"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

Had to take my own Dad down a peg or 2 when he found out that Husband & I split all rent/bills equally - basically he was making 2 massive assumptions that my Husband must obviously earn more than me & that the men look after Woman and pay for things!

Really annoyed me fgs - he won't make assumptions like that in future lolz!

Never mind the micro acts! Did anyone hear Women’s Hour today? Two women who were clearly paid less than equivalent men - eg the chef on £16k after ten years while a Male equivalent earned £23k after 18 months. They took their employers to tribunals at massive expense, were subsequently dismissed and their lives destroyed. What hope for any of us?

Those Male-specific ‘Chairman of the Board’ and ‘Master of college’ job titles held by women, drive me a bit nuts. They are making tokens of themselves, anomalies in a sexist structure rather than changing the structure to make it normal for a woman to hold that job or position.

Then sometimes women’s job titles are kind of erased by expectations that only men do that job. Like in ‘writer’ (applies to both sexes) and ‘female writer’. You never see a man called a ‘Male writer’.

Or in those ‘the making of...’ bits in the big natural history documentary programmes, where they describe a mixed-sex ‘camera operator’ crew going off to film the troupe of hippos, then when a male camera operator is talking about what he’s doing, he’s called a ‘cameraman’ in the voice over. Because that is clearly a respected Male thing.
But then when the woman camera operator is talking about what she is doing, she’s never called a ‘camerawoman’. So her contribution and work is clearly not seen as a thing.

Our new nursery was sending the emails with all the things we need to bring in/ dress up days etc (ie the wife work) to me and the invoices to my husband. They now know to send them to me otherwise they will get ignored as the last one did!
Strange assumption to make considering people using private day nurseries tend to use them because both parents bring in the money...

My DC dad and I are divorced, see share care of DC 50/50. I have moved to the next town over and moved Doctors surgeries, but the one in my town is quite inefficient and hard to get appt, whilst the GP practice in ex's town is much better run, so we have kept the DC registered there. Took my then 4 year old in for his immunisations and ended up in a 10 minute argument with first the receptionist, then the health visitor that the DC would have to be registered at my GP surger and DC would have to have his immunisations there. I argued that they live in this postcode half the time, and that there was no more of an argument for them to be registered at my surgery than there was at their dad's one. They kept saying, but they have to be registered with the mum, but couldn't answer why. On and on it went, with my pointing out ExH was also their parent and care was shared 50 50 so we were BOTH primary carers and he was equally likely to bring them to see the GP or HV as me etcetc. Eventually practice manager got called, who luckily saw my pov instantly, and discreetly tore a strip off the HV and receptionist and called the argument sexist nonsense. The practice rang both me and my exH later in the day to apologise and say they were putting a policy in place in case of similar future situations.

I also have a lovely work-related story.

I fly large long haul airliners. Some parts of the world I fly to have a slightly dated view of women (mainly talking about the Middle East here.) One day, while passengers were getting on the plane, the senior cabin crew member called me and said she had a passenger who wished to speak to me. He had refused to show his boarding card to any of the all-female cabin crew and said his religion meant he could not and would not speak to them. He was really rather rude about it too. She had politely said to him that he MUST show a boarding card to someone. He replied 'get me a man, I can show it to him.' She replied that there were no male cabin crew working on that flight. So he furiously demanded 'get me the pilot then.' That's when she called me. I offered him the option of showing the cabin crew his boarding card or flying with another airline. He suddenly found he was able to talk to women .

All the broadband ads are along the lines of it’s “dad” sorting it out for the family - BT broadband does it and there’s another I noticed on the radio. In my house I am the only one sorting broadband as I am the only adult.

With the Mr and Mrs thing it could be that it is processed automatically and is done alphabetically. Sometimes that will be first names or surnames but often it is on the title - so it would go Miss, Mr, Mrs if all were listed.

That's just crap programming, then.

Just heard an advert on the radio for some insurance company (Admiral, I think)...something along the lines of man has been so busy with life admin lately, last week it was his wife's car insurance and now the home insurance.

WTAF?! Is this implying that women aren't capable of sorting out own car insurance? Why on earth would the husband be doing it?? Everyday sexism at its finest...

I set up a bank account for my dcs with my bank. I have a joint account there with my DH.
Filled all the paperwork, signed them etc...
Letter came to confirm that the account was set up.... at my DH name, not even Mr Hey. A completely different name.
I was fuming

The 'Dear Sirs' things makes me think of Man Who Has it All on Twitter

When I had my son I was told off for leaving my 48 hour son, after I fed and changed him with his father whilst I went into the corridor outside the unit (it was 32 degrees in the unit) you would have thought I had left him with a stranger not his own father the midwives also completely ignored him and only spoke to me despite me asking them to include him or tell him if I was in the loo.

Every animal in my toddler’s book “Little Monkey” is male. When I noticed this, I noticed how many books feature exclusively male characters - for no reason. I’ve edited them so they’re equal. I am also mindful of saying “look at the dog! Isn’t she friendly!” Etc and I realised I was also defaulting to “he”.

I am the breadwinner. I also organise holidays. Even though I do the booking and make the payment, DP is always listed as the lead booker.

We bought a house together. DH doesn't really get involved in this sort of thing. I chose the solicitor. A call from me to discuss fees, then email correspondence from me to them giving all information. They call DH the first few times to ask questions. He passes them on to me repeatedly until they give up that approach.

I am the 'handy' one, but at a dinner party, DP gets referred to as being really handy, DP points out that that's more me than him really. Friend knows this as among other things he has borrowed my tools to remove a radiator and received instruction from me on how to do it and seen me up a ladder replacing a light fitting. Still praises DP on his decorating skills and insists that DP is really good around DIY. Basically disagrees with DPs assessment of me and his own knowledge as it doesn't fit his view of the world.

All the animals in Dear Zoo are male.

We were away a few weeks ago. Dd watched a CBeebies programme twice called at the zoo or something similar. It was a guy doing a bunch of animal voices. Mainly talking about poo. On the first episode every single animal was presumed male, the presenter was male and all of the keepers were...... male. On the second episode, there was a slight female influence with a female keeper making a very brief appearance in comparison with the males, some of whom were show cased and I think there may have been one animal presumed female.

@plantainchips
He went to have bloods taken in his second appointment. The protocol was the same for him as for me. It was sexism whatever you think. And the (male) nurse, who examined me and told me I didn’t have a big fuck off incarcerated hernia and would not be sending me for a scan wasn’t sexist either. The man didn’t mention recent surgery btw so he just had unexplained distention. Unlike me.

By the point I presented at a&e I had a good sized incarcerated hernia at the top of my incision with mini hernias down the length. This is an incision, which runs a couple of inches above my umblicus to the pubis. I got a private scan and was transferred directly from my hospital appointment post scan to the admissions ward for surgery. But no, I didn’t get sexist treatment from the nurses.

Safestyle representative knocked on my door yesterday, I’m interested in a new front door. Said they would only come back for a quote appointment if both DH AND I were there. Refused to speak to me alone, as apparently they’ve spoken to women before, and then the husband looks at the wife’s choices and everything gets changed, and they have to come out again. I told them I’d find another company who were happy to deal with a woman on her own. What utter bollocks!!

I've said this numerous times on here, my dad used to sell central heating in the 1970s and 1980s. I would sometimes make appointments for him. If it was a couple then I would ask that they were both there, because every time it was just one person the other always thought of a question the person buying has not thought of so it did take two appointments.

BUT even at 14 year old I would say why he wanted them both to be there.

If they genuinely said that about 'the woman' yes go elsewhere but if they request you are both there then don't just dismiss it.

On the restaurant food / bill. I go to an Italian restaurant, not often, 2 - 3 times a year.

One time it was my birthday and my male friend was paying as a treat. They gave him the bill.

Another time it was me, my dad and a female friend, they gave my dad the bill.

The last time I was there it was me and both the male and female friend but they gave the bill to me.

I think they give the bill to who ever asks for it.

Oh and female friend and I were the ones eating steak.

One huge piece of sexism from my mum. I went on holiday with a boyfriend but I knew my mum would not approve (I was in my 30s and living hundreds of miles away but she treated me as a 10 year old until the day she died) so I told her, truthfully, that I went on holiday with a nurse I worked with. I did not say 'he' or 'she' but my mum assumed it was a she.

I had two uncles and a brother who were nurses so its not as if nurses being men is unusual in our family.

All the animals in Dear Zoo are male.

At baby groups, when three little monkeys are jumping on the bed, they're always boys (one fell off and banged "his" head).

I remember trying to book a hotel for my friend & I, were both female & she’s a doctor. The on line form wouldn’t allow me to put her title as doctor. I tried with a male name and it worked :/

Forgive me @Kit19 but I don’t understand how this could happen. How would the form know whether the name you’re inputting is male or female? Unless there was a drop down menu for male names and a drop down menu for female name?

It is called the pink tax. We pay more for haircuts as well as other products and services despite the fact that it is discrimination on the basis of sex.

Crashed my car. Bastard recovery driver was refusing to take me and the car home (despite my RAC policy specifying this). Trying to work out what to do. Recovery driver: ‘Do you need to ask your husband?’

I was trying to fill in an online form and couldn't progress beyond the first page.

After calls to the company I finally worked out that it was because I had entered my title as 'Ms'.

I have been a Ms on all documents since I was 18 and didn't change my name on marriage. The form had a section asking for previous names and counted it as an error if a 'Ms' didn't input a previous name.

Apparently all Ms' are divorced women who changed their name when they married.

My daughter got her head pushed into a window, the teacher told her ‘that’s what you get when you play with boys’. My daughter’s father and his wife came with my husband and I to ask her exactly what she meant and the head asked her to apologise to our daughter. That was a good day.

I look androgynous. I went into a 2-floor barber/hairdresser, once. Before I spoke, a member of staff looked at me apologetically and said 'Oh, sorry, it's upstairs for men, sir.' So I went upstairs. Before I spoke, a member of staff looked at me apologetically and said 'Oh, sorry, it's downstairs for ladies, madam.' So I walked downstairs and straight out the door. I don't care if they think my hair is male or female, but I won't be sent (literally) all over the shop, before I've even opened my mouth.

Santander. I started my own business in 2010 and opened various Business accounts with them. Current account one sends me statements every month or prenotification of charge letters for the monthly fee. Apparently no way to turn that off for business accounts. For 9 years those letter arrived like clockwork address to .

Earlier this year i was advised by my accountant to add my DP to the accounts as a co signatory. He is an employee of my company. I am the sole director.

From then on the letters now come to Mr and . Despite repeated phonecalls to complain and various reassurances that it would stop, it hasnt. Really winds me up and makes me consider switching banks.