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Original poster

“Men Explain things to me” moment last night

29 replies

somebrightmorning · 22/11/2019 22:58

I went to a corporate event last night and sat next to a very nice chap.

We do the same job and towards the end he mentioned the difficulty of getting a remedy from the tech giants but that he’d made progress. I asked whether he had sued Amazon and how they had responded.
He then explained the basic law on internet service provider liability to me (I am senior to him).

Anyway, I feel quite chuffed that I instantly recognised this was a METTM moment. In the past I would have felt a vague sense of powerless resentment. But I’m not sure what I can say next time I come across a METTM in the wild. As to last night, how could I have challenged his stream of verbiage?

OP posts:
CalamityJune · 23/11/2019 08:22

Agree with Crystal's approach.

CalamityJune · 23/11/2019 08:22

I don't think there's a need to belittle someone in front of others though, which I would consider a bit rude. Wouldn't you just tell them that yes, you're very familiar with this thanks, or show your detailed knowledge through your responses?

crystal1717 · 23/11/2019 08:19

Its a tough one. Easy to lòok joyless.

Try humble bragging - lightly and with humour but really pile it in, (and talk over them) - until they have a lightbulb moment and realise. That's what I normally do and it tends to work. It's pretty satisfying to gain their respect.

Once youre professional friends you can try "Are you mansplaining me?? :) Did you forget I ran the xxx project for 5 years? In person verbally not by text ! and with warm humour..
Then they might even bow down to your experience and ask questions which is also satisfying :)

I work in a quite senior role in engineering and I'm female.

Good luck

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/11/2019 08:06

I recently told one younger man, mid flow, that I was not his grandmother, nor did I suck eggs!

He looked puzzled. Most of the women around the table laughed! Another man muttered something about me having been rude. The young man stopped looking puzzled and looked very much affirmed! I fear I lost that one, may have made him worse! He was so very young too!

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