Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

"Let trans men be fem" what does this mean?

60 replies

TheMessyCleaner · 10/09/2019 15:38

Ok so I wouldn't put myself firmly in either camp, I'm pretty sure some of my friends would say I'm transphobic' but honestly I'm just curious about why we need labels.
One of my daughter's friends mums identifies as 'non binary' yet I've never seen her without a skirt on or make up or long hair worn in a traditionally feminine style. She's in a long term relationship with a man, her daughter is very 'girly' in terms of dress and is not old enough to dress herself so I presume this is the mum's choice of clothes etc.
We are friends on Facebook and she constantly posts memes from a group named 'let trans men be fem.' I thought this was first about m-f trans women but no it appears to be aimed at women who identify as male who want to still be feminine. I try to be accepting but honestly wtf.
If we just got rid of all those silly labels (cis, terf, non binary) then we could all just be hot girls who want to wear eyelashes and nails and also want to fuck other hot girls or guys from time to time or wear a suit to a wedding or have short hair or do whatever the hell we wanted!
Yes no one understands trans men who want to be feminine because it's a stupid idea that biological sex has anything to do with what we wear or want to rub bits with. Can't we just be us?

OP posts:
raffle · 10/09/2019 16:34

ADHD isn’t a made up label. It’s a neuro diverse condition that requires extensive evidence to diagnose.

Was kinda with you up until this point.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/09/2019 16:32

I thought the whole point of being a trans man was a rejection of femininity.

Original poster
TheMessyCleaner · 10/09/2019 16:31

@itseasybeingcheesy I agree! It's an epidemic in the circuits I mix in. People making up labels for their kids when they are pretty ordinary, middle class white kids. "Oh but did you know Hugo actually has ADHD?"

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 10/09/2019 16:30

Blatant attention seeking on behalf of your friend.

Regarding feminine trans men... urgh. Anyone can wear anything they like and should be allowed to (as long as they aren't indecent) but it has nothing to do with whether they are female or male.

I was confused by a young trans man on YouTube - an actor in a Netflix show - who say saying sometimes they like to wear make up and earrings and be more feminine. I actually think they were genuine, not attention seeking, but more likely a confused lesbian.

Scarlett555 · 10/09/2019 16:21

She / they sounds annoying but harmless

itseasybeingcheesy · 10/09/2019 16:16

People are desperate to be different from everyone else because they don't feel satisfied with themselves as they are. Not because there's anything "wrong" with them but because they are self obsessed.

This phase of society will be looked back on with embarrassment in twenty to forty years no doubt.

BillywilliamV · 10/09/2019 16:14

I identify as a small wooden coffee table but I reserve the right to be feminine

nauticant · 10/09/2019 16:10

Without this she'd be a bog-standard heterosexual woman. Generally looked down on. This way she can be brave and stunning and be met with admiration whenever she announces her special identity.

Given the choice she's gone for high status over low status.

OhHolyJesus · 10/09/2019 16:03

If you don't want to unfollow completely you can mute for 30 days. It's basically attention seeking nonsense and/or jumping on the bandwagon to be special. Either way it's tedious and there are more important things to worry about, let her crack on.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 10/09/2019 15:52

Sounds like attention seeking. I'd 'unfriend' her or whatever it is you do on Facebook (I don't use it).

I'm beginning to think the best thing to do with such people is ignore them, as you would a spoiled toddler.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.