"Most prolific" rapist reporting - male vs female victims

I think this thread shows what selective hearing people have... This thread is basically victim shaming.

Hilarious. And I also appreciated I have actually not heard about this case at all so it can't be that widely spoken about.

Love a good parody account but maybe you should do your act on one of the less serious threads?

As I recall, they decided not to do that in the Worboys case - they didn't even prosecute the majority of them, even though there were many more victims who wanted to testify.

I've been told by someone who has dealings with the CPS that they had so much stick over the Worboys decision that it influenced their decision to include all 48 victims who were willing to testify in the charges this time round.

*What an odd thing to do; to obsess over the number of syllables in someone’s user name on a thread about rape8

You misunderstand the tone and intent......nothing odd or suspicious at all. It was just a friendly interaction.

I've heard many accounts of rape on women. This is not the first time the victim impact on rape victims has been spoken about on the news or on the radio, tv, social media etc. There's been many cases of women being raped and them speaking about it or being interviewed about it.

I think this thread shows what selective hearing people have and how they'll search under every stone to find some sort of inequality. I have actually not heard about this case at all so it can't be that widely spoken about.

There's been many docuseries, films and TV programmes made about serial rapists of women and murderers of women and the impact of their actions. Why is all that being ignored because a few people used a different tone? This thread is basically victim shaming. 'They got more air time than women usually do'. Grow up, honestly. This feminism board here is getting ridiculous

I'm interested in the CPS's decision to prosecute absolutely all the rapes.

As I recall, they decided not to do that in the Worboys case - they didn't even prosecute the majority of them, even though there were many more victims who wanted to testify. And this was a factor in the later-reversed decision to give him parole.

Perhaps it wasn't pure misogyny motivating the different treatment. Maybe given all the criticism they've received about rape prosecutions lately they wanted to beef up their conviction statistics?

(aibu to think that it's bizarre to complain in haughty tones about someone derailing a thread and then two comments further down to derail it yourself? nevermind don't answer that, this discussion is more important.)

I hope the victims get all the support they need.

Agree there is a difference in reporting styles. Partly it’s because the general public find males being raped more unusual and therefore more shocking. (Not that it should be more shocking).

I do think it’s interesting that many posters wrote of the difference in reporting without first expressing any sympathy for the victims, when some of those same people chastised others for doing the same in the past. For example castigating posters for expressing sympathy towards/ discussing A Challenor, without first expressing sympathy for the father’s young victim.

Sorry about the incoherent typos in that post. Rushing

So, after decades of GHB being known as the date rape drug, and umpteen campaigns telling women to cover their drinks’, not leave their drinks’ unattended etc the govt are finally going to look into the classification of the drug in question, but guess what? The fact that it’s been used to rape and drug thousands upon thousands of women is not the trigger. I find that so telling in itself. Until now women have just been expected to be vigilant at all times, and if she gets drugged and raped then she should have been more careful, but as soon as it’s shown that men can’t go out, get incoherently wasted, go home with any rando off the street suddenly it becomes a problem that needs looking at.

I hope that the victims in this case get all the support and help they need. I just wish when women are subjected to the same treatment they would get the same level of sympathy and compassion.

I remember watching Crimewatch when I was a kid and there was an appeal to find a male rapist my parents insisting that it was much worse for a man to be raped. Sadly this attitude seems to still be prevalent.

It is now worse for a man to be raped than a woman, or a gay man or straight woman to be raped than a straight man, it’s horribly violating and distressing for everyone. And yes, you’ll notice I didn’t include lesbians in that little sentence, as I think the attitude towards a lesbian raped would be even more toxic.

The fact that the police didn’t even believe a man who reported speaks volumes about their attitude. If they don’t believe the great white straight male then how have any of us got a chance?

What an odd thing to do; to obsess over the number of syllables in someone’s user name on a thread about rape.

No, haha. I just remembered The Scousers when I was trying to think up a username

It goes slightly wrong at the end........I'd leave the final 'do' off. "They do that, though, don't they". I live in Liverpool. I don't 'identify' as a Scouser.

someone on the AIBU thread made the point that so far there haven't been blurry CCTV pictures/films of the victims going back to the rapist's flat - although that's quite a staple from reporting on women/gay male rapes.

A CCTV picture showing exactly that, was on TV the other day.

The reporting on this case has, rightly, been respectful and sympathetic to the male victims. All we're asking is that the same respect and sympathy be accorded to female victims of rape. How difficult can that be to understand?

Exactly. It’s conspicuous in its unconditional sympathy for the victims (and quite rightly).

Absolutely. Well-said.

No, haha. I just remembered The Scousers when I was trying to think up a username.

deydododatdodontdeydo

Great username - are you from Liverpool by any chance?

It's a shame this case was conducted behind closed doors and concluded before people could comment on it.
I don't suppose anyone got a chance to ask "why did they go back to his flat?" because the case was done and dusted before anyone heard of it.
However, I did hear that the defence tried to argue that the victims consented, that they were secretly gay and in the closet, that the videos were part of a sex game played by consenting adults.
In addition, the only one to report it was disbelieved.
So there may have been many similarities with female victim cases.

Thank you Brefugee.

God yes Brefugee that's so depressing. Not "how do we tackle the issue of men raping people"

the title has been changed:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3788470-The-tone-of-the-coverage-of-the-Reynhard-Sinaga-case-Title-edited-by-MNHQ?msgid=92917408

I seem to have lost the AIBU thread

Or has it been removed...

This is so striking in this case, men are not expected to practise the type of situational awareness that women have drummed in to them from an early age.

Unfortunately the main take-away from this (because you can be sure someone, somewhere is thinking what a good idea it is) is that we have to drum this awareness into the men in our lives too, now.

I think we should start by sending complaints every time we hear the words “forced sex” or “co-erced sex”.

If these victims were female, we'd have had all manner of people suggesting that the women were silly for getting so drunk they were thrown out of a club, losing their friends, talking to a man and then accepting the offer of going back to his flat

This is so striking in this case, men are not expected to practise the type of situational awareness that women have drummed in to them from an early age. Reading the AIBU thread, it's clear that a lot of the horror that this case has caused stems from the fact that these young lads were just on a normal night out. It's absolutely no different for many female rape victims, but the victim blaming is so internalised that it's shocking when you strip away the usual "what were they thinking of to put themselves in such a risky scenario" knee jerk response.

Exactly. It’s conspicuous in its unconditional sympathy for the victims (and quite rightly).

No caveats. No subtext of victim blaming - ‘but the men were drinking and agreed to go back to his flat’. (Did we even get to find out what the men were wearing at the time of their rapes?)

It’s how all rapes should be reported.

But it’s only how straight male rapes are reported.

EXACTLY this. This is precisely the issue. If these victims were female, we'd have had all manner of people suggesting that the women were silly for getting so drunk they were thrown out of a club, losing their friends, talking to a man and then accepting the offer of going back to his flat with a lot of "well, what did you think he was after? A nice chat?". Also lots of footage showing how they willingly walked back with him, chatting and smiling and not-at-all distressed (there have been loads of examples of this with women).

But because these are straight men, they are not subjected to the same. And that is why this is an issue that we need to talk about.

I even heard on Radio 4 this morning the headline "the woman who claims she was coerced into sex", rather than the much more clear "claims she was raped by 12 men". The double standards are shocking.

Funny how the government are now looking into GHB now that it’s been used to rape hundreds of men. But when women are drugged and raped it’s the “silly girl” narrative, isn’t it?

Because it must be dangerous stuff if it can be used to incapacitate blokes and not weak, vulnerable women who’ve made bad choices on a night out.

I’m obviously not saying a government review is wrong - it’s a long time coming. But as ever, it’s only a problem once it affects men.

someone on the AIBU thread made the point that so far there haven't been blurry CCTV pictures/films of the victims going back to the rapist's flat - although that's quite a staple from reporting on women/gay male rapes.