Things I have learned in Feminist Chat

Hey Magdalen we tried
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But we will keep calling it 💪

That Magdalen Berns says it as it is, and calls it bullshit when it is. RIP Magdalen, your light will continue to shine bright into the TRA corners

Many of the things already posted (including WBH

I clearly don't spend enough time on FWR since this thread has taught me lots of new phrases. But the simplest thing is the knowledge and language to describe concepts from a feminist viewpoint. Very useful to poke the wasps nest every so often at work.

Chesterton's Fence!
Bunbury is trying to teach me not to be such a sucker for a troll and slowly but surely I am reaching for the gray rock.
The Duluth Wheel.
Mostly that I am not alone, after all. Thank you one and all.

That I'm not alone.

After years of being in a community that's so liberal it's collective brains have fallen out, I've moved home and am reclaiming my space and my voice plus finding new friends.

You all rock thanks for being here.

To all the brilliant,educated articulate and witty feminists here, thank you.

Tbh, that I really am a feminist. For some time I no longer thought I was.

A lot more about different types of feminism.

And that I am much more inclined now to genuinely listen to older women, rather than basing my feminism on the brilliant but very young voices of the feminist polemic classics.

www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/

Duluth Wheel

I think that works just as well.

Darvo

DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender."

Although in my head I had D standing for deflect and R re-frame, but just thinking of DAVRO if I get into an argument gives me a bit of headspace to keep focused and not fall for some gaslighting crap.

Imagine how far our rights would have gone if the GRA consultation went sailing through.

I read the first few posts, and got a sudden craving for WBH (so satisfying )

I've learned that there are a helluva lot of women out there who don't think that prostitution is empowering, that surrogacy is all fantastic and women should gladly do it.

Regulatory capture is probably the most important thing I've learned about: pretty much everyone I know thinks the whole trans agenda is nuts, but unless we stop just muttering and rolling our eyes at the ludicrousness of the situation, it will become the law of the land.

This weekend I've set aside time to complete the surrogacy consultation: a couple of years ago I wouldn't have bothered, but after seeing the difference completing that awful self id consultation made I'm going for it.

I didn't do the six month lurk before I dived in (quite a while ago, possibly when FWR was still called FWR). I had my arse handed to me, quite rightly.

So, one of the things I've hopefully learned is a bit of humility and self-reflection. I've also learned I occasionally need a refresher course.

On one of the lurker threads, it was established that the average time from starting to lurk FWR threads to plucking up the courage to post was about six months

I didn’t see this but i agree

It took me ages...honestly ages to post...and then even longer to be confident about it

More positively I’ve learnt that together we can make a difference

I’ve learnt an enormous amount about legislation. I’ve learnt that even high profile and intelligent people don’t seem able to think critically and are willing to believe unsubstantiated and illogical ideology if that will burnish their image. I’ve learnt that fairness in women’s sport doesn’t matter - the important thing is that male-bodied people can compete in women’s sport and only women need to be kind as their rights are trampled on.

I'm another one who has always felt uneasy about surrogacy and has been relieved to find other people who feel the same way.

I've also learnt about the Overton Window, regulatory capture and Chesterton's fence. And how could I forget the Bewilderness's brilliant rules of misogyny? (Which, once you know them, you start spotting everywhere.)

There are an awful lot of clever, funny, sane women on FWR. This is why it's one of my favourite places on the web.

Thankyou Ereshkigal.

That my unease with surrogacy is not bigoted, or squeamish. That I am in fact completely right to think it is abominable, and thanks to FWR I now have the words to articulate why I think that.

This. And that actually, many of the things I felt uneasy about aren't my personal failings, but are in fact shared by many women and are the problems of men's structural power and dominance.

On one of the lurker threads, it was established that the average time from starting to lurk FWR threads to plucking up the courage to post was about six months.

It underlined to me how vital it is that we keep talking here.

I got into the topic from a libertarian/free speech POV. Wasn’t too bothered about feminism. Didn’t know the history, the difference between lib and rad, thought PoMo was some university bollocks that no one took seriously, and I didn’t think we were as despised as was being claimed. You lot have changed my mind.

Since to defend our position we have to be an expert in everything, while to oppose it you just need feelings and slogans, I have also learned about UK equality and hate speech laws, human biology (chromosomes, gametes, DSDs) psychology and social gender roles in different cultures. I’ve learned about politics, candidate shortlisting, how laws are proposed and made, charities and rules governing these, and a good whack of logic and identifying fallacious arguments.

It’s quite genuinely been an education.

That people are entitled to their own opinions and beliefs but not their own facts.

Hate crimes and the definition of "hate incidents"

That people don't consider wanking at your desk or wanking in a gimp suit in the toilets, and posting it all online, to be an issue unless loads of people complain.

Cognitive dissonance