"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

One example I had was a potential client was OUTRAGED when I quoted him a fee he thought was too high. Fair enough. Except his arguments were loud, offensive and rude and I don't for one second believe he would have spoken to a male consultant with 20 years experience in that tone. He was actually ANGRY at me for daring to suggest a fee (the irony is that I'd offered him a reduced fee because of how he'd been introduced as a favour. hahahaha. If I ever see him again I might have to accidentally drop a few old invoices to other clients).

I'm much braver behind a keyboard than in real life, so I probably wouldn't have dared go into the gents alone (even if I had been wearing trousers!!) although will send a terse email.

Not a sexism one but a racism one I overheard the other day and made me want to scream. Two middle aged men in discussion, one white, one black. White one is some kind of manager for our local library/community centre (I've' seen him before). Based on conversation, the black man works there. Black man trying to make a point. White man says, while putting his finger to his lips, "shhhh, I'm talking."

Although not sure that's micro racism or pure full on racism!

DD and DS both late teenagers both working in the same restaurant.

DS gets asked where he is going after the summer or which university he attends.

DD is assumed to be in a permanent job clearing plates and wiping tables.

OhDear2200
DCIRozHuntley

I will email them, it really pisses me off that it's always 'budge up you women'

I don't think they are legally allowed to either, although there were separate ladies and gents toilets upstairs.

I'm a manager in financial services, when customers want a manager they almost always presume I will be a man and use make pronouns in their request

Newspaper articles about a woman usually add her age. They generally don't for a man.

The sports sections of newspaper rarely have anything on women's sport. If it is something like beach volleyball it will be in the main section.

"Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term with obvious roots in a more sexist past, but nowadays its to be presumed the recipients could be any gender

Oh come off it. 'Dear Sirs" wasn't sexist when all the senior management of all organisations were male. It is now. It needs to change, in the same way as we have changed many other naming conventions, such as calling Mark Jones' wife Mrs Mark Jones, instead of Mrs Sarah Jones (which would previously have meant she was divorced).

Funny how it is almost always women who are expected not to mind being excluded by language. So "Dear Sirs" is still widely used but senior male nurses are called charge nurses, not Sister.

You mention you asked your doctor/dentist/accountant/manager something, and the person you are telling will ask " What did he say?".

Stand up meetings at work. The taller team members talk directly over the heads of the rest of us. Not necessarily sexist.

Talk of recruiting a new technical architect or software developer, and what he will be responsible for.

Attended an event recently and about the third of the speakers were female. The men speakers were generally tall and in business casual, some quite scruffy
The women speakers were smartly dressed and well groomed.
Not sure if that is sexist but it was noticeable.

Being called " love" or " darling" in a shop. Please don't. You don't know me.

Women should start using the men’s loos at Derby Uni - as we are not provided with any of our own. Or pee in the pot plants??!!

TheShoesa I went to Derby Uni and I know the loos you mean. Surely they can't do that? (Legally I don't think they can)

I was due a tax rebate earlier this year, they sent me a cheque but it was made out to Mrs instead of Miss, despite me putting Miss on the form. I tried paying it in to my bank but it was refused, purely due to the incorrect title. I phoned HMRC to ask if they could re-issue the cheque with my correct title, they told me it would take eight weeks so annoying and unnecessary.

This week I've been looking for a new hiking rucksack. One national retailer has 89 rucksacks on their website. If you filter it to show women's rucksacks only that number then goes down to 3.
Another retailer has 1568 rucksacks, but only 85 of these are for women. I don't want a rucksack cut for a man/ unisex.

Empress, in a crowded shop a man put one hand on the back of my waist to move me - I automatically stiffened my whole body away from his hand in a show of offence AND HE APOLOGISED!

But stepping back onto his foot sounds like a good plan, too.

What, what, what TheShoesa

That’s terrible.

I went to a meeting at Derby University Enterprise Centre today. On the ground floor there are 3 available toilets.

1. Mens (Picture of person in trousers - I was wearing a skirt or might have braved it!!)
2. Accessible (Picture of person in wheelchair)
3. No picture, huge sign saying Gender Neutral

I went in there. Standard cubicles opening onto washbasin area. I will be emailling Derby university to ask (a) why there aren't separate Women's toilets and (b) why the Gents isn't the gender neutral space

Yes to staff in car garages/car retailers/ white goods talking to DH & making all eye contact with him, even if it's my purchase!

The assumption that "Mum" will work PT or be a SAHP while Dad works FT. The assumption all working women will become PT after having kids.

Tradespeople assuming I'm married, asking me to run quotes past "your man" for a decision. This includes when they know nothing about my title or who lives in our home

When shopping for new bathroom fixtures, the sales bloke hadn't been talking to me, but only my husband. When he tried to sell a toilet by switching his eye contact finally from husband to me saying 'it lifts off at the hinges for you love, easy cleaning'. I walked away without another word. Not sure if that's micro or not!

My pint of ale is ALWAYS given to my partner. Every time.

I work in tech. I'm often the only woman in the room and the most senior. Approval is often directed at the male lead (who then has to turn to me and ask if it's ok)

Cold callers in particular always assume I am the secretary and when they are told we are not interested in their product they are insistent that a manager or owner of the business would be. I own 50% and make the majority of decisions.
Servers always assume the Diet Coke is for me and the Coke for him (but I previously assumed because he was a bigger build to me).
Technical conversations always directed at the man.
But the one that really annoyed me recently was when asking if they sold 'Sidi' shoes in Evans being told they dont sell high heels.

I think these little things happen so often and have done for so long that we become immune to then, but we shouldn't, they should be pointed out for the shit they are!

As for the technical job comments, I briefly worked for a company which imported shiploads of a particular product. The terminal manager is a woman. Hard hat, hi viz the full shebang. She told me that people walking into the terminal often walk straight past her & go straight to the oldeat male

And of course every time I ring an insurance company or utility they always ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - I always say Ms but feel like saying “mind your own business, do you ask the men their marital status?” This is finally done less often these days.

I’m the only woman in my department. If some technical/maintenance person comes to fix something they always speak to my colleagues - even when I’m the one in charge!

"Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term with obvious roots in a more sexist past, but nowadays its to be presumed the recipients could be any gender. Same as "manning" the firestation i see that as a term for both genders.

Its like nowadays Actor is gender neutral. You can still say Actress, however when we talk about the actors on set, we use it meaning both genders.

When DD1 was a baby, DH took her for her vaccinations as I hadn't passed my driving test. He was always asked if I knew she was having them and consented.

I was never asked if he had consented when I took her!