Trans Widows Escape Committee 3: Rise of the Trans Widows

Just intruding for a second to say hi to BoudiccaMarley and welcome to Mumsnet!

(We usually leave the women here to discuss among themselves, so I'm not ignoring you!)

The invisible mother article made me well up. Love and total respect to all the mothers on this thread. You are not invisible to us.
back to lurking

Hi Angel!

No sooner said than done... I left the AGP douchebro who I had a kid with 17yr ago. Long distance courtship London/Scotland ensured I saw no red flags, and I understand bc of unresolved trauma, I'm shit at picking partners.

Took me 2yr from the first time I found his clothing/kit. Fuck that forever.

The ChildrenOfTransitioners posts are really good, if very painful to read.

Tyro that's the nub of it. Take away the supposed reason, and it's the utter selfishness that leaves me angry after several years. I have come across very few women who treat their children with such disregard, insensitivity and as of less importance than themselves. And WTF is going on with flamenco? My ex posts celebratory pics of his poses on social media!

ItsOn that's made me really cross on your daughter's behalf. Did it never occur to him that his daughter's psychological welfare might be just a tiny bit more important than his own desire for validation?

It's rule one of parenting, isn't it? Kids' needs come before parents' wants.

Yes a judge had to order my ex to let our daughter call him Daddy and to refer to himself as Daddy with her. He said "Daddy" or "Father" are transphobic. The judge and courts disagreed.

By "bizarre thing" I mean expecting your children to support your delusions and getting angry when they don't do it perfectly.

It's not how being a parent should work.

It does seem really similar. It's such a bizarre thing.

My ex immediately took up flamenco dancing and bought all the gear (which he wore when he wasn't even at lessons inc flowers on his head). He went on to perform with an all women flamenco dance group. It looked utterly ridiculous - in his heels he would be around 6'3" with size 11 feet and great long skinny arms and legs, towering over the women who were a foot shorter and curvy. He must have believed he passed. Then he gave up very suddenly for some reason.

testing that's so well-observed and interesting. It seems their credibility is so precarious that they have to out-'women' women. My ex (not only dances now, funnily enough but) is always over-made up. (There are interesting MN threads about how people think they 'pass' because no'one appears to notice, when in fact middle aged transitioners really don't fool anyone but women are far too polite, or uninterested, or repelled/alarmed to show a reaction). It is a sad sign of how delusional and self-focused these men can be.

I was away dancing at the weekend. There was a man dressed as a woman (no idea how he identifies). Interestingly he wore makeup the whole weekend despite the heat (not a decision the women made).

The interesting bit was that he danced with women the whole weekend but always in the "woman's" position. Normally if two women dance together they tend to swap places now and then.

I know nothing about him beyond what I observed but it made me think of this thread as it felt like a real performance of trying to be a woman that displaced actual women. I think it would be much better for him to learn to be comfortable as he is, not performing all the time.

Anyway, if his female partner isn't happy I hope she finds this thread sometime.

@socialworker222 and @TinselAngel both your words have made me smile. So damn much.

It is like a door has been opened and I know I'm not utterly crazy anymore. That affirmation is beyond value.
Al the women here are priceless beyond words. I'm so grateful to have found you all. You are all so strong. We all are.

And remember Alone, you have the right under the Care Act to ask for referral to secondary mental health services with ongoing or unfinished issues. You certainly shouldn't have to tolerate this alone. I hope you recognize how tough you are. You sound like someone who has great strength.

ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow That's their female socialisation in action. The Transwidows threads are proof positive of male socialisation, entitlement and patriarchal fuckery.

Thank you HouseMouse - these particular "women" are not stunning and brave. They are women haters who want to erase us completely - tried destroying us and our children in relationships, but didn't succeed. This is their next step.

Delurking to say that the transwidows are the lifeblood of this board because they can teach us what's really going on behind the 'I'm a woman now' mantra. It's a true insight into Autogynephilia that is vital in understanding the Transmovement and why these men want to violate our rights as females, why they have had doctors fired, the man rage they display etc.

Just wanna say how valued you women are

~mancheeze

Thanks so much @Italiangreyhound . I shall look now.

Yes the two trans friends I have are transmen. They don't tell men what they are, they don't demote them as "cis men" or physically or emotionally abuse them. They are the same people they always were including what they wear, but now have facial hair and receding hairlines as a result of testosterone therapy.