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Original poster

ROGD Parent Support

361 replies

iamright17 · 16/11/2019 00:34

This is a new thread for parents who are experiencing the phenomenon of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria in their tweens/ teens/ young adults.

Sadly we are being watched and our words taken out of context so please be careful what you say.

I want the UK and beyond to listen to parents. Even if it is deemed as anecdotal for now, it is important for someone to acknowledge our perspective. The trans narrative is trying to undermine our credibility.

OP posts:
findmeaname · 17/05/2020 22:43

No I'm not concerned about her being bi at all, I just mentioned that because ROGD thing seems to happen to gay kids, it seems part of the confusion.

I asked her about it after I saw it in the phone, I saw a post by her saying she'd told someone else online that she's a transmale. She got upset and said she wants to be a boy. I asked why and she said she doesn't like her body.

Voice0fReason · 17/05/2020 22:08

@findmeaname is it just that has declared herself Bi that concerns you?
Has she said anything about being trans or a boy or not a girl?

findmeaname · 17/05/2020 21:03

I just wanted to thank you all for this thread. I was frantically searching the internet for help on a topic I knew nothing about (so didn't know the correct terms to search etc) and somehow I stumbled across this. It's been a fountain of knowledge and pointed me in the direction of some excellent videos and resources.

I've got a 12 year old girl who's being assessed for ASD/ADHD and already declared herself bi aged 11. I'm shocked at how common it is for these girls to go through this, and so glad I've found some great advice on how to handle it. She didn't tell me, I found out by looking through her phone. For now I feel like that's a good thing as she's not so far down the rabbit hole that she made it a thing in real life. I'm hoping early intervention, and the fact she won't be back in school for some time, will enable me to reverse the damage. She's just a confused girl who's unhappy with her changing body and doesn't fit in with the other girls, and she's looking for answers. She was also the most feminine girl you'd ever meet, until quite recently. Seems like she's a classic case!

Anyway, thanks again.

BessyK · 10/04/2020 18:25

Parents of ROGD kids - here's the latest video from Benjamin A Boyce speaking to Sasha Ayad and Lisa Littman.

OhHolyJesus · 27/01/2020 19:40

That's really great STILLT as I think I've just seen a thread posting to Bayswater deleted.

I'm not an ROGD parent but I do think posting links to places to get help must be useful to those here, if only to provide options.

( I didn't get to post on the other thread so no idea why it was deleted. I hope it wasn't relating to what Bewilderness mentions.)

STILLT · 27/01/2020 13:19

You can access the U.K. based support group here,
www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

STILLT · 27/01/2020 13:15

Letter from a parent support group in the BMJ . There are increasing numbers of parents wrestling with this phenomenon
www.bmj.com/content/368/bmj.m215/rr-0

TheBewildernessisWeetabix · 27/01/2020 00:55

I don't understand how they can say they do their best when most of the data breaches have been a result of negligence.

Offering to put you in another room that is accessible to everyone as a means of protecting you is absurd.

janeskettle · 26/01/2020 21:46

Hmm.

If there hadn't been the whole intern thing a while back I'd have more faith in the privacy aspect of that answer. Maybe things have been tightened up since.

I still don't see why we can't have a direct answer - no, at no time will mods be allowed to keep a 'special eye' on parents posting in this thread, either off their own bat, because 'users' are reporting frequently, or because a TRA complains.

Original poster
iamright17 · 26/01/2020 11:11

I wrote
I do no trust Mumsnet Hq to keep my information safe and you may expose me and my child to Trans Right Activist who are out to bring down posters who are concerned about safeguarding. I need to safeguard my child and I realise I should not post anything that could cause The Trans Right Activists to get hold of my data and manipulate it.
I also asked them to delete my posts except for the starter thread. I changed my mind and self reported the posts that might contain too much data. Their reply below:

Hi There iamright17,

Thanks for getting in touch; we're so saddened to hear how you're feeling about TRA's potentially manipulating your data to serve their own ends.

We're sorry to hear you don't feel MN can keep your personal information safe; we do our very best to make sure no personal information is visible to anyone but the user themselves and moderators, when needed. Could we persuade you to opt for a name-change or perhaps we could move the thread elsewhere to make it less visible?

We know this is a subject that isn't going away anytime soon and your experiences and thoughts are so helpful in giving a voice to your perspective so we'd love for your posts to stand but we do understand your concerns.

Let us know what's best for you and we'll do our utmost to help.

OP posts:
janeskettle · 26/01/2020 03:51

ROGD peeps, I still haven't heard anything back from mods regarding this thread, and whether or not anyone is 'working with mods to keep a special eye' on it, or on the posters who post here.

Personally, I don't feel comfortable sharing personal experience without that clarification.

I'm reporting my own posts in this thread and asking for them to be removed.

Good luck to everyone as you deal with this distressing social phenomenon.

janeskettle · 26/01/2020 03:46

I'm sorry to hear that, iamright

Original poster
iamright17 · 26/01/2020 01:24

I told Mumsnet how influential LangCleg was in helping me with this. They have no idea how much a voice can help us parents. The person who fights for us has been banned. Why? Because they care. LangCleg did not have any skin in this. She did not have to go through the pain but she tried to help us even though she probably knew she would be held to account. Shame on mumsnet for not seeing the good. They listened to the reporters who had to be out to get her banned. They banned her because 50 odd reports were made. They did not consider the 500 people or more who needed her advice. That is the problem. Mumsnet should have said but the majority don’t agree. The majority didn’t report her posts so it stands to reason they all agree. It’s not that I don’t think Mumsnet is supportive. I just think they didn’t support the people who make a difference. All of us who are going through this need supported. Mumsnet has taken that support away. In reality, they have forgotten the aims of their website. They have lost the audience they are trying to help. They see a woman who has our back as wrong. If this is true what hope do we have. Where is the support. Is it just we will support you as long as you align to our rules or is it we will allow other people on this site to support you even if we disagree.? Is Mumsnet conditional on you say what I tell you is acceptable and if you don’t then off you go? If this is true then I do not want to be part of a support organisation that only allows me to get support on their terms. I want a variety of perspectives. I do not want a controlled response.

I am now reporting my post to ensure it is read by the moderators.
Please report this too

OP posts:
Original poster
iamright17 · 26/01/2020 00:53

Yes that’s the impression I get too.

OP posts:
TinseLANGel · 26/01/2020 00:13

FlowersFlowersFlowers all.

I know we all feel shaken by Lang's banning, but let me reassure you that MN are very supportive of support threads like these.

Original poster
iamright17 · 25/01/2020 23:25

Janes. I’m dealing with a new stage at the minute. I’m very distraught. Will get back to you regarding emails as soon as. Pretty much not functioning well sadly. Hoping for hope and peace. Don’t think I will get it

OP posts:
janeskettle · 25/01/2020 00:54

No worries

Original poster
iamright17 · 24/01/2020 23:25

Janes. I’m out again tonight. Will try tomorrow. My escape is being with my friends who thankfully are in my corner.

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janeskettle · 24/01/2020 04:58

OK, no worries, talk to you tomorrow iamright

Original poster
iamright17 · 24/01/2020 02:30

What I should have said is that not only is it late in Uk but I’m just back from a night out with a friend who listened to me ranting over a bottle of wine so I think best to discuss this when not under the influence. Although to be fair to me this is when I am most honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
iamright17 · 24/01/2020 02:18

I did get a reply to my concerns. I will Pm you tomorrow about this as it is very late now in the Uk. I can reassure you that they reassured me but I still asked for deletions of my post as I just wanted to be doubly sure that any TRA’s on mumsnet would not try to use my data. Personally I don’t give a toss about me. I just don’t want them stalking my child which I think they would as they have no boundaries. The Glitter family that tries to steal our kids by promising them the pot of gold. We know it’s sh** but our impressionable kids do not.

OP posts:
janeskettle · 23/01/2020 23:30

Have you had an email to clarify iamright17?

I have had one about another issue; the mod said they were snowed under with emails and to be patient. I thought maybe yours might be ahead of mine in the queue ?

I am a bit bothered by Justine's description of FWR as 'aggressive orthodoxy' and wonder if that will open the gates to pro-child transition posters being allowed to post on this thread ?

So many questions, so little clarity.

Original poster
iamright17 · 23/01/2020 13:07

Not sure what this means but obviously someone trying to police us. I have requested some of my posts to get deleted as can’t trust this.

“The Monitors” came from the Vice article linked earlier, as that is how the people doing this reporting describe it themselves:

...Christine, the mother of a trans child and also part of the network that regularly monitors Mumsnet. (Christine’s name has been changed for privacy reasons.)

Perhaps “the Network” would be clearer? Or “the Christines”?

OP posts:
BessyK · 22/01/2020 21:58

Under his eye.

Original poster
iamright17 · 22/01/2020 21:49

I’ve just messaged them too as equally concerned about that janes. Great news about your kids. We are right you see. We know our kids.

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