"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

With the Mr and Mrs thing it could be that it is processed automatically and is done alphabetically. Sometimes that will be first names or surnames but often it is on the title - so it would go Miss, Mr, Mrs if all were listed.

Of course, that is no excuse for not using Dr etc!

The worst I heard recently was that terrible child murder that was reported yesterday.
The first time I heard the news item it said " A mother who murdered her children was sentenced......" then eventually added that the father was also found guilty of the crime.
Later bulletins did correct it to "Parents who murdered their children..."

@beethebee wow makes me glad I only get this over the phone!

I also work in a technical field in a male-dominated industry.

Generally I am alone in the office, but have a part-time male assistant.

If he is in and a new client comes in they invariably look to him to try to organize their site visit. He knows how much to pisses me off and has taken to saying ' I'm just here to look pretty. If you want someone to come on site you need to talk to Bee'.

Strangely, if clients are coming in for admin tasks, they are quite happy to talk to me.

If I'm alone in the office, I'm frequently asked to pass a message on to the person who'll be coming on site. I have had clients literally exclaim with surprise that I'd be coming myself and even had one tell me very doubtfully that I couldn't come in heels, and would have to have steel-toe boots. Couldn't hold back the eye-roll on that one.

When I went to collect DD's new bike from Halfords (I was the one who had taken her to choose it and paid for it) young male shop assistant showing me all the bits and pieces - 'this is how you adjust it. I'm sure you're husband will have a spanner at home.'

DP's mother is ill and in hospital. When he goes to see her, hospital staff always make a fuss of him- he's been called an angel, a blessing, an amazing son etc. OTOH, his sister, who has been there every single day does all of MIL's washing, helps her with the commode, doesn't get any of this praise. (TBF DP always points out how amazing his sister is.) I'm really surprised that doctors and nurses do this- they're otherwise lovely.

@Wishiwascrafty

The ED where I worked received a written complaint that a patient "had only seen a nurse". I had done a full neuro exam. The icing on the cake was that the patient turned out to be an off-duty member of hospital staff

I work as a doctor in an emergency department.
‘My name is wish, I’m one of the doctors. What’s brought you to the ED tonight?’
Discussion. Examination. Likely diagnosis and plan provided to patient.
‘Thanks nurse’ or ‘can I see the doctor?’ Every day. Not every patient but at least one every day.

Hmmm Ihave many appts, never seen this happen.

@WeeMadArthur on the "Mr & Mrs" thing, when my mum had a joint mortgage with her XH in the 1980s, the bank did a share giveaway. Shares can only be owned by an individual but the computer system (apparently) could only possibly allocate them all to one recipient per account, and that had to be the first person named on a joint account. Obviously, because we say Mr & Mrs, it was always the man who got them. She's still furious 35 years later.

@StrictlyNameChangin

Took my dad with me to pick up my new car, just because he fancied a nose around the showroom. I had done all the negotiations, I paid for it. Salesman hands the key to my dad

When paying for a bill in a restaurant without fail they always give it to my husband despite the fact that I always ask for the bill and I always pay for the meal on the credit card

I drink Guinness and DH drinks fancy craft ales in 1/2 pint glasses, so I wouldn't be suprised if staff mixed them up.

But the waiter/waitress always does exactly the same thing - brings the drinks to the table and says "Guiness?" to which I reply "mine". They never presume, and they never presume with the food either. It's pretty weird to do that and I've only ever heard about it on MN, not in real life.

We don’t eat out much but every time my DH orders fish, or a risotto I get handed it instead and he gets my steak!

I took out an RSPB family membership, filled in the form with my details first, then DHs , payment was from my bank account. First letter from them was addressed to Mr & Mrs. I contacted them and told them that it was sexist and to change it to be Mrs & Mr, and they did. It really annoyed me that they would actually go to the trouble of inputting the data against the order I had filled in the form, just to make sure that the man took precedence!

40 years ago when I was interviewed for a teaching post I was asked what my husband did for a living and if he minded me having a career.

Last year a young friend who is a police officer attended an incident in a shop. She is late 20's, over 6' tall and was wearing full kit: hi-viz, anti stab vest, all the equipment. She was with a younger lower ranking male colleague. The shop manager walked past her and addressed the male, even though she was clearly in charge and even after being directed to speak to her by the other officer.

Oh god yes the amount of conversations in shops when the Male sales assistant & my own DH grrrr do the “ooooh she’s out spending your money/well I just do as I’m told ahaha” arfhggggggggg. I earn my own fucking money fgs! No one has ever said to my DH that he’s out spending my money

And yes in the great scheme of things it’s not a massive annoyance but it’s the drip drip drip reinforcing all the stereotypes about men & women & society

This is something i've notice more and more recently.
My DH and I don't have babies but a lot of or friends do now (late twenties, early thirties), when we go visit them- the baby is always thrust upon me very quickly and the boys are suggested a trip to the pub. I don't normally mind because I am there to see my friends (usually the female) but i'd much prefer to go to the pub than hold the baby as I am not maternal at all!
I am also the breadwinner at home and look after all the finances, DH is always passed the bill and card- even if I have handed it over to start with!
Same with garages, my dad always taught me how to do practical things, like look after the car/change plugs/DIY etc. but anything in a male dominated type industry, I am always assumed to have no clue.
Started to drive me mad!!

@XXcstatic Grrrr at that one!!

I went to buy a car. Took my dad

1. Multiple sales reps constantly talking to him instead of me, even after having it pointed out
2. Multiple assumptions that I wouldn't understand anything technical and talked to my dad not me
3. I took him in the first place because it gets more sense out of a salesman (and yes, they we all men) than going by myself

(I bought a car from the first salesman who spoke to me not him and could talk sensibly to a woman about car specs.)

Not long after that my Dad's car was written off, and he wanted my help car shopping for him. I'm more savvy and a bolder negotiator!

4. When I asked a question they'd answer it to him.

I have very short hair (similar to my husband's) He used to go to a barber in town, who charged £5. One day, I went in to speak to my husband whilst he was having his hair cut, and the barber said "I can do yours too, if you like...only £10".

I do a lot of ultra long haul flights with Emirates. When DH comes along I am the booker, the payer and the Gold frequent flyer yet all the confirmations and emails are addressed to him!

I upgraded us last my year using my points and again the confirmation email was to him!

I accidentally double booked once and I called the call centre (uk based!) who asked for the booking details and said 'oh yes two bookings under Mr X'. We aren't even married. We have totally different names so there have no excuse!

"Oo you work in a Solicitors? Are you a secretary are you?" SAID NO ONE TO A MAN EVER BUT MANY A TIME TO ME! And i had my own assistant not that it matters!!

"The managers not available?! When will HE be available?" When SHE is back from her lunch!!!

Miss or Mrs? ITS NOT FUCKING RELEVANT!

Passing me the wine & my male date the beer. Nope, other way round mate

Oooo theres LOADS i could think of. I just love proving people's stereotypes wrong though!!!

I'm a coke drinker (can't tolerate aspartame). DH always gets given my coke and I always get his diet coke...

He used to be a veggie and we had the same thing as others - big meaty meals to him, dainty veggie ones to me.

SO many, particularly in children’s books and TV - We’ve been watching Fireman Sam (fair enough, he’s a man) but the female firefighters still use the fireMAN’s pole, and can MAN the fire station telephone. Annoying.

Safestyle representative knocked on my door yesterday, I’m interested in a new front door. Said they would only come back for a quote appointment if both DH AND I were there. Refused to speak to me alone, as apparently they’ve spoken to women before, and then the husband looks at the wife’s choices and everything gets changed, and they have to come out again. I told them I’d find another company who were happy to deal with a woman on her own. What utter bollocks!!

When it comes to work, have a technical job in a male dominated industry

Parked in the doctor's parking space. Told "You can't park there, it's for the doctor"

If I can muster the energy to even cut my nails, I consider it top quality grooming these days but no, as I am a woman, I must be longing for a daughter so we can go and make ourselves look attractive to men

Agree, and even worse - and creepy AF - is all the protective dad stuff about baby girls and future boyfriends - dads imagining their responses to their daughters dating when that daughter is still a newborn, saying they will kill any boy who looks at her etc. Simultaneously focusing on a girl as a future sexual object while denying that she will have sexual desires. Impossible to imagine it being said of a baby boy.