My 'Patriarchy Chicken' Week

I'm 5'10, so presume that is why I never used to experience this myself. Now though - in a wheelchair - I play disability chicken every bloody day.

you, not your.

Oh dear: I feel I've failed feminism part one (and I am a bullish second waver).

But I've just tootled along (or strode if I am in a hurry) playing pavement dodgers if necessary or experiencing pavement dodging from people coming towards me.

Fascinating that as a bullish 75 year old second waver I've never ever noticed. Massive fail on my part.

Mind you I inwardly seethe if someone gives a seat up for me. My legs are fine but I am too polite to say so, so smile graciously and do the thank you mantra. I also seethe when buying a new bit of technology and sales assistants talk very slowly and loudly at me because, clearly, I've lost my marbles being elderly.

Here's the thing. Is it worse to be irritated by pavement bargers because you are a woman or patronising younger people because your are elderly?
MIsogyny or ageism. Which is worse? Hmmmmm

Walking on the left isn't a thing.

I live in an area with very high air pollution and I am always going to default to the inside of the pavement when I'm out with my small children regardless of anyone else's so-called rules.

I'll just add - I'm 5'10" and a strider, and it's almost always women who don't seem to know the rules, and who walk on the right! Pretty much exclusively!

I find it annoying (you're in my way), and I'm a woman. And yes, I look annoyed and incredulous at them, when they don't get out of my way.

I became aware of this when I was pregnant and suddenly realised men expected me to get out of their way - my theory at the time was that they didn't like a woman taking up too much space (bump was enormous). Now I often find men expect me to get my buggy out of their way and roll eyes at me when I can't move fast enough- it's done a few miles and has dodgy steering so generally I just keep going straight ahead.

Can I just ask a question about patriarchy chicken?

When you're doing it, do you keep to the left?

Because if you're striding along on the right hand side of the pavement, that's probably the reason you're getting incredulous looks, and people almost barging into you.

This is one of my absolute pet hates. People who walk on the right. It does my total head in.

Assuming you live in a country that drives on the left, then walk on the left, too. And if you do that, you'll probably encounter far less people that you even need to play 'chicken' with.

I do this too, in my city which has many wide pavements.

I’m 50s, slim build and average height but have an assertive walk. I’ve discovered that they key is to NOT make eye contact but to stare into the middle distance at eye level. That way I can see the person ( almost always a man) noticing me, deciding not to move because he assumes I will , looking surprised when I don’t then having to swerve as the last minute.

For the avoidance of doubt, I always move for anyone less able than me. And I aways give up my train seat to anyone much older, disabled, parents carrying children / toddlers or pregnant women. Which usually results in some awkward looks and nervous seat shifting from the young able bodied men and women around.

I disagree that this is infantile bullshit. Conversely, it's a serious point. It's an indication of a much wider malaise in which women, viewed seen as the 'inferior' species, are automatically assumed to be the ones who will move aside for men. In much the same way, compare 'manspreading' with women who automatically make themselves and their bodies smaller. I can cite an amusing example of this in the 'spreader' on one of the new 'Azuma' trains (cramped) who leaned into my space and kept physical contact with my arm in the assumption that I would move so he could encroach into my space (I didn't). He ended up moving seats and sitting next to an obese bloke who boarded at the next station and crammed him in next to the window, while the space beside me remained vacant. (Of course, I wasn't laughing up my sleeve in the least).

These are the spatial, physical equivalents of the promotions process in many workspaces, or the physical violence and aggression perpetrate against women. OK so 'patriarchy chicken' is a small, very small mode of resistance against such serious obstacles as these, but resistance can work on a micro level if enough people do it.

I've tried 'patriarchy chicken' in the swimming pool too. The results were ... interesting. And yes, the swimmers who invariably swim directly into others and try to barge them out of the way are almost exclusively men.

They're also really surprised when the swimmer coming in the opposite direction doesn't immediately acquiesce.

There is a shot in the Seahorse documentary where Freddie walks down a street (I think they are on the way to a clinic) and moves out of the way for everyone if I recall correctly.

RE Mediocre's comment, I once had the joy of listening to two 50 ish women talking to each other about how kids these days are so rude and don't give up their seats for older people on the bus while glaring at me. When I was 38. And really bloody tired, and carrying a bunch of bags, so I didn't get up, just gave them the raised eyebrows of "really? over an age difference of maybe just over a decade?"

If they'd been elderly of course I'd have gotten up. Was just funny because I'm 46 now and it would never occur to me to refer to people in their 30s as "kids".

I've done the deliberate not yielding to men on the pavement thing and they always look so startled. Sometimes annoyed too, but mostly shocked that a woman has had the effrontery to not automatically jump out of the way, and possibly curtsy.

I think that if you are able to move you should as you don't know if the other person would have more difficulty. I try and move for everyone, but at the same time when I was pregnant with twins and could barely walk I had no choice, but to let others move for me.

I am much less observant than my DH in noticing people for example behind me wanting to pass and so I don't think it is sex based, but aggressive responses may be.

I would imagine that it depends on your age and the other person's as to the response. For instance 2 older people making a joke about it, but a different response if an older and younger person were involved.

I had a bit of a stride going on.

Sounds like your body-language was assertive. People respond to that, even unconsciously.

Tomorrow try to do it with non-assertive body-language. Be interesting to see the difference.

I do this quite often, just to see who will move.

Interestingly my mild mannered, but brick shithouse (shaved head and tattooed) DH was horrified the firs time I did it. He invariably makes way for anyone smaller than him.

I did it in a famous historic tourist trap of a town with very narrow pavements. He was judiciously giving way to all and sundry, I picked a line and stuck to it.

He didn’t realise what I was doing, or why, but did say I was being dammed rude when he spotted me failing to give way. 🤣

Once I explained the background it got quite interesting. People moving for him, but not me.

I'm finding the report irresitably interesting WomanBornNotWorn
More please.

Sorry @Mythical

I got that, I know what OP meant by Patriarchy Chicken, I have played it, as I said!! I was just explaining what my observations were!

I'll have my post deleted for not being relevent enough, shall I?

Curious I am not talking about mobile phone absorption . I am talking about people who see you, who notice you, even make eye contact, and decide not to make room for you. Not one bit. That's not absent mindedness or obliviousness but deliberate rudeness and a desire to state what they see as their place and your place in the pecking order. And that's where it can become a feminist issue.How dare you disband a 4-people-conversation on a narrow pavement in order not to get run over by the bus? That sort of thing

oops sorry my c and p went a bit wrong there!

You know I've never thought about this. But I think I always used to get out of everyone's way automatically. Then I lost the sight in one eye and have poor sight in the other, so I often literally don't see people if they are to one side of me. I have started taking to carrying a white indicator stick when out and about since an incident in the supermarket when a young man bumped into me (yes, not the other way around) and said loudly and aggressively, 'are you fucking blind or what?' - as it was still early days in me getting used to sight loss I didn't have the gumption to say, 'actually yes, on that side' I just stood there literally shaking.
I never realised it was male entitlement, I literally thought it was my fault.
Having said that I once had a woman in a hurry barge me out of the way in a shop too, so maybe it's just general rudeness.
I'm also small and unsteady on my feet so pretty easy to bowl out of the way, so I guess I'll have to pass on this game.

Oh I can relate to all the things you say *
Add message | Report | Message posterCuriousaboutSamphire* - now I want a puppy! (sadly not up to looking after one and DH is allergic)

A friend of mine started me playing this a while back. She's very tall, dresses in trousers and baggy shirts, and noticed women getting out of her way when she cut her hair short. It really struck her the difference in the way strangers interacted with her in the street, depending on whether she read as a tall, physically-powerful man or an equally-tall woman.

However short I cut my hair, I will never be mistaken for a man, so if I walk down the street without dodging, I get shoulder-barged so many times!