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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

York theatre royal toilets

192 replies

pigsknickers · 02/01/2020 19:57

I visited today and was irritated to find that one of the two women's toilets is now unisex (and yes the men still have two to themselves). Here's the text of the email I've written them; I'm planning to c&p it to any venues I come across who've pulled this stunt from now on. Awaiting waffle bollocks response.

"I visited the theatre today with my mum and two small children, and I want to tell you how appalled we were to find you've designated one of the two female toilet facilities as unisex, while the men still have two single sex facilities. There are so many reasons why we found this to be a misjudged move on your part:

  1. Women need more, not fewer public toilets than men. We are often looking after small children or elderly female relatives in the toilets. We need more time and space to deal with menstruation (which we really don't want to do in a shared space with men). Many venues suffer from long queues to use the ladies' as it is. When I visited today, the toilets in question were full of women trying to toilet their children, with men adding to the overcrowding (while there was a men-only facility just next door). Yes, I could have used the women-only toilets upstairs, but with two small children in tow I had neither the time nor the energy to drag them up two flights of stairs.
  2. Men's toilets are dirty. Men tell us this all the time; many men take steps to ensure they won't have to use a cubicle while they're out, because men urinate on the seats and floor. This gets worse in venues where alcohol is served.
  3. Women need privacy away from men when performing intimate functions. I sometimes have very heavy periods, and do not want to wash blood off my hands while standing next to a man. I don't want a man to overhear me explain to my three year old what a sanitary towel is.
  4. Women in states of vulnerability are not safe in shared sex spaces. Your cubicles are not even floor-to-ceiling; you are making it easier for predatory males to intimidate, harass and attack women and girls.
  5. Women have fought long and hard for single-sex provision so that they have equal access to public life. Both the WHO and UNICEF emphasise the importance of single-sex toilets in protecting girls in developing countries from rape, and allowing them to participate in public life. Without adequate toilet provision, women and girls in this country too would have their safety and dignity compromised whenever they leave the house. I would be very interested to know what Equality Impact and Risk Assessments were carried out before this change was implemented.
  6. It is just not acceptable that men now have access to 2.5 of 4 toilet facilities, while women - who I presume make up at least 50% of your clientele (I would guess more based on today's audience) - only have access to 1.5 of them. I anticipate an explanation that this change was made to make better provision for transgender people, and while this may be a laudable aim, I invite you to consider why it was deemed appropriate to remove a significant proportion of your female customers' toilet provision. This sends a very clear message that you value your female customers less than any other demographic, and for this reason I will not be visiting the Theatre Royal in the foreseeable future."
OP posts:
corlan · 24/01/2020 22:03

Another fan of your ranty eloquence. Excellent letter, I hope it gets an equally considered answer.(Doubt it though!)

starlingsintheslipstream · 24/01/2020 21:50

Well done - really eloquent letter. Nevertheless she persisted...

Michelleoftheresistance · 24/01/2020 21:45

That's a cracking letter. I look forward to hearing how they respond since those points are so straightforward. Bravo!

SoldiersinPetticoats · 24/01/2020 21:42

Marvellous letter.

PatellarTendonitis · 24/01/2020 21:39

Keep us posted.

Halfeatentoast · 24/01/2020 21:39

Oh excellently done! I wish I could write like you!

BentNeckLady · 24/01/2020 21:37

Fantastic letter. I don’t want to have to share my toilets with anyone with a penis, regardless of how they identify. No woman should have to.

SunshineOutdoors · 24/01/2020 21:35

My dd is getting to the age where she can have little bits of independence like going to the toilet on her own when we’re in a cafe or restaurant. I won’t be allowing it if this is the future of toilets.

SunshineOutdoors · 24/01/2020 21:32

I’m very interested to hear the reply too. Surely they’ll be having a proper discussion about this as you raised so many good points. Well done and thank you.

stealthLangnutkin · 24/01/2020 21:30

Excellent letter. I think you frightened them with that bit about the illegality of allowing men into women's toilets when there are gaps around the doors.
They'll be frantically googling the law and realising they are up shit creek and liable to be sued, all because they stupidly trusted that Stonewall wouldn't deliberately mislead them.

TalkingtoLangClegintheDark · 24/01/2020 21:26

Bloody hell, that’s a good letter. Really good! Will be interesting to see the reply...

Thelnebriati · 24/01/2020 21:21

Oh well done, they passed you up the chain.

pigsknickers · 24/01/2020 21:06

Thanks for the support everyone - I must admit I do enjoy cracking out a ranty letter when the opportunity presents itself Grin

OP posts:
tooyoungat40 · 24/01/2020 20:40

It's letters like these that make me wish for a template option on FWR so we could download sterling examples for future use. Cracking letter. Let's hope it is analysed and understood and the points utilised.

FloreanFortescue · 24/01/2020 20:32

I have messaged them far less eloquently than you.

FloreanFortescue · 24/01/2020 20:28

I'm from York, I had no idea about this. My best friend is an employee, I'll have to ask her how it's going down.

MrsSnippyPants · 24/01/2020 20:14

You might not be able to bold pigsknickers but you do write an exceedingly good letter Grin

Dolorabelle · 24/01/2020 20:10

Wow, an excellent letter.

iguanadonna · 24/01/2020 20:04

Oh well done!!

SarahTancredi · 24/01/2020 20:01

Excellent letter. They have alot to address dont they...

AutumnRose1 · 24/01/2020 19:31

Thanks for the update, OP, great letter.

Uncompromisingwoman · 24/01/2020 18:47

That's such a good letter. Well done.

Barbthebuilder · 24/01/2020 18:45

Excellent letter! Hope you get a proper reply. The new management has clearly lost the plot.

pigsknickers · 24/01/2020 18:37

FFS why can I not do bold anymore??!

OP posts:
pigsknickers · 24/01/2020 18:37

An update: I sent the following reply a couple of weeks ago -

*Dear Rachel,
Thank you for your reply to my email of complaint about the removal of the main female toilets at York Theatre Royal.

I am somewhat taken aback by your suggestion that women who feel uncomfortable sharing toilet facilities with men, should use the disabled toilet instead. I assume an Equality Impact Assessment was also carried out before this surprising policy change was made, as this will no doubt have a significant impact on your disabled customers. I wonder what suggestions you will make to them when they find the accessible toilet in constant use by women who do not feel safe or comfortable sharing toilets with men. You say this change was made in order to "be inclusive of everyone in our community", and yet women and disabled people - who you presumably also count as valuable members of your community - are being demonstrably disadvantaged by these changes.

It is, in fact, unlawful for men and women to share toilet facilities where cubicles do not have full floor-to-ceiling partitions and doors. This is because, as I pointed out (a point to which you did not respond), women are at increased risk of harassment and assault in mixed-sex facilities. Toilet cubicles like yours provide opportunities for voyerism and upskirting, as well as being completely lacking in adequate privacy. The British Toilet Association and the Health and Safety Executive will be able to offer advice on what constitutes safe and legal toilet facilities.

If men are unable to toilet their children adequately in the men's toilets, this is sad and needs addressing - by improving the men's toilets. If transgender customers do not feel safe or comfortable using single sex toilet facilities, this needs addressing by creating more self-contained, entirely private cubicles, not by removing facilities from women, or by illegally inviting men into the women's toilets, thus putting women at risk. Furthermore, it is totally unacceptable to make disabled facilities available to anyone not happy with the current unsafe, undignified and illegal arrangements*

I've just had an email back referring me onto the head of operations who is apparently going to respond in full to the points I've raised. I'll let you know what he has to say ..

OP posts:
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