"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

@LadyLooLaa is it because cave women know that humans didn't evolve until many, many millions of years after the extinction of the dinosaurs?

As a waitress I'd say about 95%of the time it is the man eating the mixed grill/ rump steak and the woman eating the salad/veggie meal.
It's also just about always men drinking Guinness and the woman drinking pink gin.

I always ask though, I never just assume and plonk it down.

Similar to the OP, was getting an EasyJet flight and when they checked our boarding passes it was "thank you Louise, thank you Mr Brown" etc.

From my perspective things are slowly changing. By no means fast enough however.

I first joined the Civil Service over 30 years ago as a junior grade. There was me and about 5 blokes on our team in the MoD. All the same grade, all equally qualified. It was me that was always asked to make tea and serve refreshments to one of the Directors and his guests. I dutifully did so, was polite and respectful, but got more and more pissed off. I complained to my Manager that it wasn't fair that only I was expected to do this and was told that the clients expected a young lady to serve the refreshments. This was 1985 of course!

I had a job to do and wasn't given any dispensation for not doing it because I was poncing about making tea, coffee and arranging biscuits on a tray with a doily several times a day! I had to spend my own time catching up on my work. Not the blokes no, they could just crack on with their work.

Then one day the Director came to see me and my boss to tell me that he had been so embarrassed that all the drinks they had been served the day before had been clap cold and that the biscuits hadn't been presented 'properly' and that he had felt it necessary to apologise to the clients. I should be utterly ashamed of myself for letting him down. This was clearly all my fault and my Manager happily agreed with him.

Until I pointed out that I'd been on leave that day and had asked a male colleague to take over the refreshment duties. He hadn't even noticed it wasn't me who had gone into his office to serve the refreshments.

Somehow it was still my fault though for not giving him the most explicit instructions as to how to serve drinks whilst they were hot and the art of presenting biscuits, but from that day on the Director used the company catering service for all his client refreshment needs. He was an old dinosaur though. A nice bloke but just not equipped to deal with equality in the workplace.

Funny thing is that I'm now more senior than he was back then. Although he had a wanky Director title, I don't. CS grades have changed a lot since then. He used to use his very much post wartime rank - Major - as he was in the TA, as he thought it impressed his MoD colleagues. My equivalent rank is Colonel. I hope it pisses him off.

It's a long time since I've gone to a meeting with a junior male colleague where the interviewee has responded to my male colleague rather than me. Although it certainly did happen. It is good to see that many of the senior managers I meet with these days are women. And all are equally encouraging to every junior colleague I take with me, whether they be male or female.

Bitter, me? A little maybe.... I do still laugh at them glugging back on cold tea!

iheartspiders it's extremely annoying and very frequent. I live in Spain, so everyday sexism is rather ramped up!

@elQuintoConyo "Giving me the salad and my husband the steak - waitress or waiter, doesn't matter. Every. Single. Time."

^THIS, but with us it's me who gets given DHs veggie/vegan meal (because why wouldn't a MAN be eating meat?)

Aroundtheworld for one vaccination appt for my child the letter said the mother had to bring the child. I was really cross about this and when I went I made a point of saying how awful I thought it was, surely fathers should be encouraged to take a hands on role etc. They said it was because the mother automatically has parental responsibility and the father does not necessarily have it. As I pointed out, they would just need a few extra sentences to explain that whoever brought the child must have parental responsibility and who has this.

They smiled and nodded. I doubt if anything got changed.

Yes, not micro, just sexism!!

A lot of these aren’t very micro!
When selling our house, I arranged for the EAs to visit to do a valuation, and showed them around on my own. They asked who else owned the property and took DP’s name. One then sent the quote addressed to him only. They didn’t get the business.

Why is it worse on your decree absolute to be Mrs?

Anyone can be a Miss or Mrs. You don’t have to be married or unmarried to use them. I use Miss, Mrs and Ms as and when I feel like it.

I've started playing Patriarchy Chicken after noticing males just assuming I'd be one to move aside on the pavement. It's quite good fun.

Also Patriarchy Chicken: Aquatic Version. Males who assume I'll let them go first in the swim lane even though we're about the same speed. Denied.

MIL was driving. I was in the passenger seat in front. We stopped to ask directions, I asked a man. He stuck his head up to the window to lean it into the back and tell my partner the way

At work I get asked a lot of questions (often interrupting me while I’m at my desk) about where certain people are, where are the toilets, what time is the meeting starting etc. I think it is assumed that the men are too busy and important to be interrupted.
I reckon male administrators must have an easy life with no one ever bothering them!
If I go out for a run I will often get encouraging comments from men. They are perfectly nice ( I know some receive unpleasant attention) but I think they wouldn’t say that to a man.
I also get the meals and drinks thing, DH is very health conscious but it’s assumed that I’m the one having salads and Diet Coke.
If you all have to pile in the back of the car the man gets to sit in the front because his legs are one inch longer than the women who have to squish in the back with their wider hips.
Having loads of comments about my outfits, again nice things are said, but no one seems to notice what the men wear.

DH reading a book about animals to our child
Book:'the most noticeable thing about lions is their mane'
DH : 'erm...only 50% of them!'
Too bloody right!

@GaraMedouar I put my house on the market 2 weeks ago, I phoned the agent to arrange for them to come round, I negotiated the fee and decided the asking price, the agent never even met my husband. He was still ‘client 1’ on the terms and conditions, I got told off by the agent for signing in the client 1 box 😤 I did say that given he’d only met me and the whole thing was based on my instructions, I presumed my name would be first!

@Fishcakey the phrase "you don't know you're born" fits here. What privilege.

The on-line DBS checking service assumes any woman using the title ‘Ms’ is a divorcee. Worse than that. It then insists on knowing your ‘previous names’ because you wouldn’t, y’know, have kept your own?

I had to phone my gas company when we moved house to change something about the direct debit. They told me they needed to speak to the first named account holder (my husband) so that he could authorise them to speak to me.

My husband had never spoken to this company, but his name had been inputted first (obviously 🙄). We go to the point when I told that my husband would be getting in touch for a refund for the past 2 years as he had never given authority for them to set an account in his name before they would accept that I was the bloody account holder.

Whoops. I mean my decree absolute. Even worse.

20 years ago I remember registering at an estate agents with my ExH. They started to put the names on the form and tried to put my ExH’s name first. I said , no, put me down as the lead name please. That was apparently an unheard thing to do and the estate agent struggled to get their head round that and kept insisting they wanted to put ExH down first. I insisted more, and made them put me down first . I’m sure they looked at ExH as if, poor thing, hen-pecked.

This is kind of meta, but my decree nisi came with a letter addressed to Mrs LaBarbera.

My Dad dropped me off at the service centre to collect my car, I check in at reception, Dad and I go and sit down. Same woman comes over with invoice and key, give them both to my Dad. He says ‘nothing to do with me’ and she passes over to me with zero apology or bashfulness.

@Mummyoflittledragon

There’s no way of knowing what he presented with. You don’t know if you had a similar problem to him. No way a doctor would have revealed that to you. Next.

More toxic masculinity than traditional sexism but going to have a chat with my son's teacher about fighting among the little boys, and the first thing they say being "well it's quite normal with boys" - this has happened every time I've ever bought up behavioural issues with young boys, with multiple different teachers saying it!