ROGD Parent Support

ROGD peeps:

Unless and until I get some clarification from a (female) mod that no posters here are having a 'special eye' kept on them by mods at the request of MN posters who don't believe in ROGD and think we're all abusive cunts, I'm not going to post further on this thread.

Please feel free to message me directly; I'm happy to share my email with any of the parents who've shared here up to now.

Best of luck; if I receive a reassuring clarification, I'll post it here too. Not holding my breath, sadly.

Great to hear an update Janes.

And what a moment it must have been to share that mother/daughter time with your girl. You must be so proud of how far she's come.

agree hobbies are great. especially if they are not based around screens

Yep.

There's something particularly mental-health promoting about creative hobbies too; making things, not just consuming things.

So happy at this news janeskettle! I agree hobbies are great. especially if they are not based around screens.

I also think it is very hard for us as parents/aunties/relatives to persuade our young people and I think there may be moments when people who should not transition will know this.

Leoaica Motanelul mentions ROGD in her video that I just posted.

I hope things will go well with her.

I am sorry if this is very heavy but it is very interesting.

Sorry Blaire

There is so much now.

(I actually like Blair White a lot, even though I don't agree with her politics!)

Thanks Bessy

The latest video from Benjamin A Boyce. Renegotiating womanhood- a detrans story with Laura. Parents of ROGD daughters might find this interesting. Laura was sexually harassed as a 12 year old.

Yes, great video.

And agreed, for parents, not for the GD kid.

Wow, janeskettle that is brilliant news.

I really recommend watching this for everyone affected by this as parents. Not sure how much young people would be able to connect with it, unless they found it themselves.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxVmSGTgNxI

Thanks italiangreyhound

Things are in a holding pattern here. Ds continues to not move forward with any steps towards social or medical transition. But I am pretty sure that he hasn't entirely let go of it either.

He is spending quite a lot of time on hobbies, which I think is helpful for mental health regardless.

My dd, who was binding for many years, asked me to go shopping with her to get some proper, supportive bras. I was allowed to come in with her and help her get the fit right. I was proud of her for acknowledging the reality of her sexed body, and for taking steps to ensure her comfort and health.

This Victoria Derbyshire programme is very interesting.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000dl50/victoria-derbyshire-21012020

From about 5 minutes in.

It's about 20 minutes. Victoria interviews a man who lived ‘as a woman’ for four years and has now de-transitioned.

Hi all, it's Janes with a new name.

Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is getting on.

I'm sorry to hear this Moink. We are a few weeks ahead of you with our almost 14 yo DD who has autism and I've just about stopped crying every time I think about it.
We are using the suggestions given here and are using her biological pronouns and just reminding her that girls cannot 'become' girls, no matter how many drugs or how much surgery they have.
She already had short hair and dresses in 'boys' clothing as I didn't see that as mattering too much. DD has taken these things to mean she 'must' be a boy and speaks freely of her conviction that she is supposed to have a penis.
DD is getting a lot of her 'information' from the internet. Plus she has some trans friends at school.
We've restricted her internet access quite a bit and have asked the school not to put her in classes with her affirming friends next year. They can't do anything this year but won't affirm her as male at school, thank goodness.
Keep reading and posting. It has given me a lot of comfort to know
I'm not alone online as IRL this seems like a very lonely place to be :(

Thanks meant to be XXXXX

Moink100 so sorry, very tough. Look after yourself as well as him. XX

I'm so sorry to hear what's happening Moink. This must be such a shock - all our thoughts are with you.

Janes and ROGD have given great advice. I can't add anything specific as my child was a lot older but you're right to think about what else might be going on.

Stay strong and know that you're not alone

Hi, I have been in your position although ours seems to have stopped this now. I would put controls on his internet. Look at reddit , discord and tumblr, they are not good places for an 11 year old to be. I would not allow any access. I would tell him straight that he cannot be a girl, and that anyone who says he can has their own agenda/ delusion going on. I would limit all screen time and get him out and active n the real world for hours every day. Don’t know how much his Dad is involved, but hope he’s available to. Really, walk , swim cycle paintball, get a dog, horse riding fishing, cooking, crochet art gardening wildlife,, whatever might prove absorbing. And listen and try to get to the bottom of what he feels is missing or wrong, but concede nothing, don’t let this delusion take hold.

*some not “sure” enquiries

I’ve just followed you back. Meant to say, be wary of the school. If I were you and had a trusted friend, I would get them to make sure general enquiries about their policy. My DD didn’t tell us and we obviously wish we’d been able to talk to the school before she did, but at the same time, if they positively affirm, you don’t want to get in too early in case they then push it on your son while he possibly just wants you to know and not the school! It’s all a very delicate balancing act!

Thank you both, both of those sites are open in my tabs, I have also followed you rodgmum on twitter if that's ok. I'm hoping it's just me being an overthinking mum, but I want to tread carefully and hope I can find out if there is something else going on. Thanks again, all help is much appreciated on what has been a very long weekend!!

I’ll add some comments on school (agree with Janes comments).

I would speak to school and find out whether they have a policy of positive affirmation if a child tells them they want to be identified as the opposite sex. Our school formally transitioned our daughter behind our back and then said we had no say as parents (we did then complain to the Head and it was upheld).

If the school does have a positive affirmation policy and you find your son wants the school to be told, there are strong arguments you can give to them (post again and I I’ll outline our complaint).

There are a couple of great U.K. parent support groups - Bayswater Support (@BayswaterSG on Twitter plus they have a new website with information for parents: www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/ ) and Our Duty (@OurDutyGrp Twitter). Do join them- they have been a brilliant support for me.