Anal sex for 13 year olds? Warwickshire again...

And I cross-posted with Truth.

I think I see where wires were crossed. I also think kids should have access to information. But that information shouldn't suggest that anal sex at 13 is a good idea. I think we're more or less on the same page with that. As Pota said, I'm talking about the issues with "sex positivity" which make it hard to coherently talk about the reasons sex at 13 is a bad idea, or to acknowledge that anal sex is frequently (usually?) a terrible experience for women, even adult women, even if they consent to it. Talking about the physical risks and consequences of some kinds of bad sex is good and useful, but insufficient.

Are we meant to think they're cool girls when they do that? Cause it mostly just makes me feel a combination of pity and contempt at the idea that anyone would be that desperate for male approval.

@IfNot - it's in AIBU. All the sex possie people are there, saying that they asked to be penetrated anally when they were 15 and this is all sound advice and useful to point teens to

That last one was to Truth, not allmywhat

I think you did misunderstand it. She was criticising the reasoning of liberal feminism with its sex positivity and emphasis only on consent, which makes it (according to their logic) impossible to argue that children shouldn’t engage in these things, as long as they consent.

She was essentially saying the same as you.

Truthontrial I"m not sure if you misunderstood my point, as Pota2 suggested. I'm honestly at a loss to see how you could have. I note that you have pulled out the only quotes from a very long post that could possibly make it look like I think this is a good thing, and stripped them of all the context that makes it clear I don't think that. Are you straight up trolling and trying to start a fight?

To give you the benefit of the doubt, are you arguing that this website is fine in theory, and would be fine with you in practice if it were more explicit about the dangers of anal sex and if it mentioned that sex between 13 year olds and adults is rape and illegal? I agree that both of the above amendments would improve this "resource" somewhat but I would not be okay with it even if your suggested amendments were made.

Ha! Well yes, and I put it in my pp.

I do think dc should have, age appropriate, information.

However, that was not.

I don't think that website info is in any way anything other that pornographic. It isn't what I believe in setting out age appropriate info.

It doesn't tell the truth. Biology isn't harmful. Carefully navigated, tricky emotions and feelings aren't harmful, but porn is.

I can't link the two, and my understanding of the pp was that one was to blame for the other. Have I got that wrong?

Truthontrial did YOU read what allthewhat actually said? She is saying the same as you. She is saying that liberal feminism has led to all this bullshit where there isn’t a theoretical objection to 13 yos having anal sex because it’s all about consent, very loosely defined and probably only obtained as a result of ‘negotiation’.

This is just...it can't be real? Are you sure it's not a wind up?
I'm an adult. I've been around the block a few times. I hadn't even heard of some of these things. They are aiming this filth at children, most of whom havnt even kissed anyone at that age.
It's grooming in plain sight.
Who okay ed this? What nonce wrote it and what gormless, liberal, dick pleasing fucking council comittee approved it? Who do I complain to? I will fucking take legal action if my kid is exposed to this.

Please put this in AIBU. If it's real people need to know.

Yes, definitely a petition, but I don’t live there.
It makes me sad on behalf of my two sons as well as girls in general.
No children should be pressurised into sex in this way, or made to feel that they are behind if they want to wait. I’m sure many boys would rather be in a loving relationship with a girlfriend rather than feeling under pressure to have sex at all straight away. In fact I know many boys like that.
Where is the talk about emotions?How you have sexual feelings as a teenager but that doesn’t mean you should have sex yet, because you’re not emotionally ready. It can be a very confusing time for boys and girls. I thought about sex a lot when I was a teenager - that’s normal - but no way was I emotionally ready to have sex.
This curriculum seems to be saying ‘if you want to have sex, you should, and you should be doing x y z random niche sexual activity’.

So much wrong in what you state the allthewhat

Firstly,

well, if 13-year olds want to have anal sex they should be given the instructions to do it safely" as a reasonable seeming solution.

then of course you're going to end up at "why shouldn't a 13-year old girl have anal sex?

^ doesn't relate in any way to what's in that article, have you read it? It doesn't mention the reality of anal, that it can cause serious harm, it's seriously biased and extremely dishonest.

I do believe that curious minds should find answers. The truth...not some dangerous porn that sounds like its been written by a child and purporting to be fucking cool , penned by some pornographer.

Yes, I do agree that there should be answers, which is why I've told teens the very dangerous risks of serious harms from anal, that the rectum is in no way designed to receive anything up it, only to expel waste and incompatible with hygiene and bodily safety. If you want to try it that you should be with someone you know very well and trust at least 100%, and even then it may hurt or cause bleeding.

Unsurprisingly, it didnt appeal! They were shocked and thought vagina and rectum had the same biology.

How can any grow up not knowing that basic fact?

We seem to be floating along on myths and lies.

How very progressive.

I'm all for openess, access to facts, but that wasn't it. Miles from it.

Its heavily biaised and dangerous clap-trap for girls.

The fact it talks about girls, and guys. So girls, underage girls, yes, under age, not technically, actually underage and illegal, rape. Not even mentioned.

Not a whisper of safeguarding. All promoted,and normalised abuses.

Urghhhh wouldn’t let Jonny Hunt mind the kids would you. What a sick fuck.

Fisting?
Anal?
Scat?
Negotiating sex?

What the actual fuck is this? Why is this aimed at 12 year olds? Why is it all about girls adjusting their expectations and not boys? What message does that send?!

No wonder parents want to send their kids to private school if this is the offering in the state sector.

It is so horrendous I can barely believe it’s real. It’s horrifying.

Can we coordinate some kind of complaint about this from a large group of us? Maybe start a petition?

I could actually cry at this. I have 2 little girls.

My 13 year old does sport in the evenings or her homework while online supervised by us. Her choice of birthday was a scavenger hunt. I would die before I let her be exposed to this at fucking school and I mean that. It will make those that aren’t doing it feel maybe they should be if school endorsed. She’s at a girls school naively hope this might mean the staff don’t take this approach.

There are no such thing as governors in academies. There may be local governing boards but they are incorrectly named and have no legal responsibility, which lies in the hands of the academy trustees. Handy, no?

School governors in maintained schools oversee PHSRE, but the degree of oversight depends on the competency of the Governors. However the LA behind this website should be collectively charged with child protection offences. It’s up to individual schools if they pass on what the LA does.

Yep, all of that. Class analysis that takes power dynamics between men and women (and between kids and the adults writing this shit) into account or GTFO of any claim to be a feminist.

This is liberal feminism's fault.

Yes, I know there's plenty of blame to go round ,but the movement that purports to speak for the interests of women and girls while actually enabling stuff like this should come in for a very large share of it.

When you take power dynamics out of your analysis of heterosexual sex, you end up with "well, if 13-year olds want to have anal sex they should be given the instructions to do it safely" as a reasonable seeming solution.

When you're all rah-rah sex positivity, and you don't talk and don't even have the language to talk about all the ways in which women often come to regret sex or feel that it damaged them, then of course you're going to end up at "why shouldn't a 13-year old girl have anal sex?" There's no proper theoretical or conceptual basis for objecting to it in liberal feminist thinking, other than "consent," and no 13-year old thinks they are too immature to consent. You can gesture at the life experience which tells you this is a bad idea and will hurt girls but without the proper analysis (radical feminist analysis) to explain how it can hurt girls it will all get written off as "prudishness" or even jealousy.

We need to be able to talk about the ways in which sex (as it's constructed under patriarchy) is often damaging to women, that even when they've "consented" to it women often find themselves mildly to severely traumatised after the fact by experiences of sex where they were too young, where they were paid, where they weren't in good mental health to start with.

When the only language you have to talk about sex that damages women is "consent" then you can't analyse the damage caused by any of those situations, other than in cases where they're clearly rape - but there are many sexual situations that are clearly not rape but still cause harm.

Fuck "sex positivity." It hurts so many girls.

They even said that sex under 16 is “technically” illegal.

I’m shooketh.

If it’s illegal (technically or otherwise) why target children with fetish topics?!

I am definitely not a prude - but I had to stop reading.

Fisting??? Scat??? Sucking your own bodily fluids out of your partner and geared to 12 year old girls?!?

They even talk about sex with a girl and a “girl” talking about how much porn she watches and normalising it. WTF?!?

Wtf? The pedophile agenda is out in the open.....

I have no words that adequately describe my anger.

I've heard some of that before, that if anal's sore just use more lube!!! Ffs!

It was on that awful sex clinic tv doc. The girl was complaining it was making her sore and the clinic advisor tokd her to use more lube???

No, no, no. If it hurts, bloody stop!

Vaginas are naturally lubed, and don't need products to make sex work well. If you are in a loving and considerate coupling that is (barring any medical issues of course).

Makibg all this mainstream and normalised, absolutely no risks highlighted, irresponsible porn, and why isn't it illegal.

If a 12 yr old is obsessed with masturbating to porn they need help, seriously. What sort of life have they had that this is how they spend their evenings?!! Abhorrent.

Report it. Report it. Report it. All decent parents should be removing their dc from schools if this is whats now acceptable and approved content for education.