I don't think sexual attraction is binary

I'm quite curious as to how many people are single quadrant attracted vs being attracted to an entire axis.

I haven't met all the people yet so it's difficult to say!

It’s all a bit word salady isn’t it? I wonder if lesbians online dating have the experience of turning up on a date to find “extra stuff” they haven’t bargained for

There are a lot of “still together” late transitioning male + female couples where the now trans woman considers herself a “lesbian” but the woman still considers herself straight.

Nothing has changed, except the self-perception of the trans person.

I think sex is binary but sexual attraction is more complicated. We are not attracted to all men or all women so there must be other things going on when we feel attracted to another person. These feelings aren't static for everyone - look at people like Susie Orbach who embarked on a relationship with Jeanette Winterson in her 60s, despite having been in a realtionship with a man for over 30 years.

I don't know the fairest way to refer to transwomen and their partners who describe themselves as lesbian but I do feel strongly that the cotton ceiling concept has really derailed things. Discrimination is about our place in civil society but not to fancy someone isn't necessarily discriminatory.

I don’t think gender is a sexuality.

I agree, it's just made up, non-scientific nonsense.

"it is easier all round to simply state what you are not interested in eg, a heterosexual woman might say 'men 35-50 only, no men under 5'6", no trans people'. In that very specific circumstance mention of preferences in the neagtive saves others wasting their time"

And this is where it all goes wrong.
I can have a list of preferences as long as my arm: no shorties, gingers, Corbyn fans, blue hair, men these are all ok by the moment I say no TW I am called a bigot - this is where this equating (lesbian, homo) sexuality with "same gender" attraction gets us. This issue does not affect straight women as the agp TW all want lesbians and TM are so very very rare and far less entitled to their TW equivalent.
The theories some have come up with cause direct harm to lesbians.

I don’t think gender is a sexuality. Sex is binary and sexual attraction is binary. Gender expression doesn’t alter biological sex. Anything beyond that is more accurately described as a paraphilia not a sexuality.

Jesus fucking H Christ.

There are males and females.
They can have sex with either males and/or females.

End of.

And.... nope

There are 4 choices

Man
Woman
Both
Neither

/fin.

I agree that this is conflating sexual orientation and preferences.

I consider sexual orientation to be that reflex of accepting or rejecting the same or opposite genitalia.

I would consider anybody who is able to willingly have sex with both types of genitalia, as bisexual.

Preferring those genitals to be owned by very feminine or very masculine people is preference.

The confusion is from people who are calling their bisexual preference for people who identify as women, to be an exclusive sexual orientation.. which it clearly isn't.

OP I think you are confusing sexual orientations with sexual preferences.

Sexual orientations are simple. There are two sexes, and only two, so there are only four possible sexual orientations.

Heterosexual- exclusively attracted to the opposite sex
Homosexual- exclusively attracted to the same sex
Bisexual- attracted to both sexes
Asexual- attracted to neither sex

This is a matter of basic arithmetic. 2 x 2 = 4.

Sexual preferences are much more complicated. Other than asexual, within your orientation there will be vast swathes of people you are not attracted to, including entire groups, as well as particular attributes to which you are attracted.

A heterosexual man may not be attracted to any white women. That is a preference, he remains heterosexual by orientation.

A lesbian woman may not be attracted to XX trans people. That is a preference. She remains homosexual by orientation.

We all have both orientations and preferences. There is no point, however, in trying to come up with labels for the latter as sexual preferences are as unique and diverse as there are people on the planet. It serves no useful purpose to label them. In cases where preferences matter, mostly dating sites, it is easier all round to simply state what you are not interested in eg, a heterosexual woman might say 'men 35-50 only, no men under 5'6", no trans people'. In that very specific circumstance mention of preferences in the neagtive saves others wasting their time but otherwise? Doesn't matter.

I'm still not wholly convinced that only sex comes into it.

Look, people are complicated. Sometimes someone who is 99% of the time attracted in one way will feel attracted in some other way. They may not feel the need to have a label to describe that unusual deviation from the usual. Sometimes people also may be in some sort of unusual situation that affects their behaviour. It seems that social expectations can also play a role in sexual expression to some extent and how people understand their own attraction.

The only reason we are so fixated on nailing all this down is identity politics.

I resent the term “genital attracted” - it comes across as unpleasant and derogatory. Very Brave New World/1984 trying to reinvent language.

Like anyone who is attracted to a normal healthy body and people who are happy with themselves (and has sexual boundaries and preferences based on that) is some kind of perverted freak? Other way round surely?

I don’t and would never fancy someone who has had and will need to have multiple strange invasive surgeries on their genitalia to solve a psychological issue. Same as I wouldn’t fancy a tattoo or piercing addict. Or someone with body issues (eating disorders etc) in other ways.

So does that make me a “normal genitalia fetishist”?

Most people are only attracted to a small number of other people. They exclude the majority as potential partners.

So it is fine to say you are bi but only attracted to a small group of men and women. You’re not required to be attracted to everyone.

Genitally attracted makes no grammatical sense. We are however sexually attracted to other people’s genitals, unless you’re one of those creatures from Avatar.

I don't see the need. I'm bi and can be attracted to trans and GNC people. They still have a sex. I think pan is unnessecary and plays into tra hands.

Zero people are attracted to gender.
A male person in a dress is still a male. They therefore will not be attractive to a lesbian - take the clothes off what are you left with?
Any lesbian who claims to be attracted to a TW is a bisexual and that should be fine, I don't see why everyone suddenly pretends to be lesbians these days?
All the OP is doing is adding fuel to homophobia against lesbians.

I think sexual attraction is binary because human sex is literally binary.
How attracted someone is to feminine and masculine traits doesn't change whether or not they are attracted to those traits on males and/or females.

Nope.

Same SEX attraction only - lesbian/gay
Opposite SEX attraction only - straight
Both same and opposite SEX attraction only - bi

Gender in this context is just a fancy way of saying 'I have a range of aesthetics I find sexy within my SEXual orientation'.

I can't answer for anyone else. But personally, I am heterosexual. I am female and I would not want to sleep with another female. Like FWRLurker I can't imagine getting intimate with a female.

I like men. I’m most strongly attracted to gentle, not too huge somewhat “effeminate” men.

Occasionally I will feel “attraction” to women especially more androgynous / “masculine” women but I feel immediately disturbed at the idea of anything beyond kissing (touching genitals or breasts)

I do not need to call myself “pansexual” simply because I am not only attracted to GI Joe. I’m straight.

sex always involves penises for me. Seeing as I don’t have one I guess I’m heterosexual. I’m not sure that I would agree with your idea of being attracted to gender though. I just don’t care whether a man wears a skirt or not. I’m attracted to some penis havers no matter how they are dressed or whether they think they’re a woman, man or a donkey. I’m only attracted to sex. Let’s be quite blunt here, unless you have some sort of fetish, once clothes come off gender ceases to be a part of the experience.

OP the problem with your way of analysing attraction is the assumption that gender is a thing that everyone experiences. It isn't. It certainly isn't something that can be immediately perceived in another person (if it was, misgendering wouldn't happen). Gender may be relevant to some people's attraction, but for many it has no relevance.

As far as sexualities go, there are 3. Same-sex attraction (homosexuality) opposite-sex attraction (heterosexuality) and attraction to both sexes (bisexuality).

Now, those people who are attracted to particular genders might want to find new words to describe their attraction. Why not? They can talk about their genderality, they could describe themselves as homogenderal/heterogenderal /bigenderal, or possibly mangenderal/womangenderal/bigenderal. As long as they don't expect the rest of us to redefine our sexuality in terms of gender.

I’m sorry but I don’t even really understand what you are saying. Quadrants and axises? It looks like you’ve tried to break it down but I’m confused. Probably just dense though.