SURROGACY CONSULTATION ENDS ON FRIDAY 11 OCTOBER - PLEASE SUBMIT A RESPONSE [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

Yes indeed testing I have a 19 year old (just) and take the idea of her embarking on a career as a surrogate somewhat personally.
These are some her thoughts, which she expanded on a bit more eloquently in her reply to the consultation.

"At my age mental health is very vulnerable and I think having a surrogate baby and giving it away could definitely have a bad effect.
I wouldn’t be able to hold my wee in any more.
I think at my age I should still be looked after or at least protected by adults.
It’s taking advantage of young vulnerable individuals, probably in lower socioeconomic groups."

One of her friends was shocked at the thought and said "shouldn't they be finishing A levels or going to university or getting a job at that age?"

Of course if surrogacy is financially attractive that might count as a job?

And yes, 17 questions on payment

The only advice I can offer is

Just got to section 15, payment. Should be an easy one! But 17 questions!

It turns out I have quite a lot to say! Questions like "a woman should be over 18 to enter a surrogacy agreement" really bring home how awful surrogacy could become.

Well done testing
It's hard work to be sure, you could concentrate on some of the key questions and either leave others unanswered or copy in answered to the others. It's important to have a voice and make it heard!

Bless you testing it is painful but keep going and there's no problem with doing a quick email job if you lose the will to live!

I have just done to the end of section 9. This is painful - I can't bring myself to just do a copy and paste as I suspect they will just dismiss a lot of those as repeats, so I am doing my best effort as to why I think surrogacy as suggested is wrong. Feel like it's going to take a while.

Mfsf, the point of posting that article was to illustrate the impact on a developing brain of the stress of being separated from a mother. Newborns have been shown to be able to differentiate their own mother (the one that carried them) from birth, due to heartbeat, voice, scent and other factors. So being cuddled by another woman is not the same unfortunately.

I suspect you just looked at the headline.

I don’t believe that I will change your mind about surrogacy, but I think it is useful to respond to the points you raise here, for others who may be reading and starting to have their eyes opened about the realities of surrogacy for children and vulnerable women. There is plenty of relevant information upthread for people who wish to read more about why many believe surrogacy should be banned.

Bumping this to encourage others to complete the consultation before the period ends later tonight.

As a surrogate and as a solicitor Mfsf can I ask you to read the court case notes posted up thread and let me know whether you think this UK surrogate was forced at ANY time? Thanks.

It's women like her that need to be protected. We heard the warm fluffy story from Surro upthread. Your experience is not everyone's experience.

Littlecabagge if you are comparing a newborn being separated from the birth mum to that then you need to rethink your capacity to actually interprete things .
The babies are nurtured and have skin to skin and are often breastfeed by the mum anyway .

No I actually think it’s unbalanced and biased , I find it negative towards surrogacy. I also appreciate the explanation of what a proposal is but as a surrogate and solicitor myself I understand it very well and have taken great care in making sure I don’t agree with all of it ( I do not agree with all of it )
I would tell that family the same thing I would say to any family whose children just lost their mother that I was sorry for their loss and that it was a tragedy .
I still maintain that to consider a surrogate a victim the surrogate would need to be taken advantage of , and surrogates in the uk are well informed and able to access any information they need , they are not forced , they are not persuaded they are not used .
And I can assure you both my surrogacy pregnancies where far from easy during pregnancy and birth , but at no stage of those journeys , and the first was extremely challenging for me health wise , did I feel forced cheated or abused in anyway .
I felt however sacred that if complications arises with the baby the legal responsibility to that baby was mine , as many surrogates do and the change proposed here that gives IPs parents right from birth could have really helped that anxiety .
As for miscarriages abortions or anything like that, as with anything in life it’s a personal thing to be agreed between both parties and nobody in the UK is or will ever be forced to do something they don’t agree with

This is interesting:

theconversation.com/a-sudden-and-lasting-separation-from-a-parent-can-permanently-alter-brain-development-98542

Oh and do the babies of the mothers they are separated from get returned to their mothers?

My friend was rushed for emergency surgery following a haemorrhage from a serious birth injury and it meant she couldn't establish breastfeeding. Her daughter suffered, she didn't stop crying (who knows about the emotional side, the thing about babies is they can't talk or think, but they sure can cry) but she stopped crying the moment she was back with her mother and eventually they established breastfeed and she fed her until she was 2.

Do surrogate babies get to be with their mothers? No. They don't.

Did you find the proposals presented in a fair and balanced way with lots of information about the negative as well as the positive impacts for the new pathway @Mfsf ?

Because that is what public consultations are meant to do. If you can't see the move to make surrogacy more commercial in these proposals then I can't help you as you simply do not want to see it.

There is so much you have said to unpack, but really I would love for you to tell me what you think should happen to the family of the American woman who died carrying twins for a Spanish couple, how much compensation should they get, those boys, for the loss of their mother for life? The twins died too. Should the widowed husband pay compensation to the intended parents?

How much is a miscarriage worth? At what point? What did you put as your answer there?

Just bumping.

I’ve read the proposal and acted on it . Thousands of children are separated from their birth mums after the birth , due to a multitude of issues and I doubt there is any studies that show they grow up to be any less , maybe you should worry with all the birth mums outside maternity wards smoking like chimneys and then returning to their babies ,I wonder how much of their mum scent they love , or those returning home to degraded homes with no heating or worse !
And the reason compensation is proposed is because expenses are very restrictive , and at present if a intended parents was to give a gift to the surrogate , as a example , that is taken into account . Surrogates are also not allowed to include resting or recovery breaks as expenses which could probably benefit some .
It doesn’t mean that surrogacy is to become comercial as it is in the USA , no surrogate or intended parent wants that or at least not any I know of and I know a few hundreds . This proposal simply brings a bit of flexibility .

@HugTrees and @Mfsf

It's clear that you haven't read much of what has been posted as you would see how wrong you are, in so many ways I can barely begin...

Have you each completed the consultation to share your own views or have you just come on here to tell us how vile we are?

surrogates do not see the babies as their children

Unfortunately, a newborn infant is programmed to recognise the woman that carried them as their mother. Research shows it is traumatic to separate them, whether that is uncomfortable for you to think about, or not.

Surrogates are not bought , paid or used

Part of this consultation is to consider allowing surrogacy to become commercial (paid) in the UK. Have you actually read the proposals?

thanks for the reminder. Of course this reform is only a good thing. Why shouldn’t IPs be the babies parents from birth?
You know that a lot of mothers breast feed their babies through surrogacy right? That these are much wanted and loved babies and that the baby probably gets a better 4th trimester than a lot of people have the time for.

So baby has all the skin to skin and bonding and breast feeding.

Although if you want to stop that then I think you need to go the full hog and require that all women should be assessed pre pregnancy to find out if they are suitable parents. So many people have babies who are just mediocre parents, why not target or help them?

All of it ! Why would people like you think children are seen as a commodity ? What makes any of you ( and I doubt any has had fertility issues by the sheer condescending atitude ) think that those children will have issues or be any less loved than your own ?
And to make out surrogates are somewhat victims ... well that’s just plain offensive . Surrogates are not bought , paid or used . They enjoy what they do .
Children are also not taken from their mums , they are returned to their mums , surrogates do not see the babies as their children and I’m sure if a need for cuddles arises they can have plenty .

Children born out of surrogacy are loved , cared for and above all wanted, which is probably a lot more than a lot of children ever where or are .
Honestly as a feminist , a woman , a person who is extremely close to surrogates , intended parents and children born out of surrogacy I find it vile , based on assumptions and not facts .
Oh and surrogates are not poor women exploited, the majority have really nice careers and/or are professional , nurses , midwifes , solicitors , business owners etc are some of the professions of the surrogates I’m close too , me included

Don’t mind at all FannyCann.

Mfsf, I don’t consider that any of my comments are vile. I used to think altruistic surrogacy was a good thing, until I started reading more and more about the subject.

The information I have discovered, combined with the experience of having my own children and also experiencing permanent birth-related injuries, has caused me to change my mind and believe that all surrogacy should be banned.

This is not a knee-jerk reaction. It is a conclusion I have come to over a long time, having read many different sources of information. I do not think that the huge number of European countries which have banned all surrogacy have done the wrong thing. They are protecting children and women.

Which comments in particular? @Mfsf

As you must have RTHT before commenting I think you will have seen already where posters here have met or indeed know intended parents, have considered being a surrogate, have noted points on foster care, same sex couples and the protections of babies, children, adults born from surrogacy and women?

Have you read through all the links posted as well and considered all our points before posting?

@mfsf can you read @littlecabbage's post and tell me what you consider to be vile about it?

That pretty much sums up my views about the matter and I think many of the other people who have posted.

I find some of the comments here vile !! And honestly ignorant ! I’m assuming those opposing never meet intended parents , surrogates or children born through surrogacy ?