ROGD Parent Support

Thanks to the people with experience or interest in the issue at large for popping by and for your solidarity. I think that's why this feels like a good space for me; women have our backs here.

*What is happening is that gender non-conforming people are being engineered out of existence, all in the name of progress.

I'm bloody angry but I'm not allowed to say that in public for fear of alienating my own child.*

Same here. There is so much I cannot say under my own name, for fear of alienating my child/ren. I feel estranged from my own voice, and increasingly estranged from my children as a result.

I cannot understand - literally - how so-called progressive parents are embracing this most conservative of movements. To the extent that without the ability to access anonymous online support, I'd think I was going mad.

There is a pattern to ROGD - and it helps us to see how similar our stories are,
because in that way we can start joining up the dots.

Yep.

I find the peer exposure in many of our kids' stories (not all) interesting.

Before my son's diagnosis of GD, he spent a year in a pretty intense friendship with a girl who I belatedly discovered spent that year identifying as trans.

I know the genderist spin is that 'two like souls found each other', but given I know that before meeting her, he did not have GD, and after a year with her he did...hmm...

She, of course, has moved on. Not trans now. My son is left dealing with significantly messed up ideas about what it means to be a feminine male.

Sending love and support.

These kids are being completely failed.

Year Head made all the changes (told teachers to use he/him etc), then told her 17 year old brother but did not tell us. DS had to tell us.

As are these kids. I can not believe the year head thought this was in any way appropriate or considered the brother in anyway. And why putting the 'trans kid' front and centre might be about attention / sibling competition and is never ever thought about.

Thank you for starting this thread. Only parents who are dealing with this can really understand, but it's great to know that other people empathise and hear our concerns.

It is right that our young adult kids are being sold out - but it's really worse than that. What is happening is that gender non-conforming people are being engineered out of existence, all in the name of progress.

I'm bloody angry but I'm not allowed to say that in public for fear of alienating my own child.

Sending support for this very valuable thread. I shall be lurking and learning.

I offer nothing but support and well wishes with this thread, much like the trans widows thread, I think this is very much needed and the ideal place. I'll be lurking and sending strength to you all.

Hi, my 13 year old is autistic and is flirting with this. When she was 11 she was begging me to have her breasts surgically removed and asked me this year (quite casually) if she could take blockers. I asked her how she knew about them and she said 'everyone knows about them'.

It terrifies me. Her ASD makes her so vulnerable. Naturally, she thinks I'm a hideous bigot.

Good luck with the thread.
I don't have a child with ROGD, but I do have 13 year olds and know how vulnerable children are.

It's so important that you can speak out and share your experiences with others so that you can support each other and talk together. I'm sure many parents and children will welcome this thread.

Thank you for starting this support thread.

Parents are in such a difficult position - we love our children and want to do everything we can to keep them as safe as possible and prevent them cutting off from us. This is especially difficult once they get to 18.

Anything we say that is not what they want to hear is used against us and taken as evidence that we are unsupportive - and worse.

The current climate does not help and it makes parents who don't/can't affirm feel completely isolated and alone.

I was told by my young adult daughter that she doesn't want us to understand, just to accept.

I can agree to disagree, using that as a starting point for discussion and to hopefully find some common ground. But all my pleas for moving forward in this way have fallen on deaf ears.

I've come to the conclusion that the only way for my young adult daughter to transition medically is for her to cut the past dead. She has been helped to do this by several key individuals.

There is a pattern to ROGD - and it helps us to see how similar our stories are,
because in that way we can start joining up the dots.

It's the irreversible interventions that I can't accept. I couldn't give a fig how my kid dresses or does, I'm ok with the different name and pronouns (although that was hard) , but surgical alterations and hormones for someone with significant MH issues who is autistic? And way below the emotional maturity of others the same age? I dare anyone to call me transphobic for not wanting that.

Sorry, should add, it came on completely out of the blue, after a period of what I think was bullying by some other girls in their class, suddenly they decided to join the rainbow crew having shown no signs, a couple of others at their school have "come out" and they are friends with them now. They seem happier which is great, but it's a shame they are asking for irreversible surgery just to fit in.

I'm not a ROGD parent, but a young relative of mine has 100% bought into the ideology, identifies as NB, wants surgery and hormones (to make "them" look more masculine) the whole lot. I'm forced to call them "them".

I really despair that these children are being sold basically a fashion trend that could cost them their future fertility and health, and uses up our already stretched health services.

This thread is a very good idea.

You can find other parents in the same situation via Parents of ROGD kids: www.parentsofrogdkids.com/
It's based in the US but there's a UK and Europe group linked to it.

iamright - no therapy offered at all, despite the service specification saying it should be provided.

Best wishes to you all

I’m here too. 14 year old DD announced to school at the start of October that she was a boy (a year ago had announced she was asexual and non binary). Year Head made all the changes (told teachers to use he/him etc), then told her 17 year old brother but did not tell us. DS had to tell us. Have since had a full apology from the school as the YH had completely made up policy. He tried to push Mermaids onto me as well and was most unhappy to find out that we were not singing to the dictated by the school hymn sheet (he’d called me in after I spoke to him about the pronouns to make sure we were “singing from the same hymn sheet” while making it clear the school would not budge from their policy- all lies)

There’s lots of support on Twitter as well- private groups and parents posting anonymously. I’m @rodgmum if you want to follow me or see a bit more about what we are going through.

All the best from me too.

Just to wish you all the best with this thread. I'll be lurking and reading and sending silent support. And if you get invaded, I'll be here in a shot.