Do women in their 20s generally think it's the victims fault?

No, your post was deleted by @MNHQ for breaking talk guidelines
Not by "libtards" as you so eloquently put it

@Oksanna bloody hell where are you from the 70s???

Why is a woman's clothing an invitation to be raped? Seriously? That is so screwed up to compare a woman's body to money being on display. You know it was views like that that allowed The Yorkshire Ripper to murder so many women. It's ok they're women on the street, immoral who cares if they're raped and killed.

Pay gap - just no answer for that

Would love to see your views in 10 years

Would you like a biscuit oksanna? Coming on the FWR being deliberately goady to a rape survivor is vile.

Rape in many cases is avoidable if you don’t place yourself in dangerous situation

No it is not.

How dare.you say something so disgusting?

Rape is only avoided through rapists being caught and incarcerated before they rape any more women than they already have.

What an awful, vile attitude.

That must have been a very upsetting conversation bee

I think PPs comments about the pay gap being more visible as you age is probably very relevant but I can’t think of anything to explain the victim blaming.
As a teen I believed myself safe from rape because I was unattractive - made sure all my friends got home safely then walked alone across large parks in the middle of the night but I think that was about rationalising doing what I wanted rather than victim blaming iyswim

It feels like the closer women get to equality the steeper the hill gets...

@MNHQ - I have a quote that I would like to share, in the form of a picture, which I think could help @Twittlebee while discussing this with friends, but it is quite distressing and triggering.

@Twittlebee - please let me know if you would like me to PM or post, I don't want to send it, or post to your thread, if it would be upsetting/derailing.

But rape, by definition is committed with a penis...

People like this honestly frustrate me. They must live such a sheltered life.

It's quite telling that the 3 of us at my work (me and 2 others) who believe rape to be the fault of the rapist and no one else, are the three of us that have admitted to being sexually assaulted.

I think the kindest way of referring to most women like this is that they've had the luxury of not having to experience these things.

Re the pay gap, it increases as you age. It's not as pronounced in your 20s as 40s. So it's not something that impacts them as much right now. Again, wait until they're a bit older.

I've found myself and a lot of my friends had BIG changes on our levels of enragement after having kids in our 30s. After watching women around us not being able to get back into work easily, after watching them left with two small kids and reduced career prospects while exDh swanned off abroad free of kids, of understanding the damage our friends were going through in long term abusive relationships and "just leaving" wasn't always possible straight away etc, never mind realising how many of us had been raped earlier. Not much of that had become apparent in our 20s.

Re rape, these friends of yours are not just wrong, the one who said that to you - and went unchallenged - is being a bitch. It's one thing to have the luxury of not understanding, of the bliss of ignorance, but victim blaming a rape survivor to their face is a whole other level. If that ever comes up again, I'd reckon it'd be worth challenging her, because she deserves to look an idiot - if you feel up to it. Even something along the lines of "Ik sure you don't really mean to victim blame women who have been brutalised by men. Or do you?" head tilt.

NO rape is the victims fault. Op, firstly words cannot convey how sorry I am you've been through that. I was raped several times by my fiance. It's no one fault but the rapists.

Your friends are extremely naive.

I was raped by a friend in my own home while I was wearing slobbyclothing and no make up I didnt deserve it

@Twittlebee
They all weirdly agree that women going to work is a good thing and that we are providing a vital service for parents.

It's very strange.

I'm in my 40s. In my 20s I never thought rape was the victim's fault but I didn't think the gender pay gap existed and I didn't realise how different things were for men and women in the workplace but that's because in my industry women actually do extremely well at the lower levels. I saw no older women or mothers. I didn't realise at the time it was because there's not really a place for them, even now.

I don't think it's limited to 20s.
In sexual assault / rape cases reported in my local paper, the facebook comments section is full of comments from women of all ages victim blaming.

Idiots. They will learn, too late, what it's really like to live in the world. And feel rightly ashamed of the word vomit they spewed in their youth.

I'm sure they would probably find some way to blame this child for her death, or perhaps her mother, from whose sleeping arms she was abducted.

Probably they would blame 8 month old baby, too, or the child's mother who needed to work (presumably so she could afford to eat) & who left the baby with a cousin, who raped her & left her with such severe injuries she needed surgery. But, it's obviously not the men's fault.

There's a lot to be said for letting your kids experience a bit of crap & hardship while they're young. Nothing good comes from letting them think that your luck in life is entirely down to how you behave & how hard you work. Sometimes, life just sucks.

I'm 28 and don't feel this way. I also don't think it's just women in their twenties that do think like that.

I work in a nursery. Lots of women. 22 members of staff in my setting.
All but me and 2 other women (both in their twenties) believe that women bring on their own problems, that they wear too short a skirt, that they were too drunk, that they shouldn't have been walking alone at night etc etc.

They don't believe in the pay gap (because we are paid well by our employer, certainly more than any other nursery within the immediate area, I know, I've checked)
And they think that women having children is up to them and if they really wanted to work their way up.the career ladder they wouldn't have kids... Despite 17 of us having our own children!

It is internalised misogyny.

It makes people feel safer. I'm in my 40s now and look back at some beliefs i used to have and realise how many of them were a poor attempt at self protection. It won't happen to me because I'm not silly/drunk/don't walk like a victim etc.

I counter this these days with men and women of all ages by trying to talk it through calmly and challenge their ideas. It's not only youth though - met an older mum a while ago who was outraged when i said domestic violence could affect anyone. Not her daughters! She had brought them up with confidence and self respect! We were at a volunteer training for a young people's helpline. Interesting view of who she might need to speak to and respect.

I have a friend who escaped domestic violence but agrees with another friend that women should be helped once to escape a bad relationship but second time is their fault. For my friend who escaped, i suspect that is about shame and blame she feels for her own experience and it is easier to carry if she sees herself as not like 'them'. These are both women in their 40s.

There is a lot of shame around being attacked or being held back for being female - and an obsession in our culture with an individual being at fault.

screams into void

that about sums up my response to such complete delusion

I think there’s a lot of inexperience in their views. I was fired first day back from maternity leave for no reason except discrimination, yet I had a female (non-parent) tell me discrimination doesn’t happen anymore. Thankfully the tribunal didn’t agree.

People in the UK in their 20s now are less likely to drink heavily, so maybe they see getting drunk and getting in an unbooked cab or walking home alone as “contributory negligence” but that doesn’t change the fact that being drunk is not consent.

Ask them again in 10 years. I bet they give more sensible replies.