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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Woman cringingly apologises for considering gender critical ideas

64 replies

NotTerfNorCis · 27/10/2019 21:30

She sounds terrified and desperately repentant, like someone who has strayed outside a cult and is frightened of the consequences.

goddessandhearth.wordpress.com/2019/10/25/i-was-a-terf-for-a-month/

TERFs aren’t feminists. Or rather, they are, but only in the same way that the Westboro Baptist Church are Christians – they’re using it as a front for their bigotry and don’t care who they hurt.

I was kicking myself that I didn’t know. I already knew about SWERFs. I didn’t know that TERFs and SWERFs went hand in hand. And I hadn’t looked into SWERFery as I didn’t want to know.

I still don’t quite understand how I got sucked in, even temporarily. My mental state aside, I guess it’s what I have coined “ingrained transphobia.”

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MarieIVanArkleStinks · 29/10/2019 10:38

This self-flagellating apologist has clearly never been a feminist, of the TERF variety or otherwise. She fails to grasp the most fundamental, underlying principles of feminism: the first one being that whatever the wave or school, all feminism is gender critical. That's what feminism does Second, feminism is a pluralist movement and women are not one homogeneous group with one shared braincell and one mode of thinking. Our rights, interests and safeguarding priorities contrast and conflict. And it was ever thus.

Two things she says fly off the page at me, and the first of these is the lazy categorizing of identity politics into either the left or right wing. to quote:

The reason only the right wing will ally with TERFs is because the left don’t want anything to do with bigotry and hatred. If TERFs are still calling themselves left wing and saying the world’s gone mad because only the right are listening to them, well…

I've rarely heard of a more naive comment than 'The left don't want anything to do with bigotry and hatred'. Tell that to Stalin et al, and check out how close his politics came to those of Hitler in the 'horseshoe' effect. You can't boil this one down to left or right politics. The real issue is that the left (the ground on which I've mostly always stood) is eating itself.

Homophobia and misogyny is traditionally 'right wing'. TRA rhetoric legitimizes both. In which case, where does this stand on the political spectrum?

The second strange point is where she says:

All they care about is hating trans people, without realising that if you separate the T from the LGB, then the religious right will come for all of the rest of us next.

The 'religious right' no longer hold sway. The 'G' category have proved this with their B&B discrimination challenge, which they rightly won. As to LGB, the 'G' relates to homosexual males (who may or may not be feminist, but feminism is a women's movement). Yet it's only the women, under the guise of TERFs, she's attacking. Why?

The most fundamental right demanded by trans activists is that of self-determination. Therefore why do they want to deny LGB people (not least women in general) the right to do likewise?

Sorry, 'Goddess & Hearth' (blurgh) blogger. You've been had, and the 'patriarchal dream' has sold you a pup.

PJsatMidday · 29/10/2019 10:35

Very telling she doesn't want dissenting comments, only affirmative. She's clearly not very confident of her own views. The TRA movement really does prey on people needing a herd to graze in.

PJsatMidday · 29/10/2019 10:33

That was really boring.

She has Stockholm Syndrome.

BeMoreMagdalen · 29/10/2019 10:32

Oldermum, yeah, that's a good point actually. We all know, to varying degrees, the pressure she will have been under for holding the simple only women are women line. We've felt enough support from other women who grasp reality to maintain that. If you are on your own against the kind of bullying and censure she will undoubtedly have dealt with, I can well imagine the sweet relief of recanting and being welcomed back in from the cold, especially if you're already used to feeling that kind of relief after trangressing via the 'surrendering' thing.

I get cross when women like write articles like this, but then I remember this is only appeasement, and I feel the same compassion I did when I saw the Rose McGowan video. This is what feminism is for - to liberate the women who are complicit and coerced as much as the in your face rebels.

Oldermum156 · 29/10/2019 10:08

I glanced at it. I guarantee you she was bullied into tears for a month before giving in. Just feel pity.

SpinsterOfArts · 28/10/2019 22:25

Mainstream feminists see SWERFs as patriarchally trying to control women’s bodies, and speaking over marginalized women while claiming to know what’s best for them.

This is utterly bizarre. 'Mainstream feminists' are apparently all in favour of porn and prostitution? That doesn't sound remotely feminist to me. I thought that standpoint was the preserve of the sort of people who believe that feminism isn't needed any longer because we're all equal now. Or maybe the sort who believe that feminists are all man-hating hags. Not the feminists themselves.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 28/10/2019 22:23

You're thinking of Christian Domestic Discipline, which is more specific.

Creepster · 28/10/2019 22:06

IIRC the surrender cult is basically BDSM for Christians.

Ladyfat · 28/10/2019 19:56

Her other posts are enlightening:

goddessandhearth.wordpress.com/2018/09/24/brainwashed-by-the-patriarchy/

"Feminism should empower everyone"

...nah its for women and girls.

Ladyfat · 28/10/2019 19:45

I smirked at the "Me being a queer trans ally..."

nearly 'lol-ed' at "It was very clever to position the initial TERFery from a trans person’s point of view first. She’s trans! How can she be a bigot?" because obviously only biological women can be bigots nowadays...

Cringed a great deal for "I’ve learned/re-learned a few key things:" you poor poor woman...did they..."re-educate" you?

But the grand finale of "I’ve deleted a few TERF comments without reading them so don’t waste your time" completely took the biscuit. If she's not reading the comments how does she deem them "TERF"? A vaguely female name?

That post is the grown woman version of "I'm not like the other girls, I understand you'

calllaaalllaaammma · 28/10/2019 19:14

The "Surrendered Wives" movement is centred on six principles according to google:
1.a wife relinquishes control of her husband's life.
2.she respects his decisions for his life.
3.she practices good self-care (she does at least three things a day for her own enjoyment)
4.she practices expressing gratitude (thanking her husband for the things he does)
5.a surrendered wife is not afraid to show her vulnerability and take the feminine approach.
6.she trusts him to handle household finances.

She's surrendered and believes that men can decide her life for her.

Whatwouldbigfatfannydo · 28/10/2019 09:51

Men encouraging the normalisation of sex work and exploitation Envy

NotTonightHalloween · 28/10/2019 09:49

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NotTonightHalloween · 28/10/2019 09:48

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SnuggyBuggy · 28/10/2019 08:59

I agree with TheProdigalKittenReturns, it doesn't seem like she has thought this conclusion out for herself but has selected the people to tell her what to think. No rebuttals against GC arguments. It was a depressing read and if it wasn't for the other things referred to I'd have assumed she was only a teenager.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 28/10/2019 08:33

I can't say that the combination of "surrendered wife" and "desperately wants to please men even if she doesn't know them, will happily throw every other woman on earth under the bus in order to do so and chastise them for not doing it themselves preemptively" is a surprise. Women with that mindset are never happy with just abasing themselves to men, they always have to try to force the rest of us into doing the same.

Pota2 · 28/10/2019 08:19

She obviously has some issues. Anyone claiming to be a surrendered wife should have some counselling to work on their self-esteem rather than trying to sell their warped perception of reality as something that others should also do.

KatvonHostileExtremist · 28/10/2019 08:15

It's all so religious.

I was tempted by the devil, but my sins are laid bare. Etc.

Daft

BlueCornsihPixie · 28/10/2019 07:59

Shes very desperate to be liked an good isnt she. The fact she cant see he irony of using this line:

She’s trans! How can she be a bigot?! I can’t speak over her, because I’m not trans, what do I know?

Says it all really. And are SWERFs really a thing? Is that not just feminism...

Pota2 · 28/10/2019 07:44

Yeah I have never ever seen a truly convincing account of why the TRA logic makes any sense whatsoever. It absolutely doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and even the professors who peddle it like Sally Hines cannot explain their own arguments

BeMoreMagdalen · 28/10/2019 07:29

I have read so many threads on FWR and articles and tweet threads by Dr Jane Clare Jones looking at Trans Privilege arguments point by point, dissecting the steps that got them to the conclusion that Trans privilege is true feminism, and aside from a lot of 'WTF are these people thinking?' In conclusion, it's been a thoroughly honest affair, trying to see if the arguments stack up. There's no point playing with straw men.

I have never read anything promoting Trans privilege that claimed to 'debunk' or even simply describe pro-woman's space ideas, that even got close. I have lost count of the times I've read feminists explaining to the authors of these fantasy arguments that they haven't understood the most basic things.

AnyOldPrion · 28/10/2019 07:29

I was looking for her rebuttal of GC ideas, but all she's got is 'terfs are evil and mystical gender essences are real.

I was too. I think it’s the first time I’ve read a woman’s testimony where she started to listen to GC arguments, began to wake up, then decided she couldn’t bear this “awful bigoted hate fest” any longer and put her fingers back in her ears without giving the tiniest hint of what she disagreed with or any rationale for rejecting the arguments.

Pota2 · 28/10/2019 07:17

It’s really quite something when to be a feminist means expressing outright hatred for other women who want to end exploitation (ie the SWERF rhetoric). God, men must be posing their pants at what they have achieved there.

HandsOffMyRights · 28/10/2019 07:15

Is SWERFery a 'thing'?
(Sorry, my surprise was at adding the suffix). Grin

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 28/10/2019 00:08

"And in response to all this GC stuff I say - abase yourself more, it's the feminine way."

Nah, don't think I'll be doing that.