Real names

It’s all very well for journalists like Meghan Murphy and Julie Bindel to exhort people to use their real names. As journalists, provoking debate is part of their job.

Yes, Doobigetta The irony in my situation was that I am really a nobody in the wider world. I'm still trying to work out how the student - whom I had never met, never talked to, never taught - was alerted to my tweets to the extent that they felt I should be sacked.

There's organised doxxing going on, and picking off people who aren't in the public eye is part of that.

^ what Doobigetta said.
Only the individual can make an informed choice about their own situation. Nobody is owed anyone else’s loss of safety, job, reputation, relationships, privacy.

It’s all very well for journalists like Meghan Murphy and Julie Bindel to exhort people to use their real names. As journalists, provoking debate is part of their job. Yes, it’s possible that expressing GC views might lose them some work, but it would probably gain just as much from elsewhere. It isn’t the same for the rest of us, and I don’t see Maya Forstater demanding that everyone use their real names.

I joined Twitter 5 years ago under my real name (surname and shortened first name that I've been known by since college) and only went anonymous when I started to get flack for posting GC stuff a year ago. As I'm long retired and my children have children of their own, I'm one of those who has felt able to shed her anonymity on Twitter in honour of Magdalen. However I'm using my full first name this time, which no-one under the age of 60 knows me by. It seems like a compromise which will work for me and I admit it's rather nice to see the name my parents gave me in use again.

I am in the same position as BarbaraStrozzi professionally so I have to be fairly circumspect about what I can and can't write publicly under my name. I have quietly peak transed a few SM friends, mainly through sharing articles which focus on what's going on in women's sport these days, accompanied by a carefully worded comment that emphasises 'concerns about fairness'. I've attended a couple of GC meetings IRL. I do what I can to add my voice, if not always my name, while staying safe.

I am unable to use my real name and state my views publicly because I have a trans relative who I don’t want to hurt. They often confide in me and I have to keep my opinions to myself.

I have, therefore, started a new Twitter account anonymously and have to support other, braver people in different ways. You can only do what is safe for you and your situation.

Good post Barracker

I think a lot of us fell into this without thinking it through.

I would maybe distill my comments to say that if you are going to speak out online in your real name, work out what is most important in your life and take steps to safeguard it.

And yes, I do have these conversations in real life - most importantly with my DCs, who have had it hammered into them that gender is a social construct and that you can’t change sex. They know they should be respectful but assertive in stating reality.

I’ve written to my MP and made a stand about “gender M/F/other” being used on official forms etc so I’m doing my bit, but I’m not needlessly putting my head above the parapet.

I’m a very small voice in all of this, mainly keep my GC views to this forum and the odd article about RM etc I might share on FB.

I joined a small FB group discussing GC issues and was doxxed on Twitter. There was a thread about it on here - there were quite a few of us whose names, locations and employers were all put on a list and shared for other TRAs to do with what they wanted.

That did the job it was intended to do - I left the group, changed my name/URL on FB and deleted any posts that might give TRAs any ammunition in real life (I was attending an exhibition for work which I’d mentioned and feared they might see the notice I’d posted about it and make a bomb hoax call or something).

DP was very cross with me for putting myself and my DCs in harms way for speaking out.

His view (he agrees with me on the GC/peak trans front) is that I should leave it to others who aren’t in a vulnerable position re work/young DCs etc and are more free to state controversial opinions without putting their job or kids at risk. I’m uncomfortable with that in many ways, but sadly I ended up agreeing with him .

I hate that they got their way, but it’s not just socialisation that makes us put our kids safety first, it’s knowing that these scorned TRAs are batshit.

I admire anyone who uses their real name without fear but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong not to.

As other posters above, I believe real life and online are very different animals and it's about effectiveness.

I am revealing GC opinions face to face and in letters to my MP and organisations. The internet, however, exposes you to an exponentially larger number of nasty individuals.

I'm certainly out in real life. My friends and family know exactly where I stand.

It's frankly as dangerous to reveal all your various online identities and how they are linked as it is to use the same username and password for every website you use.

There is absolutely nothing to gain from Jane Smith announcing "my internet names are AngryWoman365 and StickerBirdRules" and an impossible amount to lose by doing that.

It's like marching into a battlefield announcing body armour is for cowards. You'll get shot.

We can be very naive about strategy and tactics. TRAs are loving all these impassioned reveals and they will continue to revel in the increased opportunity for pointed lawsuits, police assisted harassment, doxing, fire-your-transphobic-employees campaigns, and general or specific threats.

None of which is to say don't out yourselves IF you feel that this makes you MORE effective and you are ready to withstand anything that comes your way.

But if you fall into the category of women for whom any targeted harassment will result in you STOPPING all activity, then it's completely counterproductive.

If Alan Turing had walked into his village pub and announced exactly who he was, what his war efforts were doing, and what he was trying to achieve, the war would have continued a great deal longer.

Be the most effective you can be.

Murphy has since clarified she wasn't talking about online. She has a point in that it's no good being a keyboard warrior only.

Go to meetings, do stickering, write to your mp, talk to your kids' schools. That's being brave. Getting into twitter spats with people like Kilgore sprout is just pointless

I’m openly GC under my own name pretty much everywhere except here. But it’s a fairly common name and I don’t have kids.

I'm not prepared to lose my job by speaking out.
I am prepared to write to my MP using my name, I'm prepared to vote for any politician who is openly gender critical, I'm prepared to attend meetings, to distribute leaflets, and to discuss this online anonymously. I share information on various sites.
But me losing my job isn't going to achieve anything is it?

I will be staying anonymous online for the foreseeable future due to a combination of potential impact on family members, and a job situation that could go badly wrong if I was fully open (and especially due to the point where these meet, as the job situation would of course heavily impact my family/dependents if it went wrong). It doesn't feel fair to put them at risk of that.

However - that doesn't stop me being active in my real name elsewhere, for example, speaking out to people I know and where I don't feel there is a risk, writing letters to MPs and others for example, and I feel better for being able to do that. The difference is that online you are open to anyone including the most dodgy of the TRAs; but we can still achieve a lot without having to broadcast it to them.

Meghan Murphy quite rightly got shit for posting the following:

in light of the tragic death of brilliant, brave, and always witty Magdalen Berns, I will no longer tolerate excuses about anonymity and refusing to speak out in defense of women's sex-based rights (UNDER ONE'S OWN NAME!)

So many women cannot do this. Don't shit on them Meghan.

I don’t write any homophobic stuff. Unless of course you believe in the concept of gay penguins. I’ve never had the police wanting to talk to me about homophobic postings, only the Susie Green stuff.

But TBF, while I got a shedload of grief over defending the traditional position on marriage, it didn’t quite extend to the level of violent & sexual threats. Though someone did dox me by outing my former names which they’d looked up on the register.

I just think mothers are particularly vulnerable.

A hard path to walk, for sure.

All my social media, except mumsnet is in my own name very openly. I have an employer who is just about as opposite to me in their gender critical views as it can get. I follow/say nothing GC under my own name online, partly because I am scared of TRAs and partly because my employer might well take action against me. I don't feel happy or comfortable with my situation, but I do at least feel safe.

After seeing Posie Parker and Caroline Farrow’s children targeted I won’t take the risk of using my own name.

Be Brave, yes. But women also have to be safe. I admire any woman who puts their head out there and risks their employment and their safety. But I completely understand why many women don’t and I think anyone who is planning to give up their anonymity should take the time to think through the worst case scenarios - stalking, job loss, doxxing, law suits, physical violence.

I’m deeply sorry about the loss of Magdalen Berns but I didn’t agree with her on this. Or with Julie Bindel, who I admire enormously. Women choose to prioritise their safety for very good reasons.

My position is that I discuss this overtly IRL (which hasn’t been consequence free, but they are consequences I was aware of and can live with), but my discussion of the issues online is anonymous. And will stay that way for now for the sake of my children.

What needs to stop is women challenging others to give up their anonymity - I had a few PMs on twitter to this effect. We don’t know each other’s personal lives and need to respect differing boundaries.

I wrote a twitter thread on it earlier. We have to each focus on doing what we can. Not beat ourselves (or each other) up for what we can’t do.

Well you write lots of homophobic stuff as well Caroline. Nothing excuses the harassment you or your family have had had but it was from transactivists. So it's a bit inaccurate of you to lump gay and lesbian people in with TRAs in that instance.

Do not use your real name if you are writing about LGBT issues and have children or family to protect.

Learn from my mistake.

My surname is unusual and I share it with my wider family. My relatives are frequently vetted for government contracts: given the high ratio of trans-identifying individuals making policy in the civil service, my (tiny but vocal) social media utterances would undoubtedly cause problems.

Additionally, I've been anonymous online for two decades due to stalking by dangerous men. I am able to have freedom of speech / freedom of thought that would be impossible were I scared of being doxxed and "found" by my psychotic Ex. It has taken me years to recover physically and emotionally from domestic violence, to the point where I now have a career in education that I did not believe possible even six years ago. With it comes the responsibility to not bring my institution into disrepute for my personal beliefs. Sadly, knowing biological reality is now heresy so I am constrained three-fold from using my real name. I know my situation is not at all unusual.

I'm out and proud OP but I sympathise with your dilemma. I think it is easier all round to be open. Friends who have preferred to remain anonymous for similar reasons to you end up getting into all sorts of tangles - what happens if they go to a WPUK meeting or a protest? Or do they just not go? Do they speak up in meetings at work or sign a letter to a newspaper? It is useful to have people who are willing to write under their own name to employers/universities/newspapers and to come to meetings and get together.

I was influenced by knowing people who were active in antifascism in the 80s and 90s, and faced violent threats. In the end the choice was to protest or not to protest. Perhaps that is different now that we have the internet, but being able to talk openly to politicians, newspapers etc does matter. There is strength in numbers. Once you come out as GC you find there are lots of others who will get in touch and help you.

One thing I would say - every woman makes her own judgment call on this and that is fine. But try to avoid getting in touch with those who are 'out' and asking if they are ok that you are not (I know that is not what you are doing here, by the way). I get quite a lot of those requests and so do other women I know. Perfectly understandable, but I and those I know don't really have time or energy to salve the consciences of those who believe they have to remain anonymous.