the number of girls who mistakenly transition?

80 replies

ShastaBeast · 12/01/2020 02:28

Aside from addressing the issues within the medical profession.

I’ve been reading the occasional thread with interest. I’ve always been open and understanding but can also see the dangers. I know a couple of FtM people, one as a teen with ASD who seemed very much a girl, albeit a “tomboy”.

I have a nine year old awaiting an ASD assessment (she already has another diagnosis). In the last year she has embraced becoming a “tomboy” along with another girl. There’s clearly a lot of gender stereotyping going on in the playground, one eight year old girl declared she “is a tomboy because she likes robotics” (she doesn’t have brothers). DD has asked whether she is a girl or boy, and similar, before - obviously she knows she is a girl. I’ve reinforced that girls can do/dress/act however they want and it doesn’t mean they are boys, and vice versa. I remember lots of “tomboys” and women who weren’t overtly feminine (make up, dresses etc) when I was at school.

Are there any resources or thing we should do to help girls be comfortable becoming women and combat the drift towards identifying as trans? Is there anything for schools and parents specifically - our school don’t even let girls wear trousers! I want to show her that being a woman is a good thing and to see the changes to her body as positive too.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 12/01/2020 09:43

Get Stonewall out of schools.

OhHolyJesus · 12/01/2020 09:42

I think we need to keep them off the internet and discuss this stuff in real life, we also need it out of the schools so if the topic ever comes up it is discussed at home and not in the classroom as the framing of that for me is all wrong.

I don't think this is going away any time soon but we need to understand gender dysphoria more and give a balance to what kids are exposed to.

I don't have a teen or pre-teen kid but I would not allow magazines for a girl or video games for a boy (at least not the violent ones or the ones where you can take to others online).

We need to encourage the understanding of someone being different or feeling confused or sad and look at how we can help them without harming them.

testing987654321 · 12/01/2020 09:34

We need to stop schools automatically affirming girls when they say they are boys.

It came in to my last workplace with no open discussion, a member of the senior leadership team was surprised to hear staff discussing two girls who had "transitioned".

I heard other staff describing being told by students that they wanted to be known as John and he from now on. The response from staff was "okay, no problem".

We always use a student's preferred name but I can't think of any other aspect where we give students so much power over teachers.

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 12/01/2020 04:22

Helping girls learn that their bodies are more than objects to be looked at and judged. That as girls they can be strong and capable and inhabit their physicality.

I watched that baseball movie with Madonna and remember being struck with how wonderful it must feel to be able to use your body as an amazing, powerful tool for movement.

It doesn’t have to be a sport, but getting girls outside, doing things, not just being a thing. Horses and lifting weights reconciled me to my less than perfect body. It can do things; difficult and challenging things. It doesn’t need to wait for approval from society that it conforms to some fake ideal. Being outside, getting tired and dirty in the service of something other than appearance matters as much for girls as for boys.

And great role models. All the amazing women who defied convention to climb mountains or cross deserts or build bridges. It’s only as I’ve got old that I see so clearly how the history of women has been hidden, to make women seem less and their achievements minor.

Creepster · 12/01/2020 03:47

It is imperative that we teach children that they do not need to play pretend just because someone else is. That people have a right to their own beliefs but they do not have the right to demand that others share those beliefs.
We need to persuade schools to stop bringing in lobbyist groups to teach children they were born in the wrong body if they do not comply with sex role stereotypes..