Scots comedian's partner being told to smile

www.tlynnfaz.com/Stop-Telling-Women-to-Smile

The assumption that women should perform on command for men's pleasure is so ingrained in society that it is considered normal for random men to order random women to smile for them.

I've probably been through more of this sexist shit in my life than most of you have seen, because it's gone now.

Hurrah, beat your swords into ploughshares sisters, it's over!!
(Why are we on the feminist board again?)

If your sorry don’t go complaining you’ve had more misogyny than most and that women are ‘whining’ about the ‘smile’ bs. Any misogyny is part of the same misogyny, some may be smaller than others but all contribute to what I went through and millions other girls are going through now.

If you can apologise for what i went through but not address the valid points I made then your misogyny is showing.

@VMisaMarshmallow I'm so sorry. What a terrible childhood. The evil bastards.

Being “given” some vague semblance at equality is not the hard work over. Dissembling the embedded structure and behaviours that lead to women being treated as less by men is not over. I’d say it’s got worse since legislation forced men to comply with legislation which took things away from them.

Fraggling nails it.
It’s sexist. It’s misogyny. It’s Patriarchal society in action.

I’m a strong feminist is I’m not like other girls/woman. Internalised misogyny.

Actual feminists call out sexism when it doesn’t impact them because not doing so condones the behaviour.

#feministkilljoy

Nobody here is "whining" for fuck's sake.

81Byerley yes I know. I got married in 1971.
Sleazy, unpleasant, sexist - it's all part of the same thing.

81bye I grew up being raped, sometime nightly, some times by more than one rapist up until I hit puberty. I’ve gone through more than my share of misogyny since also, revicitimisation being the common pattern after all. The ‘smile’ comments by men to women are definitely misogynistic, it’s not the same thing as the abuse I suffered but it’s part of the same problem the same way commenting on a poc skin being too dark isn’t the same as slavery but is part of the same problem of racism. It’s perfectly possible not to be massively effected by ‘smile’ comments and still see them for what they are, an unfair misogynistic double standard.

Men instructing women and girls to smile is sexist as all fuck.

They are stating their right for the women and girls around them to be pleasing to them visually, and that they are entitled to correct females who transgress.

They can fuck off.

By the way if you don't smile when a man on the street tells you to, sometimes they don't take it very well. Which shows the place that this comes from. Same as all other street harassment. Sexism, and a desire for women and girls to comply.

@MyMajesty I'm 70. I've probably been through more of this sexist shit in my life than most of you have seen, because it's gone now. I'm not saying it is right. When I was married in 1970, advice in magazines included "An hour before your husband is due home from work, have a bath and renew your make up. No man wants to come home to someone who looks unkempt. Make sure you have his slippers and a drink ready and waiting, and remember to ask him about his day. Do not tell him about any of your problems. As breadwinner, he has more important things to worry about". And don't get me started on advice for when you had a new baby, which included making sure he wasn't disturbed at night by the baby, and getting up early to put on makeup so he wouldn't have to look at you when you weren't at your best.
A dirty old man telling a young woman to smile is sleazy and unpleasant, and I'd focus on that rather than the sexist aspect of it.

Good for you 81Byerley, you're strong so it's fine to let idiots think their insulting behaviour is totally acceptable and they can carry on inflicting it on others.

Although on the smile thing I can't recall it ever happening to me and I'm not a smiley person at all.

Posted too soon- her ridiculous, earlier tweet doesn't help her case as she clearly believes in sexist stereotypes herself.

She is correct about the smile thing. I'd be very surprised if it is said by a man to another man.

However her ridiculous, earlier tweet earlier

Smile, it may never happen", does it really matter? The last time someone said that to me, my Mum had just died. I'm certain that my reply to him ("It just has, my Mum died"), made him think twice about ever saying it again to anyone else

HA HA That told him. He won't be doing that again!

In the meantime I will happily walk through doors that are opened for me by men, and I notice that young men will happily walk through doors that I hold open for them. It's nothing to do with being female or male, it's to do with being considerate to others

Holding doors for people has got nothing to do with being told to smile. Holding a door is a courteous thing for any gender to do and is polite and respectful.
Gross old men telling young women to "smile" whilst giving a lecherous stare is not polite, or courteous, nor is it respectful. Its a thinly veiled come on that is disguised as a "compliment". Never in my life would I tell a stranger to "smile" at me when I have no idea what they might be going through in their private life. If I had ever once seen an old man telling another old man to "smile" I would absolutely agree its not sexist, but this literally never happens- why is that? Why dont men say it to other old men if seeing happiness is so important to them? Oh thats right- its because women are meant to be "decorative" to others. Well fck that. I dont exist to decorate their world.

Not to mention, who in the hell goes around smiling all day long anyway? its a ridiculous notion - if a person went around with a huge smile on their face 24/7 people would assume they were creepy and frankly, a tad unhinged.

The smile thing absolutely is sexist. How many men have been instructed to smile or cheer up by other men? None, ever.

Honestly?

Yep, honestly.

Honestly? I've gone through life being wolf whistled at, had men shouting out at me, even been grabbed at on two occasions. Was it right? No. Did it hurt me? No. Did it make me angry? Yes, when I was grabbed. Being told "Smile, it may never happen", does it really matter? The last time someone said that to me, my Mum had just died. I'm certain that my reply to him ("It just has, my Mum died"), made him think twice about ever saying it again to anyone else. I wouldn't have reported him though, why would I? I'm female, confident that I'm equal to any other person in this world, and the last thing I need is someone else sticking up for me and disciplining somebody on my behalf. I'm a feminist, but I'm a strong feminist, and whining about men saying things they'd never say to other men doesn't cut it for me. The hard work for women's rights happened 50 years ago, when women really were treated differently. Now if I hear women complaining about little things, it makes me feel impatient. If you don't like what somebody says or does, quietly call them out on it. In the meantime I will happily walk through doors that are opened for me by men, and I notice that young men will happily walk through doors that I hold open for them. It's nothing to do with being female or male, it's to do with being considerate to others.

On being told to smile:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2TmscdapDHg&feature=youtu.be

Its sexist as hell. The only people who have ever told me to smile are creepy, lecherous, sleazy old men. I notice they NEVER say it to other old men, only much younger women.

I also got told to smile the day I was walking to the solicitors to sort out probate following my dad's death. On that occasion I told them where to shove it.

I have what some people would call a resting bitch face. I've been told countless times over the years to cheer up, smile, it might never happen....ALWAYS by a man. Pisses me off no end.

Interesting theres no male equivalent of resting bitch face. No expectation on men to smile and put a face on in public.