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Trans chat

485 replies

Babyjakesmum · 16/10/2019 19:10

I haven't been on Mumsnet in a while, but have dropped back in to see what was going on when I heard about the sponsors dropping Mumsnet because of anti-trans hate. I expected it to be a storm in a tea cup.

But sadly, I have to say that I find the level of bitter hatred on here to be utterly breathtaking. I have trans people in my family. I have friends who have trans people, and the way they are being discussed here is simply appalling.

Being trans isn't something anyone takes lightly, or lives lightly either. It's is not mental illness, it is not an excuse to abuse children, it is not a passing fad. It is bloody hard on those who find themselves in that situation, and this sort of hate-fest of ignorance and accusation only makes their lives even harder.

I used to come on here to talk about my babies and life as a Mum, and it was supportive and safe space for me to talk openly about my feelings and experiences. It no longer feels safe for anyone. I don't think I will be coming back to be a regular again. I cannot comprehend what has become of the people on here for this level of narrow mindedness to be flourishing.

Make no mistake, I am an old school, campaigning, hard-bitten feminist, and have been since before half the people on here were born. I understand the feminist anti-trans arguments but I find all of it to be empty of any basis in reality. Trans people aren't lurking in changing rooms, trans people aren't after your kids or trying to undermine your own femininity. They are having a very hard time in life.

I know you can cite a handful of examples, but then there are always a handful of example of anything. One Karen White does not mean you write off all trans-people as criminals.

I would say to you to get to know an actual transperson and see what the reality is, except that I wouldn't want any vulnerable person subjected to this.... you also probably do already know a transperson somewhere in your life, but most don't wear a badge to tell you that because it's actually none of your business what clothes or pronouns someone chooses to use.

OP posts:
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HandsOffMyRights · 16/10/2019 19:39

Do you read the Trans Widows thread? Are your trans friends what we would know as 'old school' transsexuals OP?

I'm sorry, but I'm sceptical about this post as feminism centres women. Always. Whatever the era.

NewarkShark · 16/10/2019 19:39

I don’t think I have ever seen anyone on Mumsnet say all trans people are criminals - where did you see that comment OP?

I totally agree most trans people are not Karen Whites but people like that are the consequence of allowing self-ID into women’s prisons. As a feminist, how many rapes do you consider acceptable as collateral damage to avoid offending transgender women?

maresedotes · 16/10/2019 19:37

Apologies that you think we just want to talk about 'babies and life as a mum'. We're feminists who want to talk about how our safe spaces are being eroded and how we can't speak up for ourselves. We won't be silenced. So I suggest you jog on to another site.

LadyCarolinePooterVonThigh · 16/10/2019 19:36

Thanks for the lecture, OP ,

TiredofthisBS · 16/10/2019 19:36

Perhaps you should actually read women's grievances instead of coming here to lecture us about how nasty we all are for caring about OUR rights.

BernardBlacksWineIceLolly · 16/10/2019 19:33

mic drop I'm guessing

i'd love to hear how a hard bitten feminist defines gender, but I don't think I'll find out today

CaptainKirksSpikeyGhost · 16/10/2019 19:31

I would say to you to get to know an actual transperson

I am under stonewalls trans umbrella, i agree with 80 to 90% of what is posted here. most people here have friends who are transgender.

I do not agree in any way shape or form with experimenting on vulnerable children or teaching them incorrect facts which lead to safeguarding being broken down.

LemonScentedStickyBat · 16/10/2019 19:31

I do have a trans woman in my life, who feels afraid to say what she thinks and feels (ie that she understands full well she is not a biological woman) because of the prevailing ideology. She needs unisex facilities for her safety but doesn’t think we need to lose single sex services. I know TRA’s think we make these friends up but I can assure you we don’t, they are just bullied into silence.

Datun · 16/10/2019 19:31

Make no mistake, I am an old school, campaigning, hard-bitten feminist, and have been since before half the people on here were born.

Could you explain how you interpret gender, on the basis of being a hard bitten feminist?

Pota2 · 16/10/2019 19:21

I think you get different levels here. My issue is not with trans people. It’s the ideology which keeps saying that we are hateful if we mention the word woman. That I am female because I feel female etc. For me, it’s not about being attacked but the risk is increasing because so many places are making everything unisex to avoid offending anyone. Maybe you think I am overreacting but I don’t think so. As I said, you get different levels and shades and not everyone on here is necessarily critical of gender ideology (which is the reason I am against the ideology that being female is a feeling). Trans people have existed and been protected for years with few issues but when people tell me that I am not allowed to use the word ‘female’ in my writing for my job, I am obvs going to get a bit narked.

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