Has anybody else been followed by a random stranger?

No worries DarkAtTheEndOfUk and Godxilla

My post was a bit minimalist, so not very clear!

Yes, many times from the age of about 14 onwards. I'm in my 50s now and never get a second look, thank god. The male gaze weighs a fucking ton.

The group said they'd thought I was with him, and I suppose we looked like a family out together.

The man who attacked me tried walking alongside me after two men came into the street, so it is a tactic in trying to make it seem like you're together and there's nothing wrong. Something for others to be aware of if they find themselves in this situation, try to stop them giving this impression if you can.

I wonder if the question we should be asking is - have any women of reasonable age NOT been followed by a man at some point?

I'd like to think I'm being cynical but...

I have self-excluded from so much activity - walks along canals near my former home being one thing - because of my experiences. None of which were that bad really. It's depressing. DH just doesn't get it either. The fear and self exclusion.

It did a bit! Thank you for the explanation Melroses and I'm sorry for biting your head off.

Do you think we can't tell the difference? Or is there some innocent intent to this observation I'm missing? If not you can shove it

I meant that, as in the OP, the man that was following me was not actually behind me, but passing me at regular intervals (circling?) so he was sometimes in front, sometimes looking in shop windows (like mirrors), then watching and following.

I was walking along a canal in broad daylight one summer with ds aged 4 or 5 and dd in pushchair. I noticed this man going in the other direction and got a weird ugh vibe but didn't think much of it. We finished walking and turned round to go back to the car. On the way back ds wanted to have go at crossing a lock and back so I went with him leaving dd on the opposite bank. I noticed the man coming back and staring at us, he'd stand opposite the lock we had to come back on, there were two and he kept dodging from one to the other as we tried to find our way back. He put his hand in his pocket and had a weird look on his face, I knew he was enjoying my fear. Luckily he paid no attention to dd. I waited until a saw a group of people in the distance and when they got nearer I went up to them and asked if we could walk with them as the man was following me. As he saw us talking he sped up and walked away. The group said they'd thought I was with him, and I suppose we looked like a family out together. I was still shaking when I got home and reported it. I don't know what he had in mind but I was terrified and he was taking real pleasure in that. Never felt the same about that stretch of canal again which is a shame as I used to walk there with my parents as a child, it's a popular walking place, not deserted or creepy at all

OK, I've been looking at that trying to stop myself from biting, but I give up. What does It made me realise that people who follow you are not necessarily 'following' you mean?

Do you think we can't tell the difference? Or is there some innocent intent to this observation I'm missing? If not you can shove it.

These experiences are terrifying at any age. I've been followed by men who were very obviously standing and staring at me, then running to catch me up and standing and staring at me again. It is not something that you can confuse with innocent intentions. I was first followed at 11. One of the most scary experiences of my life was being followed at 17. Between those two ages sadly I had to learn that simple living, while being female in Britain was a huge risk due to the amount of male predators and a system that legitimises, enables and excuses them. You can bloody leave off doing it on one of the few safe spaces where women are allowed to share experiences and realise just how bad it is.

I had an experience fairly similar to the OPs.

It made me realise that people who follow you are not necessarily 'following' you

Mind you this won't necessarily work in all circumstances because sometimes we need to run and sometimes what we need is a huge dog to walk with us. Nonetheless
nimengxihelen.wordpress.com/2016/04/28/power-pose-101-think-murder-and-walk/

Why should we support this corrupt system again?

Oh because we need to be kind to people.

Reminds me of the most appalling sexist joke I once heard:
"Why do women have vaginas?"
So people will talk to them.

Nicely skewers both themale sexism, and female expectations of other women to be nice (eg the handmaidens ...)

If you notice a man following try walking as if you are already angry at someone. Walk in the middle of the road/path/pavement and not meekly to the side. Clench your fists as if you are just dying to punch someone.

It was advice I read in a women's magazine once and I have used it a couple of times. It works. Once the guy had been following me at the same pace for quite a while, but when I clenched my fists and started to walk in an angry fashion, I could clearly hear him hesitate and then move in another direction.

Police have said a number of times that in order to respond to hate crimes against women they would need to increase their staff by 1000% or they would not have time to do anything else.
So there is no such thing as a hate crime on the basis of sex.

So we're just abandoned. Worse than that, when we do report we're treated like shit.

Why should we support this corrupt system again?

At the age of 13 a friend and I were walking in a residentail area.
Car pulls up and slowly following us.
Two blokes inside around 30 years old asking us to get in and telling us what they would like to do to us.

Left my friends house dark early evening to walk a couple of miles home.I was maybe 15 the lad who started following me was about 18.He was on a bicycle....kept cycling pass me then stopping and staring so I had to repeatedly keep walking past him.
He had such an evil look on his face that I really thought he was going to attack me.
I bumped into a couple of friends so when I stopped to chat he took off.

I've been followed and harassed like this more times than I care to mention. Unfortunately, it became so commonplace that one time a man was shouting things out at me from the opposite side of the road, so I just brushed it off as being just another twat and carried on my way. It being mid-afternoon in my own neighbourhood, I didn't feel particularly in danger, just annoyed. However, he then followed me down a quiet street and he put his arm around me. I pushed him off and told him to fuck off. A couple of men walked past and he backed off, which I suppose is why I didn't ask them for help. I feel quite hardened having lived in a number of rough areas and dealt with this kind of thing so many times without actually being attacked physically, plus was probably just confused and being so close to my destination thought I'd just get away. Anyway, once the men had passed he then grabbed hold of me and sexually assaulted me. I won't go into details for the loser creepy men reading who look for wank fodder in hearing such things, but it was a few years before he was caught, after attacking a number of other women, and he was sentenced to several years in prison. What made me sad was there was a news segment about the spate of sexual assaults in the area, and there was some victim-blaming coming from women interviewed, saying that they didn't go out at night anyway (clearly not having all the facts) and that they were the type to fight back and thus would surely not be singled out (yup, I fought back with all my might too, but thanks for making me feel even more shitty about my sexual assault).

Yes, this has happened to me. Once a couple of years ago I got followed on my way home from work which shook me up quite a bit. I was walking home from work in the daylight and got followed quite some distance by a man. Happened to me more than once in the dark too and that was really scary

There was a spate of people disapearring in my area (all men) and ending up being found in the canal.

My DS is slightly younger and currently less likely to go out by himself - but you're right I think my advice would be the same - stay public and be aware of surroundings.

It used to be pretty regular in my teens. Slowly drifted off. Being a teenage girl in Britain is rather like watching a bunch of baby turtles or whatever setting out to sea with all the predators lying in wait. And you're constantly told you're making it all up as well.

That she can't walk along the canal in winter when it’s getting dark and really shouldn’t do it by herself

Canals can be very dangerous places. There was a spate of people disapearring in my area (all men) and ending up being found in the canal.

There seems to be an increase in men following in shops

I remember an article maybe 15 years ago in women's sections of newspapers declaring that the supermarket aisles are the new place to pick up, and encouraging people (women) to make eye contact with male shoppers in order to try and pick them up.
There's a ton of "how to pick people up" advice, aimed at both men and women that entails approaching strangers in public.

Never been followed myself that I've noticed, but friends have.

I've been followed too many times to count, as a PP said, it's been less since I've aged which is fine by me.

I was once followed when my son was in his buggy and I felt very vulnerable even though I was in public in broad daylight.

Yes. I don't know how far I had been followed but a man was walking down my street behind me at night. I was unlocking my front door and he just stopped at the end of my path so I turned around and stared at him. He asked me if I knew the time, which was clearly just some ruse to initiate whatever the hell he wanted to initiate. I just said no very aggressively and he slunk off.

This thread is depressing and alarming. I'm enraged that the harassment of women is not classed as a hate incident purely because it's so common as to render it background noise.

Yes, I got kerb crawled once. It was fucking horrible. It was also early afternoon in a residential area and I was clearly on my way somewhere

I really don’t know what goes through some men’s heads

I've been thinking about this thread and gradually lots of memories have resurfaced and it's quite shocking actually quite how many times I have been followed, touched, leered at or made to feel uncomfortable by a man. It does happen less now (the blessing of getting older) but it makes me rage for my DD and DSD.