Usbourne publishing calling mums transphobes

For the benefit of Willis, who has clearly not RTFT

Yes, I have actually.
I don't have to agree with you.

For the benefit of Willis, who has clearly not RTFT, I will repeat something I said earlier.

It's not about which parent's "transitioning". Nor is it about "transitioning". The objection is that the book valorises children taking on the responsibility for parents. That's anti-safeguarding and perilously close to grooming.

Compare something like Jacqueline Wilson's The Illustrated Mum, where the mother has mental health issues. The narrative is that the children love their mum and their mum loves them but they are not responsible for their mum's wellbeing.

Presented with no further comment than WTAF?

Image is a quotation from the book. Dee is the transitioning parent. Here is another quotation, from the Usborne teacher resource for the book.

When she’s talking to Dee about her transition, Izzy says, ‘He looks so sad that I want to reach out and hug him. But I’m still angry with him too. He’s supposed to be the grown-up, not me. He’s supposed to be the one comforting me.’ (p62) Do you agree with her? What role do you think Izzy plays across the novel in relation to Dee?

cdn.usborne.com/quicklinks-library/teachers_resources/Nothing-ever-happens-here-book-club-notes.pdf

A book about a family with a trans person in it?
Failing to see the problem with that, to me this thread's all a bit section 28 = ie don't even educate children about it, it might mess with their heads and make them want to turn turn trans too!
I am old enough to remember when the exact same argument was formed for gay people, it wasn't allowed to be taught in schools for fear of "putting ideas in heads"
Not just plucked out of thin air, I've formed my opinion from comments such as Children getting their heads messed with by things they hear and read.
That just being one comment, there's more like it that's just an example.

I'm being tweeted extracts from it and it's even worse than I thought it would be.

Very shortsighted of Usbourne to call concerned parents, transphobic trolls. They need to apologise for that tweet if they want any more money from me. Trans ideology needs to be kept away from young vulnerable minds.

The boycott is not because of the book.

It's because of the reaction to people questioning the book.

I would suggest Retrofitted address their questions to Usborne

The only question I asked was has anyone read the book.

tinsel, its more and more, isn’t it. Children getting their heads messed with by things they hear and read.

I don't really want to read the book, as I don't want to give money to Stonewall. I am making some assumptions about it based on the synopsis and its provenance at this point. I guess I might end up reading it.

I'm told the author of the children of transitioners blog has ordered a copy so I'll be very interested to hear what she says.

What upsets me about this, is given how much propaganda is pushed on wives that we should accept transition and ignore our own feelings, it worries me greatly that this strategy is now being used on children.

I would hate for any children to read this and to feel guilty that they are not being accepting enough because I think that could be very damaging to them. Gaslighting and emotional blackmail are bad enough when used against adults, but unforgivable when used against children.

My ex wanted me to read a book by a couple who had stayed together, to try and get me to think we might be OK. I declined. I can imagine Dad's who are going to transition giving this book to their children to tell them how they should feel and react.

Finally, a boycott I can be part of.

I have no objection to Usbourne publishing the book.

I do object to Usbourne publicly labelling anyone who raised a concern about it as 'Transphobic trolls'.

Shame because I have bought quite a lot of Usbourne books over the years. I liked their non-fiction offerings.

Usborne is promoting this book as a valorisation of a child taking responsibility for its parent's wellbeing. Usborn itself advertises the book with this as its USP. None of the critical posts on this thread magicked this out of nowhere. Usborne did.

Valorising a child being responsible for a parent's wellbeing is antithetical to safeguarding and can act as a grooming mechanism on the book's readers.

If the contents of the actual book are different to the promotional campaign Usborne is running for it, I would suggest Retrofitted address their questions to Usborne. Why would they misrepresent the contents of a book they have published? Especially in ways that run counter to child safeguarding?

Ah the old mumsnet "YouMustReadALLTheBooks" poster. You still here?

I agree that we shouldn’t outright condemn anything before reading it...

Shall we buy one copy to share and send it on to each other via snail mail? Slowest book club in the world!

www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/upset-thought-losing-dad-really-like-parent-transitions/

This article is by the author of the book. It’s behind a paywall, but the full text is posted elsewhere online.

Here’s a couple of quotes:

——————-

‘I first spoke to Justine (NB this is the adult transitioner) and other families with trans parents, back in 2015, while researching a non-fiction book about the experiences of lesbian, gay, bi and trans (LGBT) parents.
[...]
Justine’s daughter Samantha is now in her 20s, but still remembers that first conversation. “I was in my early teens when I noticed little things changing – pink slippers under the bed, the hair, the nails. But it's the modern world; who doesn't like pink? One day our parents sat us down and explained everything – dad was born to be a girl and they both loved us very much.” How did she feel? “I was upset because I thought I was losing my dad. But it's brought us closer, before we were drifting apart, I think because of the secrets. I'm happier in myself because my family are honest with me.”

‘In my research, I spoke to trans parents who came out when their children were in their teens or younger. But I kept wondering: What was it like from the other side? How did it really feel to be a child in a family where your mum or dad is transitioning?
This question inspired me to create the character of Izzy - an ordinary 12-year-old girl who lives with her mum, dad, brother and sister. When her dad comes out as trans, she starts to think that her life is not so ordinary after all.
Izzy’s not real, but the situation she faces is a reality for many children and young people.’

————

So from that it seems that the author only spoke to the child of an adult transitioner for the publicity article, not as research for either of her books (one non fiction, one fiction). Seems like a glaring omission to me, but then, I suppose complicated feelings about parents who transition wouldn’t fit the Stonewall remit.

(This is just a small percentage of the total article, I can’t post the whole thing because it’s against Mumsnet rules re: paywall and copyright)

And you don't think calling people who are questioning the narrative 'transphobic trolls' is saying they don't want our custom? Because that's how that tweet reads.

I've not read the book - obviously. But I have read the whole thread and all the links and synopses. And that's enough for me to take a view on this.

Izzie's story could have been written about my daughter's best friend. It's so similar that I was taken aback.

It happened to this dear, lovely, shy girl right on the cusp of womanhood. It was made public when she'd just turned 12. I mention her age because I think it's significant - knowing what I know now.

The dad in question had cross dressed at weekends for many years. In his 50s he decided to medically transition and went abroad for the surgery. It was a huge shock for everyone outside of the immediate (and very private) family.

The mum didn't discuss much with me- but it was clear this was very hard for her. We all accepted it, kept any thoughts to ourselves, and celebrated the courage of this person. Of course we did.

Inside I wondered how on earth the children were coping but my daughter was absolutely protective of her best friend and would not hear a word of dissent or even concern about the situation. My daughter corrected anyone who still said he, or man, or dad. I was proud of her for being so loyal and accepting. Of course I was.

My daughter spent a lot of time with her best friend and family. On the surface it all seemed okay - as much as it could be.

Now my daughter is medically transitioning too. She suddenly became dysphoric at the age of 20, after a very traumatic time in her life. She was encouraged and supported by other young people who were transitioning and by older adults who I can only describe as activists.

Now I know what I do, and my critical thinking has kicked in, I often wonder how much she was affected by what happened to her best friend, and the gaslighting and grooming of young minds and hearts that took place.

We can't continue to allow a one-sided narrative to be pushed into our children. We owe them the truth and to explain it in a palatable and age-appropriate way.

We do not need books aimed at young children that peddle what can only be described as ideological propaganda.

Clymene, there’s a very big difference between choosing not to consume content based on a synopsis or review, compared with outright condemnation of it, to the point of calling it abusive, dangerous, grooming and calling for a boycott.

The first is exercising your right to choose. The second is actively seeking to damage the reputation of something without having consumed it.

It’s the reason verified reviews carry more weight than non verified, and why many platforms prevent reviews where the reviewer has not purchased an item.

Just dropping this here:

childrenoftransitioners.org/

Would love to see the book reviewed by a real life ‘Izzy’ - one that is now adult and able to view their childhood through the lens of adult (human female) womanhood.

Another day, another game-changing boycott.

#byeusborne, it's been dull and tedious knowing ya

On that basis @Retrofitted no one can make a judgement on deciding to see a film or go to see a play or read a book or eat in a restaurant based on reviews. We are unable to form any kind of opinion or draw any kind of conclusion about anything based on other people's feedback.

And as I see the monitors are hard at work on this thread, I'll leave it there

So Retrofitted, have you read the book. You’re telling everyone here that we seem unreasonable, but you haven’t actually shown any evidence to the contrary.

You have misunderstood the posts, I did try to explain how you have misunderstood but you ignored or didn't understand my explanation.

Clemene, I said in my first post asking the question: because it seems unreasonable to say that a book is grooming and to condemn its message in very strong terms, as many posts on this thread do, without having troubled to read it.