Real names

I don't use my real name on twitter because it would trace back to my daughter and her partner. It's OK to make the choice for yourself, but not for other people.

I am in the same position op. My surname is very unusual, it is my husband’s name, it then makes my children easy to find and /or bully . If you google it my husband and daughter will come up.
I am on twitter under my real name, so I am careful about what I tweet. I am stuck about what to do. I agree there is strength in numbers , but I feel a responsibility towards my family too.
I am fairly vocal in real life about women’s rights, but I am far less vocal online. I could use my very common maiden name, but that also feels cowardly. It is a dilemma.

My take is to look at other areas where women live with abuse and risk.
What do we tell women who are living with domestic violence? We don't tell them that they must leave, now.
We trust them to know when they have the resources to act safely.

Do what will be most beneficial to you and to your ideals.
There are spies and secret agents in every fight. If every member of the French resistance felt compelled to declare "actually, my real name is this and my true motivation is X" the war might have ended differently.

Additionally, there is a reason why our democracy preserves anonymity in voting. It preserves fairness.

Sometimes it is more important to remain anonymous and provide show of strength in numbers instead.

If you are a public figure and your name lends weight, then use it.
If breaking anonymity would place you and your children in danger, or even just hobble your effectiveness, then don't. If you know you would say less, self-moderate more, reduce your actions because of your name being known, then it's a counterproductive exercise.

Be the most effective you can be. Only you know whether that will be named or anonymous.

Don't feel pressured by the game of chicken. The aim is to make the biggest difference you can.

Mouthy, what was your employers response, if you don't mind me asking?

I find it disturbing that so many employers buckle and don't support their employee; and tell the complainant to piss off.

I'd expect a bit more loyalty from mine, but i'm too chicken to test that theory myself.

I hear you OP. I'm also GC under my own name but in a careful restrained way, focusing on "safer" issues like transing of children and sports. It's easier to get people thinking that way and I've managed to "peak trans" a lot of people I know. On AGP and more out there topics, I use a pseudonym as there are risks to me and my family work-wise.

I too have an unusual name. I'm also in an area of employment where I'm required (it's in my contract) to be politically neutral, and we have quite detailed rules about keeping private political activity and professional life separate - this is all political views, not just trans issues. So I tend to be ultra cautious.

I have however deliberately commented BTL in some national newspapers in a very careful and I hope respectful way - but nonetheless unequivocally gender critical. I've done this partly as a defence against doxxing. If the shit ever hit the fan, I'd be able to say to HR, yes, these are my private political views, they're out there under my own name, but I'm careful not to link them to my workplace, and I do have freedom of political expression in my private life clearly set out in our workplace conduct guide, and freedom of belief is a protected characteristic under the Equalities Act.

I wouldn't use your real name unless you are 100% confident. It doesn't sound like you are.

The main impact about the "real name" thing going on at the moment is so you can see so many women coming out as GC and being brave, but there's no obligation to do it.

Don't forget that some TRA's/MRA's are completely unhinged. Didn't Posie Parker and Caroline Farrow have their kids schools published online?

In your place I'd use a pen name.

A real dilemma OP. Currently the prevailing institutions of power have been captured by men determined to silence women and appropriate all the safeguards and rights that women have fought for. And that makes us vulnerable. Until the law acts to protect free speech and ensures that women are able to speak out about this abuse without losing us our jobs and our safety, I'd have no hesitation in hiding my real name.
There are some judicial reviews - fair cop and Maya Fortstater to name a couple - which hopefully will help - if they win.

Whilst I agree that I am hiding a bit by not putting my name out there, it also means I can actually say what I think, no holds barred. There is no polite way to say that men can never be women. It will always result in anger and attacks from these men.
But nothing will be gained by being silent, or living in enforced 'agreement' by the attacks.

My twitter account is my real name and used for work. It does limit what I can say not just on feminist topics. If I was starting again, I might have two accounts, one very 'professional' and formal, the other completely personal.

If you have an unusual name, as you do, you are more identifiable, especially if you are on different social media where different pieces of information can be put together. People will have different levels of concern about this.

I do understand the rationale for asking women to be more 'out' in terms of identity but women (and men) will need to think about this carefully. Any decision has to be what's right for the individual

I'd have a professional pen-name. As you say, using your married name could draw attention to your children.

I use my real name on (one of) my Twitter accounts. That got me a complaint for transphobia to my employer, which included twice a statement that I should be sacked for my ideas/beliefs.

So there are risks.

However, speaking a to a journalist and having a little bit of my story in the public domain actually relieved the burden of carrying the experience.

But it depends on where you’re publishing and what your affiliations are, and how you declare those affiliations. If you’re publishing in, say Medium, as a private individual, then go for it!