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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Trans chat

485 replies

Babyjakesmum · 16/10/2019 19:10

I haven't been on Mumsnet in a while, but have dropped back in to see what was going on when I heard about the sponsors dropping Mumsnet because of anti-trans hate. I expected it to be a storm in a tea cup.

But sadly, I have to say that I find the level of bitter hatred on here to be utterly breathtaking. I have trans people in my family. I have friends who have trans people, and the way they are being discussed here is simply appalling.

Being trans isn't something anyone takes lightly, or lives lightly either. It's is not mental illness, it is not an excuse to abuse children, it is not a passing fad. It is bloody hard on those who find themselves in that situation, and this sort of hate-fest of ignorance and accusation only makes their lives even harder.

I used to come on here to talk about my babies and life as a Mum, and it was supportive and safe space for me to talk openly about my feelings and experiences. It no longer feels safe for anyone. I don't think I will be coming back to be a regular again. I cannot comprehend what has become of the people on here for this level of narrow mindedness to be flourishing.

Make no mistake, I am an old school, campaigning, hard-bitten feminist, and have been since before half the people on here were born. I understand the feminist anti-trans arguments but I find all of it to be empty of any basis in reality. Trans people aren't lurking in changing rooms, trans people aren't after your kids or trying to undermine your own femininity. They are having a very hard time in life.

I know you can cite a handful of examples, but then there are always a handful of example of anything. One Karen White does not mean you write off all trans-people as criminals.

I would say to you to get to know an actual transperson and see what the reality is, except that I wouldn't want any vulnerable person subjected to this.... you also probably do already know a transperson somewhere in your life, but most don't wear a badge to tell you that because it's actually none of your business what clothes or pronouns someone chooses to use.

OP posts:
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LadyCarolinePooterVonThigh · 17/10/2019 09:39

Hypatia do you agree with recording male crimes as female crimes?

BernardBlacksWineIceLolly · 17/10/2019 09:37

Ookkaaay

It seems Hypatia415 is in favour of mixed sex prisons

Interesting position

Would you care to explain why you think that’s a good idea Hypatia415 v

TensingArndale · 17/10/2019 09:34

We need to have a discussion about prison reform which protects vulnerable women from abusers.

I suggest the discussion goes as follows:

"Shall we keep male people out of female prisons? Yes? Good, all agreed. Right moving on to the next agenda item...."

Hypatia415 · 17/10/2019 09:31

@2bthatunnoticed We need to have a discussion about prison reform which protects vulnerable women from abusers.

Focusing on an element of abusers other than their their behaviour, and extending that to all other people who share that attribute, seems a poor way to address systemic problems.

2BthatUnnoticed · 17/10/2019 09:31

Trans inmate can choose the sex of the person they bunk with, who searches them and watches them. Female inmates do not.

Mother and child units are housing convicted sex offenders, who become TW (no hormones, no surgery) post conviction.

Look where children come:

Trans chat
Trans chat
OvaHere · 17/10/2019 09:28

One of the most frightening parts is how much of it is based upon misinformation or arguments that take one example of a person's unpardonable behaviour as being somehow indicative of a whole group of people.

It's not that anyone thinks individual unpardonable behaviour is indicative of the whole group. It's that all manner of unpardonable behaviour is actually very much pardonable and almost always goes unchecked and even celebrated in some cases.

Combine that with terrible policy decisions that favour those who wish to get away with the unpardonable and you end up with the current shit show that many women are understandably very angry about.

2BthatUnnoticed · 17/10/2019 09:11

(That was to Hypatia, who hopefully can clarify support for these women wanting a return to female-only incarceration)

2BthatUnnoticed · 17/10/2019 09:09

What a silly statement. Many people here have trans family member, trans friends or trans workmates. Stop “othering” trans people like they are not throughout society like anyone else.

I noticed OP hasn’t responded to my screenshot, maybe you would?

Trans chat
NotTerfNorCis · 17/10/2019 09:08

My post was deleted for a joke about One Who Shall Not Be Named.

TinselAngel · 17/10/2019 09:06

And the 100+ replies I have had to 2 and now 3 posts, have just proved my point.

Of all the arguments these ploppers always use, the one where they criticise people just for having the audacity to reply to them is the most bemusing.

It's about now that the filibusters usually turn up, but this thread could be a bit early for the weekend filibuster. We shall see.

Hypatia415 · 17/10/2019 09:01

Well done for your post @Babyjakesmum. It's scary the level of anti-trans vitriol that is shared on these boards.

One of the most frightening parts is how much of it is based upon misinformation or arguments that take one example of a person's unpardonable behaviour as being somehow indicative of a whole group of people.

I really worry that many people are coming on to these boards with little frame of reference or knowledge about trans people and this is their introduction.

Apollo440 · 17/10/2019 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Post references deleted post Talk Guidelines.

2BthatUnnoticed · 17/10/2019 08:59

@MNHQ was a comment saying “kys” deleted? None of us saw it (or have ever seen anything remotely close in my case), all I am sure would condemn any that language without reservation. It is quite alarming.

AbsintheFriends · 17/10/2019 08:56

Great post from TabithasMumCaroline

Apollo440 · 17/10/2019 08:55

l also don’t see where anyone told you to kill yourself, and have never seen any feminist here use that kind of language.

I never saw any post saying that. But I'm sure screen shotting the accusation will be enough to demonstrate what a nest of vipers this place is.

Could a mod perhaps clear up whether any such post was deleted?

Leporidae · 17/10/2019 08:40

I also don’t see where anyone told you to kill yourself, and have never seen any feminist here use that kind of language.

I have never seen anyone anywhere on MN write that, and I have been using this site for many years now. However "kys" is a standard TRA twitter insult.

BernardBlacksWineIceLolly · 17/10/2019 08:34

pompous control freaks

A very accurate description. They make me tired

So intellectually dishonest, most of all with themselves

OvaHere · 17/10/2019 08:07

Thanks to everyone who also delights in the term wokescold. I can't claim it as my own invention (sadly I can't remember who first coined it) but it is a great word and so very befitting of those that show up here to lecture without engagement.

SophoclesTheFox · 17/10/2019 08:00

I’m wondering what sort of reaction you think you ought to get when you post a wokescolding* patronising blanket condemnation of a whole board, How would that usually go, OP? Do you find telling people that they’re hateful and stupid an effective way of engaging in productive debate?

I also don’t see where anyone told you to kill yourself, and have never seen any feminist here use that kind of language. Did anyone else see it?

thank you for that, ovahere*, I love this word! (Hope I got the right poster)

2BthatUnnoticed · 17/10/2019 07:59

Yes did someone actually say “ Shock or was that hyperbole ? That would be instant permanent ban surely? Utterly bizarre

If anyone did , I condemn without reserve.

LadyCarolinePooterVonThigh · 17/10/2019 07:57

Wow Orchid, just like our own dear Labour Party.

#labourlosingwomen

FamilyOfAliens · 17/10/2019 07:57

I take my hat off to everyone who takes the time to reply to these pompous control freaks.

I couldn’t be arsed.

LadyCarolinePooterVonThigh · 17/10/2019 07:55

And she thinks she is very old and wise! Ha!

OrchidInTheSun · 17/10/2019 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DanglyTasselsOfThigh · 17/10/2019 07:52

Thigh please don't bite op she is already hard bitten!!

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