Calling out male creepiness

I would have a discreet word with a manager, saying you don't want to officially complain or for him to lose his job, but maybe they could have a quiet advisory word with him that such comments are not appropriate in this day and age? I've avoided particular checkouts in the past but funnily enough, they were staffed by women who behaved like the checkout girl on the Fast Show.

I had an incident in TK Maxx yesterday; went to try on some clothes in the women's changing room and there was a bloke (and clearly a bloke) halfway down the aisle chatting to a girl in one of the cubicles through the open door.

I went further down but still felt uncomfortable with him there, pondering whether to say something. So I spoke to the young man overseeing the changing rooms on the way out, asking if he knew there was a man in the women's changing rooms. He said "He's with his girlfriend" so I told him that the cubicles did not have floor to ceiling partitions, people have camera phones, it made me feel uncomfortable and he shouldn't be there. This was clearly above the poor lad's paygrade, so I found a manager and said the same to her and she went to sort it out.

I didn't hang around for the outcome, but I felt better about having said something.

Yeah complain about him, his manager can give him some training and he won’t be able to use being at the till to sleaze on women. Otherwise he’ll just carry on and women will continue to be made uncomfortable.

Christ almighty - being in your 50s isn’t old and it isn’t an excuse.

I'd report that to the manager.

I wouldn’t have in the past, but I’m realising more and more how much I suppress those instincts and don’t make a fuss.

I can’t imagine he would lose his job for that. Not one complaint. But worth doing in case he is acting the same with others.

That said, I’m not sure I’d complain in person if I had to use the shop again afterwards. Life as a woman is complicated. I’d hate creepy guy to know I’d complained, in the event he didn’t disappear.

Given the choice, I’d complain, then not go back...

I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?

Snowflake society my arse.

I am in my 50s. Bollocks do men in their 50s not realise when they are being creepy. Maybe he has got away with it a lot, but he knew what he was saying.

He knew what he was saying. If he hadn't mentioned his wife, I'd say there was room for interpretation. Not at all with mention of his wife.

I'd report that to the manager. Whoever was supervising him likely won't pull him up on it. I don't care if it was acceptable in the past (it wasn't btw, it was just that women and girls had to put up with that shit), we live in the time we do and if he's facing the public, he needs to live in the present. If he can't do that then there are always other places to work.

The guy was probably very nervous and didn’t think that his comment was inappropriate. My dad is in his 50s and comes out with some awful comments sometimes. It sounds like the guy was trying to be friendly but said the wrong thing, you will probably find he’s never worked in that sort of environment before and the comment is normal for warehouse/labour jobs etc. I wouldn’t make a complaint as he would probably get fired over a comment that would of been acceptable 20 years ago. Snowflake society

Oh...wait! I think I get it. He said it was his "first time and to be gentle" to reference virginity and a first sexual experience. Then, he asked how he did, also alluding to sex, with the response about his wife. Gross.

You know, I find that there are creeps that are worth calling out or reporting, and those that just aren't worth your time or effort. I don't know on this one? I imagine if you reported his comments to a manager, he might have lost his new job?

Just to clarify, I’m not denying you found him creepy.

Another one who doesn’t get it. Is he attributing his success to his wife? As in, he couldn’t have done it without her?

Sorry if I’m missing the obvious.

His wife taught him how to work on a checkout?

I don't get it.

I think sometimes you just need to step back with a blank look or a "what?" That can be enough. Creeps are looking to see what they can get away with.

If it were somewhere like an evening out where they could follow you, something more obvious like "Well that was creepy!" might be needed.