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Original poster

Kink shaming

181 replies

Pota2 · 31/08/2019 09:05

www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/the-porn-you-watch-shouldnt-be-kink-shamed/11453254

The danger with this is, if anything goes in terms of fantasies, how can we legitimately separate this from e.g. fantasies about children? If it’s cool to fantasise about rape and abuse, how can it not be cool to fantasise about a 9 year old child being abused or an animal being abused? I know that those who defend the ‘anything goes’ attitude will say ‘of course there is a difference’ but I can’t really see one, unless you are suggesting that rape is not as morally reprehensible or something (in which case, why isn’t it?).

This won’t end well. Sexual fantasies should be held to the same level of scrutiny as other fantasies or thoughts. If you get off on being violent to another person, you’re still a violent person. You don’t get a get out of jail free card because you say it gives you a hard-on.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 31/08/2019 12:23

Kick shaming = normalisation of fetishes.

Let's just get rid of the euphemisms here.

Birdsfoottrefoil · 31/08/2019 12:22

Sounds like queer theory to me - breaking down taboos, normalising paedophilia, stopping the shaming of men’s perverted sexual interests.

Why wouldn’t I think this is a good thing? 🤔

truthisarevolutionaryact · 31/08/2019 12:20

I don't get how anyone can argue that we should remove taboos / shame from paedophilia, rape, incest etc? It's these taboos that keep people safe. There's nothing wrong with qualified psychiatrists etc researching and studying in order to treat sex offenders but the idea that the rest of us should be 'kind' and understand these issues is just a nonsense. Surely it's being kind and tolerant to predators that is enabling so much sexual harm to happen to others?

Original poster
Pota2 · 31/08/2019 11:58

Bespin how can we remove the shame around getting off on incest, rape, abuse? Those are activities that are inherently shameful. We must make clear to people why they are shameful and the harm they cause to victims, even if you don’t consider that there is an immediate victim.

By saying that we should destigmatise them, we will then be forced to accept non-offending MAPs etc. It has already started to happen- people who see their attraction to kids as okay as long as they don’t act on it and just another kink

OP posts:
Original poster
Pota2 · 31/08/2019 11:54

I don’t think that the ‘it doesn’t harm anyone if it’s written/actors’ is good enough. It still does harm and should be treated as ‘getting sexual enjoyment from watching/imagining/reading about someone (often a vulnerable person) being harmed’ and judged as such.

It really is sick how popular incest fantasies are among men. But I think we need to confront the idea that it’s just monsters and freaks who abuse children or rape women. Given how many people have been abused as children and women who have been raped as adults, there’s a significant number of men who are pedophiles and/or rapists. By dismissing their predilections as fantasy or kink, we are helping them to normalise and excuse their behaviour in their heads.

OP posts:
Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:44

NotBadConsidering

so how do we make it all go away then, what is the right answer? I beleive that removing the taboo around things can allow people to better understand them. that these are complex issues and that we do not serve them by just using shame.

ballsdeep · 31/08/2019 11:42

'step. Daddy' and step sibling porn and losing virginity porn is incredibly popular on sites like porn hub and the like. If it was illegal, surely they wouldn't be allowed to be shown on sites in the UK? I understand in real life, incest etc isnt legal.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:41

I think the point was that some of those things are illegal but sadly not everywhere in the world, to various levels.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:39

DickKerrLadies

Well they seem to have gone now I think they just wanted to have a post deleted or something who knows, why some people come on here and what they get from it.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:39

Who on this thread has indicated that child marriage is a 'third world issue'????

Try and keep on topic, seriously.

NotBadConsidering · 31/08/2019 11:39

Can we stop using the word “taboo”? It’s suggests it’s something naughty. Incest, rape, paedophilia and bestiality are ILLEGAL. They are illegal because of the immense harm they cause and lack of consent. People aren’t being “kink shamed” because they get off on “taboo” subjects, they are being linked shamed because they get off on subjects that are illegal and cause immense harm. Lack of consent turns them on.

And if people don’t want to be shamed for that, stop sharing it. I don’t, for one second, believe that if we all stopped being such prudes and didn’t “shame” people, then these people could open up about their difficulties, address them and the vast underground world on the deep web of horrific images of abuse would cease to exist. Bullshit. All that would happen is a drift towards normalising such acts, like people parading as dogs at Pride in front of children. I don’t see them grateful for not being pushed “underground” to allow them to deal with their kinks better Hmm.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:38

And actually most counties don't allow marriage until 18, the UK is out of step, with our age of consent as well.

Which is all very interesting.

Is it trying to say, child marriage exists in some countries so images of csa are OK? Something like that. It's not terribly clear.

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:38

Fraggling

no the opersite I think that cultures should be mindful of there own practices when calling on others to stop. I too think child marriage is wrong in all countries but take issue when it is seen as a third world issue when it is not.

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:38

Usually, I try and avoid obvious trolls. I'm not always very good at it.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:36

Child marriage is wrong bespin and should be made illegal globally.

Your comment seems to suggest that one culture should not comment on the practices of another culture even if the practice is child rape.

Is that you Dr h? GrinGrinGrin

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:36

DickKerrLadies

yes me too, I'm suprised other people didn't point it out.

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:35

as you are clearly on here just to offend people with a temporary user name.

I've heard that's happening quite a bit here at the moment.

truthisarevolutionaryact · 31/08/2019 11:30

Excellent OP Pota2
We absolutely should kink shame extreme and harmful porn practices and those who promote them. That's how parents - especially mothers - keep children safe. By recognising that too many men don't have boundaries in relation to sexual behaviour and - if given free rein - will erode the boundaries of others.
It is interesting how many people with an open interest in extreme porn and sexually inappropriate behaviour have been able to actively violate women's boundaries and, enabled by powerful men in power, have suddenly been successful in removing years of hard won rights for women and children to safety, privacy and dignity. It's chilling that until recently, the only times I would hear this lack of respect for boundaries was from an abusive predator. Until now.....

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:27

Are they so stupid they don't realise why there are taboos against incest, paedophilia and bestiality?

there are social taboos against these things again in the USA some states allow child marriage something that is a social taboo in the UK. so they are stupid right.?

Honflyr · 31/08/2019 11:27

I get that point Fraggling, I suppose I was thinking more about the general romanticisation in fiction of these things and how that can lead the younger female audiences to internalise these things or essentially be brainwashed into the kink community, if that makes sense

Bespin · 31/08/2019 11:24

testing987654321

as you are clearly on here just to offend people with a temporary user name. Shall we just carry on with the thread.

Fraggling · 31/08/2019 11:23

Fanfic point is interesting

For sure it's totally inappropriate for teens etc

It's not the same as having people do the thing in real life though

If this woman was reading erotic stories about rape again I'd be less fussed. However what she is doing is watching people whose circumstances she has no idea about, actually being choked etc. Not the same at all.

I just remembered. I used to read an erotic fiction site years ago. Most of the stories seemed to be by women. I stopped for a bit and when went back a year or so later, it had really changed. Men dominated the writing and the vast majority of stories across all categories were about incest.

It was grim tbh. I didn't know so many men had a thing about fucking their kids / other men fucking their daughters.

DickKerrLadies · 31/08/2019 11:22

Yep, totes about the storyline and the acting.

Has anyone's mum ever believed that line?

MargueritaBlue · 31/08/2019 11:21

Yes I will kink shame anyone who gets off on watching women being abused

I will kink shame anyone who gets off on watching any person or creature being abused.

MargueritaBlue · 31/08/2019 11:19

Are they so stupid they don't realise why there are taboos against incest, paedophilia and bestiality?

People taking part in these activities deserve to be shamed to the highest heaven. Their actions are damaging to the individuals concerned and to society as a whole.