I can’t quite get my head around it. On the one hand this is a country which has the highest percentage of female pilots in the world, and has had a prime minister (albeit nepotism) well before many Western countries did. And yet the violence towards women is off the scale, and often involves unimaginable depravity.
It's very hard to make any statement about India, for which the exact opposite is also true.
The attacks on women are horrific, the disregard for lower caste women is disgust me. But my own experience, as a woman, who loves India above all othe countries, is the reverse.
I first went to India in 1973, as a mixed race hippie, on the overland trail so, I was poor and had a dishevelled look about me. I went with a man but we parted company in South India and I went my own way. I lived in and near an Ashram. Mostly, I rented a small cottage without any amenities so, no running water, toilet, or electrcity. In the hot season, I often slept outside the front door, on a man, easily seen over the fence and easilily accessible. I suspect that back then it was different; I would not encourage any young woman to do this today, especially not a foreigner. I should add that though I have brown skin, my hair is slightly frizzy as my ethnicity is mixed race/Caribbean. Yet many Indians assume I'm Indian.
Anyway. I was on my own for 18 months, I used to wonder around the place, at night, sometimes on very lonely roads, returning in the wee hours (this was part of a spiritual ritual I used to practice).
As I didn't have a toilet for many months, I used to go out in a field and did a whole. Many Indian (men) did the same. I just chose a time when I'd be alone, yet still in full view.
I've been going almost every year since then. I've never once been addressed impolitely, much less attacked or rudely propositioned -- not once. I last went last year for three months, (I always go to the same place) and now that I'm an older women, I meet with almost reverence from men. I'm always addressed as Madam or Mataji or Mother or Amma. A friend of my son's, in his 40's, told me he ddn;t like to call my by my first name as it was disrespectful, and so he chose to address me as Mataji, which means Respected Mother (-ji is a suffix of respect).
I suppose it makes a difference that the place I go to is a traditional and ancient place of pilgrimage, where the original values of Hinduism tend to be observed, and that makes a difference.
When I first came to India as a young woman of 23, it was a revelation NOT to be seen, for the first time in my life, as a sexual object and not to have to see myself as such. In fact, it was in India that I finally found my bearings as a woman who was not beholden to men in any way, who no longer had to please men. I've only gone from strength to strength since then, and India is the place where I recharge my batteries. I'm going again in January, with my daughter and small granddaughter. My daughter has been going with me since she was a child and loves it as much as I do. As do many, many women I know.
There have indeed been some attacks on women, foreigners especially, in the last ten years or so. Society tends to go downhill rather than up as far as sexual mores are concerned.
But where India is concerned, the culture of deep respect for women IS there, even if buried, as can be found in the older texts and scriptures. Sexual continence traditionally is supposed to be upheld by young men. There is the tradition that a boy is taught to see every woman as his mother or sister except his wife. He is supposed to revere "shakti", and seek it in himself, and strive for humility rather than dominance. All of this I've seen lived out by many Indian men, and this would be the culture of the golden age Indians believe in. Traditionally, men are encouraged to choose celibacy after they've lived the householder's life and raised children. You will still find that a man is celebrated more for his ability not to need sex, than for his sexual conquests. At least in certain circles. Sexual overindulgence is seen as a weakness, not a strength that's one of the tenets of Yoga.
It's really hard to put into a few words a lifetime of experience, and there's a lot more I could say. I've travelled a lot in India and I've seen the best of that country as well as the worst I've even been into Indian brothels in Kamathipura, Mumbai's red light district, and been confronted with the devastating situation of child prostitution so I'm not coming to this with a blue-eyed vision.
Anyway, I could go on for pages but I won't, not only that I doubt it would change anyone's mind, but my daughter has just come to visit! Just bear in mind that India is an extremely complex culture, with multiple facets, and impossible to tie down.