"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

Of course Sir doesn't mean Sir or Madam. I have worked in lots of offices, and we would always use Sir or Madam, not just Sir. At my current employer we sometimes get letters addressed to just 'Sir' - this doesn't go down well with the mostly female team.

That is for formal letter writing.
In a fast paced office environment where we could easy send 50+ emails a day EVERYTHING is abbreviated.
So yes it does include women. Dont tell me that it doesnt when i have years of experience in using it myself to include women.

You’re wrong though, it literally doesn’t include women, it’s dated and I consider it unprofessional these days. I would ignore anything addressed in that way.
No office is so fast-paced that you can’t type one five letter word.

My own examples: being called “girls” in a professional environment (I corrected one man in front of a class full of students and he insisted I was a girl, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not, he got huffy).

I earn double what my husband does yet our mortgage company sends letters addressed to him and only he was given a vote in their AGM recently, yes I complained.

I work on the ambulance in a retirement town as a paramedic - I experience sexism daily from patients. Normally they are elderly so I do let it slip by (generation thing).

I get "oh you have 2 pretty young lady nurses coming for you bob!" Normally from the wife with them.

"Oh you will need to call some burley men to carry him down the stairs, he's very heavy" hold my pint

"So, do you drive as well?" Yes. Yes I do.

"George the ambulance men are here, oh...." que confused looks

They do turn out to be lovely people after they get over the initial shock - so I'm yet to be offended by it.

And my all time favourite after telling the patient they should go to hospital/stay at home self care/or book an appointment with the GP. Turns to less qualified male colleague "and what do you think?" To which the male colleague answer "she's the paramedic not me so do as she says"

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I have never come across or seen Dear Sirs used as unisex. Always dear sir/madam.

If 'Dear Sirs' is short for 'Dear sir/madam' and therefore covers both men and women then it would be ok to use 'Dear Madams' and assume it covers men too right?

Nope, not a surrendered wife, Findumdum1. I left my abusive husband some years ago and haven't lived with anyone else except my DC since then.

I'd be touched if my boss cared enough about my welfare that he wanted a text to say I was home safely. There are more important things to kick off about imo.

People saying Mr And Mrs, always Mr first

@Notabadger - it's even worse than you think- most lions are female!

*My boss always used to ask me to text him and let him know I got home ok when I’d been on a client site.

I pointed out he never asks the men on the team to do this and it’s sexist and infantilising and refused.*

I confess to being a bit ambivalent about that one, and it does (appear to) be well intended. I used to be more concerned about the young women I worked with getting home safely after our horrendously boozy company parties than the young men, in general

I know it seems like nothing to just add the extra word on but seriously the pace of emails going back and forth in this places can be off the chain.
Half the managers only sign off emails with "best" or their initial.
Its like when you have a company like Boodle & Dunthorne people may just say "Boodles". I dont find abbreviations offensive.

@hopelesssuitcase

That is for formal letter writing.
In a fast paced office environment where we could easy send 50+ emails a day EVERYTHING is abbreviated.
So yes it does include women. Dont tell me that it doesnt when i have years of experience in using it myself to include women.

I was taught to write "Dear Sir or Madam" if you didn't know the names or sex. "dear sirs/madams" would do wouldn't it? Sirs does not include women, it just doesn't.

@sillysmiles
Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term....since when has dear sirs meant anything other than men???

Since about god knows how many years ago when people have been using it collectively to just address a group of people in formal business emails.
Like i said it has roots in obviously being addressed to men, however in pretty much every office i have worked in, which over the last 10-15 years due to temping & various jobs is many, we use it to mean men & women.
Personally i think of all the acts of sexism that we need to tackle, this would be bottom of the pile. But that is just my opinion.

Hair cutting availability. There are at least 10 barber shops within a mile of my house, all very cheap even for the turkish hot towel thing they do, but try to find a place that cuts ladies' hair for a decent price. It's a trip to town and not much for under £20. And I don't want the whole wash/trim/style thing, just a half inch off the bottom and fringe evened out. There's a unisex one but the last time I went there I had to wait nearly an hour because the designated person who cuts ladies' hair was busy. She said I should make an appointment next time even though the sign says walk-ins are welcome.

@ebearhug yes me too.

I think more options for more flexible working will benefit everyone, men, women, parents, non-parents - and the more men and non-parents make use of flexible options and part-time working, the sooner it will no longer be seen as something just mothers need. Most of my Dutch colleagues (all men) do 4 day weeks - it's really not remarkable there.

You have a PhD and you like being treated as if you were a "helpless" idiot? Do you realise how that sounds? You're not one of those surrendered wives are you?

@chattylion I'm part time myself so I certainly do value those policies.

Why the implication though that they're only for women? Why no similar expectation of men? Why can't we campaign for better flexible/part time working for all parents (including single parents, male or female)? Is childcare really only a concern for "working mums" while men just carry on as if nothing has changed?

OK here's a micro act. Random men in the street commenting on my body and exercise in a way that I don't think men would be subject to.

Recent incident was when I was pushing our baby around in the pram to get him to sleep, a guy with a voice like Brian Blessed boomed at me "See, all this walking is good for you". Bastard woke up my baby with his inane comment. I was so upset.

Angel and naked fair enough if not relevant to you but these are not just ‘well meaning’ policies, they are essential to life.

Because not all women have partners who can share or even help with childcare, at which point the policies lined up above are essential supports to staying employed and solvent and still seeing your kids. 90plus% of single parent households are still headed by women.

Fine if you personally don’t need to use those policies but thousands of women depend on them and so do their workplaces for their contribution to productivity and diversity.

Because it doesn't matter to you, doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Having a doctorate isn't particularly special and has nothing to do with your attitude towards men and every day sexism.

The fact you were allowed to do one means you are benefitting from the actions of women who have gone before you. Your post still doesn't make much sense.

arranged a estate agent appointment, no mention of dh but he was on file as we'd used them before. correspondence Mr and Mrs DH first name surname.

mentioned it at the end of the appointment that they might want to review and not piss off potential customers. next letter amended 👍

Unsure about whether it actually matters. I don't think it does, because I am completely old-fashioned and like being treated like a helpless Miss/Mrs Parnassum, even though I could say "I have a Doctorate, thanks very much".

I also like the fact that DP walks on the muddy side of the road and treats me as if I were special.

Other than that, I also think a bit of banter makes the world go round. And if it saves me from having to do a shit job that I don't want to do, I'll go with it.

@DrGradusAdParnassum what are you unsure about? Your post makes absolutely no sense. Van driving and some nearly touched your bottom?