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Original poster

Women and "the moral high ground"

29 replies

BeyondVotesForFlube · 13/12/2019 12:44

Typed and then deleted some over-sharing info on social media earlier, and as I hit backspace it occurred to me - "the moral high ground" seems to have a tendency to be a bit sex-biased. It always IME seems to be the father in a former family who can over-share to his hearts content, while the mother is unable to because of "the moral high ground".

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Original poster
BeyondVotesForFlube · 13/12/2019 16:27

Ah I forgot about the testicles of objectivity...

FGS - I'm not sure I'd use the word "normal" there 😬 more that those women are tired and worn down than they actually are in some way abnormal

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FGSJoanWhatsWrongWithYou · 13/12/2019 16:22

Too often women care too much that someone somewhere might one time call them a bitter ex. Too often men give no such fucks whatsoever.

Keep in mind that if a woman breaks up with a abusive man after a long relationship, well that's a sign she's a people-pleaser and he is a self-pleaser.

In my experience, normal women have the confidence to moan about their exes and not much care if someone doesn't like it.

slug · 13/12/2019 16:16

Because women who complain are seen as vindictive and men are generally thought of as objective. Helen Lewis has a good term for it "The testicles of objectivity". No matter how correct a woman's analysis of a situation, we must never, ever, contradict men and make them look small, petty or vindictive. You become the bitter ex wife and he's the long suffering partner who was a saint to put up with your lunacy for so long.....

Original poster
BeyondVotesForFlube · 13/12/2019 16:03

And I've just realised that I posted half of this post earlier and the second half disappeared!!

The rest was... (roughly)...

So often in RL I have come across both formerly abusive domestic relationships (and just the regular type of AWOL fathers), and in both situations it is always the man who gets to spin his version of events to a wider audience, while the women are encouraged to "take the high ground" and not complain or correct anyone. I can think of two friends off the top of my head now who are dealing with shitty ex-h's and traumatised children, while they maintain their dignified silence.

And it's passed on to communication with the DCs too, the encouragement that you mustnt be nasty about daddy - even if what you say is the truth. Heaven forbid you become the bitter ex wife, there is literally nothing worse /s. Angry But then that leaves you with the dilemma of having to lie to them or at least fudge facts so they don't know what a shit he is.

So, it's a tough day in the beyond household as if you couldn't tell!!

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