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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Join the mixed-sex loo resistance movement!

212 replies

WomanBornNotWorn · 03/10/2019 13:49

Ideas for what we can do:

Theatres etc - go up to box office loudly asking 'where are the ladies'?' again and again as loudly as you can so the representative has to keep repeating the answer - if you're in a group, take it in turns for variety.

Ring an offending restaurant and book a table for six. Then ask 'I assume you have separate men's and women's loos?' then when they say no, say 'ah no, that doesn't work for us. I'll cancel that and we'll book at (name bitterest rival restaurant that does have separate loos) instead'. Get everyone you know to do it. Make sure you've blocked your number.

Come out of cubicle with full moon cup and wash it out in front of any men present (just pray they're not menophiliac).

Stickers. Lots of stickers.

Learn the statistics so you can recite the evidence of sexual assaults in mixed space etc etc whenever you're contradicted. 'In fact, Home Office statistics show that xx% ... ' etc.

Train your daughters to understand why we are saying no and to have the confidence to speak out. And your sons, too.

OP posts:
MonChatEstMagnifique · 06/10/2019 12:47

Come out of cubicle with full moon cup and wash it out in front of any men present

Jesus Christ, I'd rather not share a loo with women who would do this to prove some kind of point. If you need to wash it out, do so, but to bring it out full...why? Just why? It's things like this that really lose you support from many people.

Train your daughters to understand why we are saying no and to have the confidence to speak out. And your sons, too.

I prefer to teach my children to question things and think for themselves. I think 'training' or brainwashing them to think a certain way can be quite damaging.

TheChampagneGalop · 06/10/2019 12:46

Oh dear. That would further explain a certain fixation with bathrooms.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 06/10/2019 12:31

I wonder if it works like Pavlov's dogs and eventually they find the smells of stale urine and bleach arousing by themselves via association.

TheChampagneGalop · 06/10/2019 12:27

It's well-known that men look for sex and masturbate in public bathrooms isn't it. I always wondered how they could stay aroused in such a stinky place.

Campervan69 · 06/10/2019 12:04

entran.home.blog/2019/10/05/the-bathroom-debate-is-a-mans-issue/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

Just read this on Twitter and think we need single sex facilities even more now Shock

koshkat · 06/10/2019 11:29

CadburysTastesVileNow the school theatre trip is a huge issue now. The safeguarding risks are through the roof and I know that some teachers are stopping taking kids out because the risks are too big. With staffing levels at 1:10 on a trip, teachers would spend the whole time supervising toilet visits for both young girls and boys to ensure that predatory men do not find them.
The whole thing is lunacy and theatres are amongst the worst culprits. One of the most woke industries around, full of middle class muddle headed muppets who cannot see the wood for the trees.

AllTheNameAreTakenEvenThisOne · 06/10/2019 11:19

Lucindainthesky's point to go to those with influence is well made.

Making life inconvenient for minimum wage staff isn't the same thing as making life inconvenient for managers.

One way to make life inconvenient for managers is to hit them where it hurts - their pocket, or their reputation (which is also their pocket, really).

Much better to raise awareness among the theatre going public (who buy tickets) for example, and make a fuss on social media than continually harass workers with very little - if any - influence.

Downwind · 06/10/2019 11:14

As somebody who works in a theatre box office I can tell you that making your point to box office staff won't achieve anything.
why not? Surely you provide feed back to your manager - "I've had loads of women asking where the ladies toilets are - I think we need clearer signage".
Or, "I've had many complains about the mixed sex toilets"
"It's causing me problems"

Lucindainthesky · 06/10/2019 10:53

@WomanBornNotWorn

As somebody who works in a theatre box office I can tell you that making your point to box office staff won't achieve anything. We sell tickets, we don't make decisions on toilets. If you repeatedly asked me where the ladies were I would think you were hard of thinking and something I could do without whilst busy working for minimum wage.

I don't disagree with the overall point and prefer single sex spaces. But please make your point to the people with influence. Go to the top, the chief executive. Don't harass box office staff.

WomanBornNotWorn · 06/10/2019 10:44

Fantastic, Ledkr!

I emailed my doctor's surgery (where the biggest poster is Allsorts') about their notice saying they don't discriminate on the grounds of the usual list but adding gender and omitting sex.

I informed them they had no right to rewrite the Equality Act, or to leave out a protected characteristic

I also said if there were to be a sex discrimination case against them they would probably lose because they'd specifically written that they don't include sex as worth respect.

They have corrected their notice.

We must get aware of the law and women and children's rights, and confident in writing and speaking to defend them.

OP posts:
TheProdigalKittensReturn · 06/10/2019 10:26

Both late and selfish, but what else is new?

AllTheNameAreTakenEvenThisOne · 06/10/2019 10:14

Men are getting it too

Yup. Women are afraid men will kill them. Men are afraid women will laugh at them.

When we raised safeguarding concerns that wasn't important, apparently. But now they see there's a risk we might laugh at them and their precious willies, suddenly mixed sex is a problem.

I mean yes of course we should leverage any support for single sex loos - But, seriously, men?!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 06/10/2019 09:33

God spellcheck...To recap:

men -
peeing -
What??? eek woman/little girl in same room??!!!
😱😱😱

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 06/10/2019 09:32

Men are getting it too. They may have chortled/ it cared/not got it before (hoho a man in the ladies loo!) but now it’s ‘hang on - I’m having a pretty and women and little girls are walking past/queuing/pointing and laughing etc...

Men just don’t want their willies out/ men in a confined space where there are girls/young women around (dear god they are terrified of speaking to kids in case people assume they are up to no good).

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 06/10/2019 09:29

That's promising in terms of the impact kicking up a fuss might have. TRAs have been relying on women sighing and making do. So let's not do that.

littlbrowndog · 06/10/2019 09:21

Great work Caroline

SaltedCaramelPopcorn · 06/10/2019 09:16

Poll!

SaltedCaramelPopcorn · 06/10/2019 09:16

Great article in The Times. Voted on the pole and glad to see 93% against mixed sex toilets

truthisarevolutionaryact · 06/10/2019 08:54

Amidst the range of great GC articles in today's press the wonderful Caroline Criado Perez has written this for the Sunday Times. Share token:

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/women-cant-win-when-it-comes-to-loo-queues-l3szkbxhx?shareToken=69dbb1523800df913fe80e8ffb8a666a

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 06/10/2019 08:50

People do get all excited and want to jump on the bandwagon. They don’t actually think about the implications or what the background of this is.

If you tell people what the proposed self ID means - day to day life and the much publicised extremes (bunce, white etc), people do start to think.

LizzieSiddal · 06/10/2019 08:45

Ledkr that’s fab!

I do think that a large majority of these organisations have half heard something about gender neutral “stuff” and think We Must Do Something, without thinking of all the implications. It’s a shame it’s up to feminists to make them think!

Ledkr · 06/10/2019 08:26

A sign has appeared in the ladies at work (local authority) saying that anyone can use whicbever loo they feel comfortable with WITHOUT CHALLENGE I have emailed HR to inform them that I will not be told what I can challenge in my life, informed them that they need to install floor to ceiling doors and also sanitary bins in the mens for when I feel like I'd like to use them when I'm menstruating.
The posters came down the next day.

WomanBornNotWorn · 06/10/2019 08:13

Just a thought. .. I wonder if being able to use any loo, with none being a specifically private female space, might actually reduce the thrill of being somewhere forbidden, so the kink aspect would ... shrink?

Or would the possibility that there might be a woman being private and vulnerable in the the next door stall make it all the more attractive?

OP posts:
AnyMinuteNow · 05/10/2019 21:38

I've got mixed up, that post was supposed to be on the aibu thread then I read this one and posted it

AnyMinuteNow · 05/10/2019 19:48

Gender neutral is meaningless

This is about sex, and nothing else.

Lets stop pretending how you prefer to dress is in any way relevant

I go intonladies sometimes wearing head to toe 'gender neutral/unisex' clothing.

I still yhe female sex loo facilities, my clothes have fuck all to do with this.

Neither does whether I am wearing makeup, or fuckibg 'girly' earrings.

Gender stereotypes are harmful, toxic and a load of ol baloney frankly.