Has anybody else been followed by a random stranger?

I think times have changed and made it a little worse.

There seems to be an increase in men following in shops and so on which I blame on casual pick-up behaviour propelled by the likes of Tinder where some men are thinking everyone’s up for a hook/up due to a minority of women who are!

And she'll have her head buried in her phone so won't be cognisant of anything around her.

I've had to have several conversations to my teenage DD - that she has to be aware of her surroundings so can't have ear buds in.

That she can't walk along the canal in winter when it’s getting dark and really shouldn’t do it by herself - she should stick to the busy road - and I'd like her back after dark and if she not - she's been caught by cinema times – it’s safer to do bus from busy bus station opposite shops and highly visible than walking back as only way back is underpasses.

It’s hard as I think she sees it as fussing – and DH can be undermining – he’s vetoed the gift of fear till she’s older as he doesn’t want to scare her. I don’t want to scare her either or unnecessarily restrict her but staying aware and in public is going to make her safer than not doing so.

So many awful stories. And it never stops.
Last week downstairs on the bus, all by myself (except for the driver ), a man in his late 60s / 70s got on and walked all the way down and sat beside me!! Every other seat empty.
I just barked at him "Move", got up and moved away from him. Creep!

Godxilla that sounds grim

In answer to your ques, yes numerous times, it's so normal I tend to try and forget afterwards but of course always alert to anyone who might be following me. So interesting disconnect there!

Sometimes it can be hard to be sure once you've made efforts to shake them off.

Happens less as you get older and more invisible

Not rtft

Yes more than once

All blokes obv

Some v scary

My dad was raging, bundled me and my friend into the car, and we went off looking for the man. We found him outside a neighbours house. Dad had him pinned against the wall, bellowing at him about following teenage girls and what the hell did he think he was doing. He had some feeble excuse about wanting to see where I was going. Dad told him in no uncertain terms it was none of his fucking business where I went, but he’s certainly make it his business if that man ever did something so stupid again. I can remember being in awe of my dad; for believing me and sticking up for me, and also putting the fear of god into that man and making him feel the way I did when I was being followed.

Your Dad is lovely.

And yes, of course I've been followed. The scariest time was being followed by a car when I was walking home from a gig. Luckily, I knew the area, so I knew which blocks of flats I could cut through to change streets.

I was followed home from the bus once. It was only 6 pm ish and day light but the streets were deserted. I've never been so scared in my life. I was 16 and absolutely terrified. My dad went out looking for him but didn't find anyone, which was a good thing as I think he'd have killed him if he'd got his hands on him.

As far as I'm aware I've never been followed but I have been asked out by two separate random men without being engaged in conversation first, it was really weird!
Nothing nasty just 'would you like to go for a drink sometime', I didn't find them attractive & thought it was strange so said no i have a boyfriend; they said ok & went away.

I have had catcalls from strangers but apart from minor assaults in nightclubs when drunk I've 'only' been assaulted by men I know/ knew.

Been followed more times than I really want to think about tbh . I’ve been followed out of tube stations late at night , followed around Kings Cross whilst waiting for the first train home at 5am , by a male that then decided to try and steer me into the back streets whilst having an ‘innocent chat’ and who then rapidly made his excuses and left once he found out what I did for a living. Followed directly out of the work car park ( although tbf so have some of my male colleagues ) and had to drive to another police station for help . When I work in Central London and have to walk there from a station late at night , I wear one of two pairs of shoes , which a male colleague once commented on , as I always wear the same two pairs . He was a little taken aback when I told him it was because I always wear shoes I can run and /or fight in . He was even more taken aback when several other female colleagues agreed , because he had simply never even given it a thought.

Godxzilla don’t think that point hasn’t been made. Hundreds of times.

But,

It never happens

If it does, no true trans...

And even if true trans then how transphobic to focus on the tiny tiny minority of violent criminals

Because no true trans

And it never happens.

Yep last year was walking home down a long high street and stopped to look at a window display. It was only about 6.30 pm. Then realised a man stopped a few shops up. So I kept walking and stopped again so Sc he did the same as it was really quiet and I was totally freaked out. I ended up waiting in a shop for ages browsing and he left but I was so scared

Yes, a couple of times.

Scariest was when I was in my late 20s and heading home in the tube late one night. Walking down the platform I inadvertently and briefly made eye contact with a young guy sitting on a bench, I didn’t think any more about it and continued walking to the end of the platform. Once the tube came and I sat down, I noticed him the seats opposite. Not directly me, but a couple of seats over. This was weird, because if he’d stayed where he was he would have been in a different carriage. He also seemed to be staring at me, but would look away if I looked at him. So, the fear instinct kicked in although I tried to tell myself everything was probably fine. I thought about trying to escape at the next stop, making a run for the door at the last possible moment, but didn’t think I was close enough. We got to my stop, where lots of other people always got off, and to my relief he didn’t get up from his seat when everyone else did. So I headed out, and cautiously looked behind me a couple of times but couldn’t see him in the crowd. But then walking up the steps to the street I looked behind me again and there he was. I couldn’t believe it, it was like a horror film. My flat was only a short walk from the tube, just further down the main road. Panicking a bit I jumped on a bus. The next stop was right by the gate to my flat. He followed me onto the bus. I jumped off at the next stop just by my flat, so did he. I turned to him and said something like if he didn’t stop following me I would call the police. He kind of shrank back and looked a bit pathetic. I got through the electronic gate into the car park, and back inside, but it was a really scary experience. I didn’t turn the light on for a while as I didn’t want him to work out which my flat was (you could see it from the road). I never saw him again.

When I was younger than that, 17 or so, I used to have to go to mass on Sunday by myself. I would slip out a few minutes early, after communion, and there was a boy who used to do the same and then kind of trail me home. He wasn’t that much older than me and if he’d asked me out normally I probably would have agreed (he was quite good looking!), but instead it was just weird and creepy. It went on for a while.

Police have said a number of times that in order to respond to hate crimes against women they would need to increase their staff by 1000% or they would not have time to do anything else.
So there is no such thing as a hate crime on the basis of sex.

Now the fuckers will feel entitled to follow you into the former Women's toilets. Luckily it will never happen.

Its happened to me a lot, once when I lived in a red light district it happened in daylight while I was lugging bags of shopping home and had toddler DS in the pushchair.
A friend of mine was driving home at night and a car followed her, beeping and flashing his headlights. So she pulled over and wound her window down an inch. A man approached her and insisted she get out, he wanted her to check her rear light as it wasn't working. Instead she just said 'oh right thanks' and drove off. He followed her for several miles with his lights on high beam, so she couldn't get his licence plate.

I've been followed in the car a few times. The scariest time was when I had my three very small DC in the car with me, and the driver of a white van thought it would be fun to tailgate me in my tiny car for miles along a country road. I was quite shaken when I finally got away from him.

I've been followed on foot a few times too, it's horrible. One time a young man decided to follow me around central London, on & off the tube, there was no mistaking what he was doing. He got the fright of his life when I turned round to face him in a busy place & yelled at him to piss off, stop following me & leave me alone. He slunk off. It makes me so angry that men think it's OK to do this.

oh yes; when I lived in a city in my late teens/early twenties I was fairly regularly followed/touched inappropriately!

I was followed by an older man, probably around 30, when I was doing my paper round so about 12 or 13. He wanted my phone number and kept on and on following me on my route. I wouldn't give it to him but instead took his to get rid of him. Can still feel the grubby piece of paper as he put it in my hand all these years later. Ugh.

^^ this is all horrifying. Makes me want to keep my DD under lock and key. I hate being at work and knowing that she's walking home in the dark on her own. Thankfully not far from school but still. And she'll have her head buried in her phone so won't be cognisant of anything around her.
Just remembered actually being followed by 2 boys/men in their late teens, 19, 20 perhaps? Walking along a posh road coming back from the gym. They were after my backpack though and not me, but they told me they had a knife. Handed over my backpack easily enough and they ran off. I was really shaken.. but I did think I had the last laugh - the only things in there were my sweaty gym gear and travel toiletries!

Still, I did report it to the police. I think OP you need to do the same thing too to hopefully get this fucker off the streets!

I was walking my dog on a Saturday lunchtime when I noticed a bloke hovering nearby and watching me. So I walked away confidently and as soon as I was round the corner out of his sight I ran like hell. At the next corner I ran into him again - he’d obviously gone the other way round the block hoping to cut me off.

At this point I felt frightened so I grabbed a woman who was coming out of her house and said “please pretend you know me because that man is following me”. So we stood and had a chat while the man watched, obviously waiting for me to walk on so he could follow me again. After a while he gave up and walked away.

Five minutes passed and the lady I was with pointed out that the man had reappeared. He’d obviously walked ahead and hid round the corner waiting for me to catch up. Then got sick of waiting and popped his head back round to see where I was. I had to call a taxi to pick me up and drive me away. Still have no idea what he wanted, whether he was planning to assault me or snatch my dog etc.

I reported it to the police who said “maybe he fancied you?” And my mum said “yes, you should have spoken to him because maybe he wanted to ask you out but was too shy?” 😡

This is why the one protected characteristic under the 2010 Equalities Act which is not a reason to start a criminal complaint about a hate crime is sex.

You can claim a hate crime for racist language, for homo- or lesbophobic language, for hate against a religion, or for transphobia.

But not the most common crime committed against 50% of the population: street/stranger sexual harassment and misogynist cat-calling etc.

Didn't Germaine Greer say once that "women can't afford to think about how much men hate them" ?

I tend to attract men who are begging. I can tell immediately if they clock me and I'm about to be targeted. Waiting for the bus seems to be particularly problematic. They're around town all day but as soon as the shops close it's like something changes and they become more forward and I will usually avoid being out alone at night.

It says some very ugly things about men as a group that most women's experience of this was at its most intense when we were at an age where adult men had no bloody business even thinking of approaching us.