Is 'Housewife' an occupation?

The problem I think is that the word housewife was born in a time where women were expected/forced to give up work when they got married and had little or no financial equality by definition. It also suffer from the same loaded connotation as SAHM in my opinion - alway the bloody women! What about SAHM and househusbands? Language is powerful and housewife is an anachronism that carries negative connotations, conscious or otherwise.

What about:
Working In the Home Parent (WIHP) - aka housewife/husband
Working Out of the Home Parent (WOHP)
Working From Home Parent (WFHP)

I've been all three and many people do a mixture of these roles nowadays. Why sell yourself short by self-describing as a Housewife, which many people find has a negative connotation/look down on/see as sexist or old-fashioned, even if you don't?

I don't know why women just don't own this. If you're a house wife you're a house wife, trying to find other titles for it is ridiculous and smacks of shame,

I have a friend who's a house wife. She introduces her self under all manner of shite depending on her mood. Artist, poet, you name it.she is nothing of the sort, but she'd still rather say it than own being a house wife. The shame is in her head only. No one else gives a fuck.

Women do themselves a disservice by trying to find themselves a different title. Everyone knows what it is. Own it. There is no justification needed.

The woman on mastermind had the right idea.

Unless you can split yourself in two it’s not possible to simultaneously be at home caring for your child, and other stuff and at work. You are paid to leave that behind and work.

I manage it now as as I work in my kid's classroom and my mum worked from home while simultaneously being a stay at home mum. But overall someone who is doing a job is doing less childrearing and the less of the child associated housework than an SAHM. My mum was a childminder when I was a teenager and it was our house that had all of the mess of a day with toddlers. It was my mum who shopped for, cooked and cleaned up after their main meal of the day. It doesn't mean that their parents did nothing, they parented the other hours, did the laundry, any night waking etc. But they came home to a house that was in whatever state they left it that morning. My mum tidied up toddler created mess after toddler created mess throughout the day. My mum played with the kids, fed them, included them in her baking, taught them songs, colours, read them books, brokered their arguments, stopped what she was doing to comfort their upsets, etc. For 10 hours a day, 50 hours a week. 50 hours of child-rearing and mess cleaning that their parents weren't doing. While also having her own teen and preteen kids, our associated extra housework and an ill husband to deal with.

I have done both SAHM and work with different patterns (eg 3 long days per week and 5 short days). Personally I was able to do more with the kids and at home when I was Sahm.

5zeds

To be fair she could work at Brittas Empire, or even be Barbapapa you just don't know these days.
The children are in the drawer safe and sound.

@Soontobe60 I wonder if it has occurred to you that a lot of couples have a partnership? I stay at home and do 90% of the home, family based management. It is my choice. I worked until after my second DC was born, earned a high salary and certainly helped towards saving a large deposit for our very nice family home. My husband also has a very senior role and earns a high salary. It is "our" money, as the contribution I make allows him to go to work and not think/ worry about home and family life. It does not impact on his day and he does not have to take time out to deal with any issues. I actually feel I am incredibly lucky to be able to choose not to work. If the term applied to me is housewife, I really couldn't care less.

@PuffHuffle5 Unless you can split yourself in two it’s not possible to simultaneously be at home caring for your child, and other stuff and at work. You are paid to leave that behind and work.

I agree with the posters who feel the reason for declaring an occupation is so everyone can express patronising when a secretary beats a brain surgeon.

Would also agree that the concept of John Humphreys delivering misogyny is not a surprising one.

How is it possible that you think you are doing the same as someone who doesn’t go out to work?

It’s possible, as I previously explained, because I have experienced both things and can make the comparison - I’m not making presumptions, I’m not just imagining or thinking things or having an opinion, I’m talking about my life and first hand experiences - I really don’t know why that’s so difficult to comprehend and neither am I ignorant - I could understand your point if I was saying it having never been a SAHM, then obviously I wouldn’t know or understand - but I have - how can I be ignorant about my own experiences?

I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with the words we have.

But any new word will quickly become judged because the underlying attitudes won't have changed.

I suppose if your children go to school, and you work school hours only then you could claim to do the same as a SAHP. But otherwise you will be paying someone else for childcare, unless you have family who look after your children for free (which is as big a privilege as being able to afford a SAHP in my opinion).

I think we need a different word for people who are choosing not to work rather than unemployed/between jobs. Some will be living off a partners income, some will be on benefits, some will have inheritances. I know people of both sexes in all 3 categories, vast majority SAHMs of course, but also a SAHF (surely these 2 should all be calling themselves SAHPs now!), a couole living off benefits and a couple living off a large inheritance.

Housewife is just such a loaded and, imo, sub-servient sounding term. I cringe when I see intelligent, educated women putting housewife as their job description on facebook. I'm sorry but there it is. We need a new word without the negative or historical connotations.

What an ignorant thing to post. this is almost exactly what I thought when I read your post @PuffHuffle5 How is it possible that you think you are doing the same as someone who doesn’t go out to work?

I always put housewife, until i divorced.
Then my car insurance needed renewing....flipping nightmare, I had to put living off private funds. Best category I could find.

Not sure why anyone would care really.

Or do you have a totally lazy husband?

Not lazy in the slightest thank you. Military and works away from home for sometimes months at a time. Single mum or lazy husband are not the only reason someone might have to do household chores alone - some parents have jobs that involve being away from home for a prolonged period of time (not just military). Sometimes a partner can be ill and the other partner a carer. What an ignorant thing to post.

PuffHuffle5

Are you a single parent? Or do you have a totally lazy husband?

Apart from single parents, no woman should be doing all the household chores after a full day at work.

Who gives a sh!t.Over the previous 20+yrs ve been un-employed/ low income,multiple poorly paid menial jobs holder/ housewife/overworked whilst studying at uni& then self-employed/high income earner..couldnt care less if people chose to define me by such descriptions-small potatoes😂

So what happens to your ds while you are working?

@5zeds because after going back to work I still have to the get the same things done at home as I did as a housewife/SAHM - the housework, the cooking, taking care of DS etc. I just have a lot less time to get it done in. As I said in my post, I’ve done both things - so no I’m not imagining it, I know it from experience.

I don’t understand the need to validate (probably to yourself more than anyone else) what you’re doing by equating it to twenty other paid jobs as though you’re working ten times harder than other people who are most likely doing the same thing on top of their jobs.
Do you really imagine you do the same job after working that someone who is say a housewife and sahm? . How so?

Maybe a housewife/homemaker should just list the things she does then. What do you do? well I ..........

'I'm just trying to understand why women would use this term, which I still think is outdated.'

It's a standard term that is widely understood and has been in circulation for ages.

Not tricky.

Or are women expected to spend valuable time scrutinising every word that comes out of their mouths.

Fact is lots of words that are applied to what women do are problematic, and this is because what women do and say is up for continual judgement, and we are usually found to be in the wrong.

OP you have not suggested an alternative term so what on earth did you expect her to day. I get the feeling that gold digging lazy good for nothing bastard is what you are thinking. From your posts.

Actually someone who does “fuck all” in terms of paid employment and housekeeping probably has loads of time to study obscure topics, so could be the perfect candidate for Mastermind

I’m also gardener, cleaner, laundress, chauffeur, HR, IT, PA, counsellor, life coach, event planner, chef and dog walker!

I was a SAHM for a year and a half after my DS was born - I believe that staying at home looking after children or even just looking after the house if your DH earns enough money is a perfectly valid thing to do, no one should have to explain themselves for it. But statements like the ones above really make me cringe (especially ‘life coach’ I haven’t heard that one before - that’s a double cringe from me) I don’t understand the need to validate (probably to yourself more than anyone else) what you’re doing by equating it to twenty other paid jobs as though you’re working ten times harder than other people who are most likely doing the same thing on top of their jobs. I’ve heard of some women actually writing that sort of thing on their CVs when going back to paid work - it doesn’t go down well. Walking your own dog isn’t the same as being a dog walker, putting your DD’s hair in a plait doesn’t equate to hairdressing, cooking a lasagne is not being a chef... you take care of your children and keep the house in good shape - that’s it’s very own thing, so own it. There’s nothing wrong with that.